My Letters to God.

Letter 11

Did I do the right thing God? Did I do the right thing when I told Jack that I cannot and will not force him to pray to you? Did I hurt you when I said that? As your follower I know we're supposed to tell others about your love and lead them to you but does that mean pushing it on people how it was pushed on me when I was younger? Am I a person in constant doubt? I will continue to seek you Lord and talk to my friends about you. I pray to you for courage and strength for that but forcing them? You never once force us-you give us the free will to follow you or not-I don't even know what I'm trying to ask or say Lord. All day I've just been floating I guess. I'm feeling that same feeling that keeps me up. Are you trying to tell me something God? What is this feeling? I'm tired but I'm fighting it. My stomach is in knots almost. Like I'm dreading something but I don't know what or why. I want to hug my dad. Another part of me wants to take the medication but then that feels like running away. It's been days since I felt like this so why now? Did I do the right thing? Did I say something wrong? I am truly sorry if I did Lord. I am so sorry for everything that I did that anger and/or sadden you God. I pray that you guide me to you, that I put my trust in no one else but you and you alone. That whatever gets in my way hinders me not from seeking you God. I pray for my friend Jack that you use me to speak to him Lord. That you use me to speak to all my friends and family about you and lead them to you God. I pray that I am used by you to spark a desire to build a relationship with you and that our relationship gets tighter as well. I wish not to be lost again Lord. Let not our thoughts be dark, nor our hearts be harden. In Jesus name: Amen. Children are interesting things God. The way they are just content at a certain age. They don't worry about anything except getting punished by their parents or not getting a toy they wanted. But they listen when they know they have to. It's admiring how happy they are with everything given to them even if it's not much. They're cute like that too. Sometimes I honestly wish time would turn back and I can be an infant/toddler again. Life would be simple but then again I wouldn't be me and that truly would be running away right? Maybe I should show my dad these letters...it might be helpful. He won't be able to give me answers because he's not you but you do use him when I least expect it. If I expect it at all. You truly do, do wonders God. Thank you for loving me and my family and friends. Good night.

Candy.