𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘋𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 «Zaylena»

28 ; Revised

A/N: Trigger Warning: family abuse.
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Star Dance
Chapter 28
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Selena's Point of View

WE GOT BACK to the apartment and Zayn was furious at me. The ride back to the complex was silent but I knew once we walked inside he was going to explode. I knew Zayn was jealous, and over jealous for his own good. Possessive, at times as well. However, for the greater good of what my relationship was going to be along side Jackie because I knew she wasn't going anywhere any time soon. I had to do it. I wanted to insert myself more in Zayn's life, know why specific people meant a lot to him, and why he hated others. He was opening up to me at his own pace but I wasn't there yet, not as I liked to be.
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I think the thing Zayn most feared was loosing me, although he never directly said it, it was always his clear in the way he spoke about me. He would rather swallow his emotions before saying anything, but I know it wasn't the case when he spoke with Jackie. I knew he told her everything, after all she knew him best. He needed to learn how to trust me because I could never look at Adam the way I looked at him. Who Adam was is what he presented, which wasn't the case with Zayn. He lured me in with his presence alone because I knew there was more to him than some shallow shell of a man people portrayed him to be.
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I walked into the kitchen, not saying a word and preparing myself a cup of tea for the night. Zayn on the other hand slammed the front door behind us and tossed his keys on the counter, not saying anything and passed me to go to the bedroom, followed by another door slam. I sighed, and thought of different scenarios on how I was going to explain this all to him.
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I took my cup of tea with me and walked my way down the corridor towards our bedroom, and I walked in slowly, hearing the sound of water, I realized he was taking a shower. I set my cup of tea down on the nightstand and I went to change out my clothes into a night gown. I stood at the vanity staring at myself through the mirror and sipped into my tea. Within minutes the shower head was turned off and realized how fast he had showered.
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I walked over to my bedside and sat on the edge, Zayn had walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair dripping wet from water. He stayed silent while I took time to admire how many tattoos he had all over his body. A walking canvas he was. I cleared my throat trying to break the lingering silence clearly present in the room.
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"You aren't going to say anything?" I said in a small voice enough for him to hear me.
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"If you already know what I'm going to say, what's the point?" He said running his fingers through his hair and looking into the vanity for something to wear.
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He quickly got changed and went towards the balcony, and opened the door to let the nights wind in. Not closing the slide door behind him the curtain blew in the air as he sat outside in one of the lawn chairs, bringing what looked like a cigarette up to his lips and blowing the smoke out into the air. I sighed and walked outside to the balcony and sat in the lawn chair across from him and the door, as I realized it wasn't a cigarette he was smoking but a rolled up blunt.
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"Talk to me please." I said from across the door as his focus was elsewhere but me.
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He sighed and nodded his head sideways. "Have you ever sat back and thought about anything I ever said regarding our relationship?" He says looking at me for a slight second and bringing the rolled stick to his mouth. "That maybe I am saying all of this for the sake of us both?" He motioned with his finger in the space between us. "That maybe this what's best for the best for both of us?"
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"Your idea's always involve me as far away from the outcome." I admit to him. "It benefits you always, it never benefits me." I argue.
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"Selena, I cannot control myself." He admits. "I will end up hurting someone, and I don't want to do that." He says.
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"Jackie sure seems to know how." I tell him, although the question may seem like I am jealous of her, when I am anything but. "That day when you nearly beat Adam to the core, Jackie stopped you somehow." I explain to him. "She looked at you and you stopped." I tell him. "Why can't you trust me?" I question.
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"I trust you. I do." He says. "But I don't trust him, you saw the fucking smile he had on his face when you agreed to do the kissing booth?" He points in the air as he takes the finished rolled paper and smashes it on the ground.
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"But I will never look at him the way he wants me too." I tell him. "I don't like him, I never have." I add pushing the strands of my hair away from my face. "I want you, I will always want you." I confess. "Adam is just my friend, perfectly clear to him it will never be more than that." I explain.
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"The old let's be friends so I can always be close to you and have it develop in something more." He scoffed and nodded his head sideways. "I heard that one before, gotta give it to the fucking mate, though." He chuckles.
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"I'm doing the kissing booth tomorrow whether you like it or not." I said standing up from the lawn chair.
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"Do what you want." He said not bothering to look up at me.