God...right now I want to cry but I don't want to worry my cousin. I know she will never judge me if I let loose the waterworks but I guess I'm afraid of explaining. I guess that if I confess out loud through my lips what goes through my mind, it will become real. Then I was reminded of you while I was reading my aunt's posts on Facebook. She always sharing and posting scriptures and other things to lift others up. it annoys me because she always posting and I can never read or reply to her fast enough. Ever second she posts but then I don't want to tell her to stop because she is doing your work and that is just wrong of me to tell her stop. Others who don't know you might learn of you through my aunt and I will not deprive them of that! She posted a picture of how we should come to you three times actually now that I think about it-they come in threes hahah! Sorry, anyways it hit me that these thoughts; these devils whispering inside my brain that instead of fighting them on my own and having to stay strong- I should have been coming to you! You are my father and you tell us to come to you, you are a generous God and wants to lift us up (I hope that came out right) our battles we don't have to fight alone. You are always with us! So Lord, my everything is in your hands: you made me new and I believe I am new because you Lord Jesus cleansed me through your blood. Please help me to stay in that love and fight these intrusive thoughts that seems to want to steal me from you. Please keep me strong when I get weary and know that you will never abandon me when I'm in need. Please dad...help me understand that the thoughts are not me. I know you are good and righteous and love me so much you gave you Son to die on the cross for me...I want to stay with you and love you with all of myself, help me fight the enemy Lord and stand firm in you. Let me bask in your presence on walk in you. Teach me to love and speak only truth and life through my lips. Thank you for not giving up on me and never abandoning me. For forgiving me of my sins and as Chuck Norris once said "keeping the end of your bargain even when I sadly don't keep mine." In Jesus name: Amen. Thank you my loving and awesome Dad!
Candy.
YOU ARE READING
My Letters to God.
Spiritual"I feel like I'm going in circles. Like I'm stuck in a cycle and I can't seem to claw my way out of. It's feels like when I found my religion again I started grieving. Like all the things I've ever held in and ignored through others things are final...
