My Letters to God.

Letter 66

Thank you for waking me up from this blindness I been walking in. Lord , you are my Lord. Not the devil and I know that in my heart but my mind seems to be the main thing I tend to follow. My hear belongs with you but my mind gets easily twisted and my emotions get punched pretty badly up and down. I tend to forget your promises and I find myself freaking out each week. I learned I go by emotions and thoughts when I should be following the truth - You. You love me. You believe me in me. You picked me. You MADE me. You are forming me. You cleansed me. Most importantly, YOU GAVE YOUR SON TO DIE IN MY PLACE ON THAT CROSS! I've been walking around crying and mumbling over things the devil kept doing. Putting things in my head like "Hail Lucifer" or saying horrid things about the people I love or do not know and I find myself just hating myself and freaking out all day but that's not what I'm supposed to do. The one thing I cherish is my mind. The control I have over my own thoughts but as always, the devil takes what I cherish away and then tries blaming you. Foolishly I fall for his trap but that's not the way. YOU are the way Jesus. God, you are TRUTH. I should be walking in gratitude and thanking you for everything big and small. Instead of listening to the enemy. Things I learned today is to not give up! I am human. I'm fickle and worry and have anxiety and can get pretty dark pretty quickly. I'm ill tempered when my buttons are pushed and get afraid. I hate myself when I feel good. I feel like I betray you when I do things I love like write or reading things that aren't devotionals. I tend to stand on the path rather than walk it because I fear of stepping the wrong way but you give me strength Lord. I came so far in so little time because of you. In mere months that depression...that darkness that followed me is now just a shadow and is continuing to diminish because you got me. You brought me out of the darkness and made me shine. You make me stand out like a star in the dark of night. People even tell me I seem and even sound different than before. Not the same. I still struggle...I still fight and I find myself still being stubborn to both sides but I thank you Lord for being patient with me especially this week that I have been moping and mumbling and complaining. Thank you for convicting me and opening my eyes once more. Help me Lord to challenge myself to be more grateful and find your goodness in everything each day rather than the bad and to rebuke the devil when he comes knocking, taunting me that he can get in my head. You have my heart GOD! There is no "Hail Satan" here! Let "Glory be to God almighty!" be on my lips and seared on my heart for ever and ever! You brought me to life and take the anxiety and worry away! Give me the strength to face today and glorify you in all I do! Without shame and with love just like yours! In Your most wonderful and powerful name that gave me back life! AMEN! Glory to JESUS!

Candy!
Child of the one true King JESUS!