My Letters to God.

Letter 31

So I went to anime club today Lord and boy was it something. Makes me wonder if I was ever that way when I was still in school and messing around in that club. I think I actually grown Lord, you're molding me and the way I actually think. I'm getting older and receiving wisdom, learning from the basis of things and actually taking into account why there are all in existence. A lot of me still needs to grow but with your almighty grace and power, I will grow. I'm learning so much and actually trying to understand everything. I look back on how when I was little and everything was such a blur and how I didn't want to deal with it or read anything because I could never understand what I'm reading but now...it's like wow. Seriously?! Sometimes when I'm reading the bible or watching the movies about your son or the disciples I find myself thinking "Why ya so salty?!" towards the ones that rejected and persecuted them. Which is wrong of me too because I'm judging and getting angry quickly at them but I understand now what it is you're teaching me and also why things are the way there are. Why we have trials and how sin is death to us. How everything really does happen for a reason and it's our reactions that leads us places. Why your gift of salvation is a gift and not an obligation. The more I learn of you Lord and your son, the more things make sense. I still get confused and some things seem like contradicting to me but that's because I still need to learn and have things dumb down for me. I am not wise Lord. I am but a sinner. Human and unworthy of your love but you love me anyways and is patient with me Lord. You Forgive and watch out for me every day Lord. Me and my family and friends and all the things that went on in my past-it shaped me. It led me to you Lord-you led me to you and I am grateful to you for everything. Thank you God and I pray you continue to teach me. That I listen and do everything good out of love for you Lord. I was reading yesterday my night devotional about how Jesus died for our sins and closed the gap that was between you and us. The metaphor used was a ladder that Jesus takes us all the way up to you and that when we stumble we don't fall because Jesus grabs us and brings us back. It brought comfort knowing that even when I stumble I will be caught and dragged back to your loving embrace. It doesn't mean I can go back to how I was and I don't want to. I want to be good and do my best to make you smile Lord. I don't want to leave this earth a monster. That's what I always thought about myself before. A monster. I don't want to be that way Lord...so thank you. My past does not define me. When I go to you Lord Jesus my past is washed away and I thank you so much for that and I pray you continue to lead me. In your holiest name amen.

 Candy.

(Also want to know something ironic which you already know. I started downloading Christian songs yesterday and most of them are rap songs and I don't even like rap. :3 Very ironic how the type of music I'm not even a fan of just became the type I can relate to and become addicted to lol.)