𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘋𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 «Zaylena»

45 ; Revised

Stars Dance
Chapter 45
-
Jackie's Point of View

IT WAS THURSDAY morning, and I was going to meet Adam up at the coffeehouse, so he could help me get an internship where his father worked. My nerves got the best of me and I wanted to back out last minute. Adam and I weren't an item and we would never be in my eyes but I was meeting his father for an interview. That enough was already intimidating. What if he judged me right off the bat? That alone was enough for him to decide that Adam and I should not be a thing at all. I got dressed in a pencil skirt, heels and a blazer and tried to look very professional.
-
My hands were getting sweating and I was battling with my own thoughts and feelings. I needed this, I really needed this spot because it would determine the reason I was even here in college, all this studying for my major to end up being nothing. I looked at myself in the mirror and applied a bit of clear lip gloss and ran my hands through my hair to fluff out my hair. I took a deep breath and grabbed my purse, keys and my phone.
-
It was about to be ten o' clock in the morning, and I made my way to the coffeehouse, hopefully it wasn't too busy even though I know it would be. It always was. Lots of thoughts ran through my head about yesterday with Zayn. I couldn't believe I let my guard down like that in front of him. Although I denied all my thoughts and feelings, Zayn was determine to figure out what was wrong with me, and he would not stop until he figured it out.
-
There was going to come a time where I could no longer suppress my feelings for Adam, and I don't know what Zayn would do if he found out. I know I should avoid all type of interaction with Adam, but I couldn't tell my heart what to do. Some times I just wanted to close off all of my feelings and never see him again. However, my heart did this thing every time I saw him.
-
I noticed Adam who was sitting at a table by the window and I hurried up and walked in. It was quiet, and I could hear the sound of my heels click with every step I took. Adam looked up from his phone and smiled, his eyes widen at the sight of me and he stood up. "You look...beautiful." He said as I approached the table and he pulled out the chair for me to sit down.
-
"Thank you." I smiled shyly.
-
"I ordered you coffee, if that's ok." He said pushing the cup closer to my end of the table. "I didn't know what kind you liked, so I got you the same as mine." He smiled.
-
"That's ok." I said. "I'll enjoy it either way, although I prefer tea." I admitted.
-
His eyes widen and he eyed the cup. "Oh, would you like-...I can go order you tea." He said taking the cup in his grasp and standing up from the table.
-
I smiled. "No it's fine sit down." I said pushing the chair with my foot.
-
He said nothing and sat down putting the cup on the table and cleared his throat. "Alright then." He said. "So are you ready?" He struck up a conversation.
-
"Adam I want to throw the fuck up." I whispered harshly, palming my face with my hands. "I'm starting to think this isn't such a great idea." I admitted.
-
He took my hands away from my face and held them in his, I looked down at our fingers tangled together then glanced up at him, and there went that voltage of electricity that just coursed throw my veins. "Hey, hey. Everything will be alright." He comforted. "My dad is nice, if that gives you a piece of mind." He smiles.
-
I took a deep breath and I removed my hands from his hold and set them in my lap. "No Adam it doesn't." I admitted. "It's your dad and I don't even know what to call what's happening between you and I." I admitted. "You've kissed me more times than I can count." I said.
-
"I won't do it anymore if you don't want me too." He nodded his head side to side. "I respect any decision you make." He smiled.
-
That right there is when I realized that all my teenaged and adult life I have dated the wrong kind of men. Adam did have his moments where he couldn't contain himself and he would randomly kiss me but he was a guy who had all this discovered emotions for a girl literally had nothing special to give him and he wanted to win her over any way he could. Adam's father must have been the perfect role model, because I have never met anyone like him.
-
Maybe Adam was in love with the idea of me, and if I let him in he could see that I was truly nothing special and maybe a little over the top for his tastes. I was out of his league, I thought to myself. There was no way Adam could have fallen hard for some loud-mouth and stubborn girl with dead parents? In what mind did that sound right? Adam was clean cut, probably from a rich family, who looked like he was sent off to boarding school because he was too good for a public school, where as I was not even from a middle class family, who had parents that practically hated that she was ever born, and sometimes had to go days on end without any heat source in her house because her parents were more interested in their addictions. My life was truly a joke.
-
"Jackie I just want you to be comfortable around me." He smiled. "Enough that you're willing to give us a chance." He admitted. I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I already talked with Selena and Zayn-..." He trailed off.
-
"You what? "I questioned. "What the hell did you say to them?" I exclaimed.
-
"Nothing." He lifted his shoulders. "I am not stupid, I wouldn't have opened my mouth on purpose to make things complicated for you." He explained. "I just made it known to the both of them that I was no longer interested in Selena." He said.
-
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, I couldn't really blame him for any loose ends though. I too did the stupid thing of put my feelings out there that Zayn was now on edge about any move that I made. "'I can't even be angry with you, Zayn is this close" I measure with my fingertips. "to finding out everything." I admit.
-
"Jackie then why don't you just tell him one and for all?" He questioned.
-
I chuckled. "You really think I'm going to let myself be seen around with a guy like-..." I said carelessly, but when I noticed the look in his eyes had went from interested in what I had said to sadden, I realized that I sad the wrong thing.
-
"I see what this is about." He said growing defensive. "Jackie I didn't take you for that type of girl, but now I understand it all."
-
I sighed annoyingly and clicked my tongue, pushing my hair back with my fingertips in a frustrated manner. "No Adam it's not that-...please listen to me." I reached for his hand but he snatched it away.
-
"I might not be like the kind of guys you date." He said angrily. "But I have a lot to offer you, if you would just let me, but I see that it will never be enough for you." He exclaimed. "You want to be friends? Fine." He stated. "I will be your friend, I did this to get you an opportunity at your dream job, do you even want to go to this stupid interview anymore?" He said.
-
"Adam I'm sorry" I said honestly. "but there are things about me that I need to fix before I can venture out and become romantically involved with anyone." I explained to him. "You may see me as this perfect person, but I am not." I nodded my head side to side. "I dislike who I am when I am around you because I cannot truly be myself." I admit.
-
"I don't know what you are going through." He admits. "But I am with you every step of the way." He says and I smile. "Ready for that interview?" He questions looking at his phone screen at the time.
-
I nod my head. "It's now or never I guess." I lifted my shoulders carelessly.
***
Adam and I got up from the table as walked through the coffeehouse and out the front doors. He was taller than me and carried himself pretty well, he walked with his head high proudly, I wasn't short in height beside him but I did have to look up at him once in a while to talk to him.
-
He guided me to his car, and realized what a nice car he drove, I didn't say anything and walked ahead to catch up to his speed. I nearly stumbled on my heels and stopped on my tracks when I spotted Chris walking in the direction of the coffeehouse. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." I mumbled under my breath, we weren't exactly friends, but he was at every frat party I had ever been to.
-
"What's wrong?" Adam caught notice and questioned why I had become tense so sudden.
-
"Jackie!" I heard my name being called behind me.
-
I peered my eyes into Adam and mouthed to him to stay where he was, and hopefully he got the message. I turned around to face Chris in the direction he had called my attention in. "Chris..." I trailed off.
-
"Well, well, don't you clean up nicely." He said approaching me, and eyeing me from top to bottom.
-
"What do you want?" I said coldly. "I'm kind of in a hurry, I need to be somewhere right now."
-
"Woah hey" He said with his arms up in defense. "Can't a friend just ask a friend?" He laughed.
-
"Just because we see each other at frat parties, doesn't exactly make us friends." I admitted.
-
He frowned at the defensiveness in my voice. "Why the attitude? I've never done anything to you" He says, but chuckles in the process. "I see what this is, does Zayn not allow you to talk to me?"
-
"Zayn doesn't tell me what to do, but that doesn't mean I have to like you either." I defended. "You've done nothing but gaslight Zayn every chance you get." I said. "I don't know what your deal is between you two since the day at your town house where I had to practically stop him from killing you, but you better leave him alone. I mean it Christopher." I threatened.
-
He laughs. "What does Zayn give you girls that makes all of you want to defend him right off the bat?" He questions. "You have had to sleep with him, to get such a privilege." He taunts.
-
I get all in his face. "That shit is none of your business." I defend.
-
"Jackie are you alright?" I hear Adam's voice behind me and my eyes widen. I turn around to see he's standing there firmly with his hands crossed over his chest.
-
Chris takes notice and laughs. "Oh I see what is going on here" He looked at me then over at Adam. "You seriously couldn't be more of a slut." He said.
-
Adam approached me at Chris's words ready to fight in my aid, but not before my hand rose in the air and I slapped him across the face. "Jackie lets go." Adam pulled me back by my arm. "Jackie-..." He repeated but I was way too focused on Chris who laughed devilishly, at the slap in the face that I just gave him. I shrugged Adam off of me and approached Chris.
-
"You wish you had got me into your bed a long time ago." I smirked proudly. "Instead you got Lucy." I laughed. "It truly doesn't get any sadder than that." I nod my head side to side.
-
"Who told you?" He argued, and I could feel Adam pulling on my arm, telling us to go.
-
"Who else?" I smirked. "After all, didn't you say sluts sleep around? Word travels fast." I said proudly owning what I have been called nearly all my teenaged life, before walking away with Adam towards his car, and heading towards that interview, which I hoped we weren't late for.
***
The car ride to the heart of London was silent as Adam focused on driving us there. I leaned against the window while the radio played some music softly in the background. We sat nearly ten minutes in morning traffic, neither Adam and I had said a word. "Who was that guy back there?" He broke the ice of silence.
-
"Everyone's fucking nightmare." I said. "Including mine."
-
"Ex-boyfriend?" He questioned.
-
"That piece of shit, wished." I laughed. "He's just some guy Zayn's has had problems with for some time now." I admit. "They can't stand each other, and I can't stand him, I've lost count of how many times he's provoked Zayn intentionally, and how many times I had to stop him from killing him." I explain. "He really tried it now though."
-
"I'm sorry his problems have become yours." He says. "It shouldn't have to be that way, let Zayn deal with his own issues."
-
I look over at him weirdly. "And when he finds you and beats you to a pulp like he tried to when you nearly attached your mouth to Selena's, should I mind my own business then too?" I said annoyingly.
-
"Jaqueline, I am not afraid of Zayn." He confessed. "Nothing that has to do with his little threats, insults or overall dislike for me." He lifts his shoulders carelessly.
-
I roll my eyes. "Yeah whatever." I say not really bothering to touch the subject anymore.
***
We arrived in the heart of London, and I looked up at the tall building that went up all the way nearly into the clouds. Adam showed his badge to the security and he tipped his hat and let him through. He hurried on and parked the car in one of the yellow painted slots on the ground and we both got out simultaneously. I grew nervous by the second, and I looked around and saw all kinds of people walking on the grounds of what was this massive corporation.
-
His father was the COO of all of this? I followed Adam as I held onto the strap of my purse and glanced around at the business bodies that walked in and out of the towered building. Adam pulled the door open for me and I walked inside, the place was huge, it had security sensors, which Adam put his badge up to and the small waist height doors opened.
-
"You dad owns all of this?" I question as we reached the elevators and he pressed the up arrow on the wall.
-
He nodded his head. "Yes he does." He smiled at my curiosity. "He has this one which he used to work for but became the COO of and one in states." He said and my eyebrows rose at such the statement.
-
He elevator doors opened and we stepped inside, he clicked a floor number and we waited until the doors closed when the elevator began moving. "And you're an only child?" I questioned.
-
"I am." He said.
-
"Don't you have your life set." I scoffed and glanced a the rising of the floors in red light, he didn't say anything and smiled.
-
It was in a matter of seconds in which the elevator doors opened to a much quieter scene. He motioned that I step out first and I did, not moving anywhere until he followed right after me and guided us where I needed to go for this interview. We reached a woman who sat behind a desk, and smiled up at Adam as soon as he appeared. "Good morning, Olivia." He said to the woman. "Would you notify my dad that I am here?" He said.
-
"Right away." She said and picked up the phone on her desk.
-
Adam and I went and sat in the waiting area, and I was made of only nerves that felt like they could burst of my fingertips at this very moment. "I think she has a crush on you." I whispered over to Adam while I glanced over at the secretary who talked on the phone with Zayn's father.
-
"Olivia?" He whispered back "No way." He nodded his head side to side.
-
"Please with that cheesy smile on her face not mention how she said right away." I mocked her voice in whisper. "She practically can't wait to see you here on your scheduled days." I rolled my eyes.
-
"Mr. McNamara your father is in a meeting he will be right with you." The woman who I now know to be Olivia call for Adam's attention and he lifts his head in her direction.
-
"Thanks Olivia." He smiled, disgusting.
-
"Jackie are you jealous?" He teased.
-
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Please." I lied.
-
Truthfully, now that we were in a whole new atmosphere in which was no longer the campus, I did notice how much more attention Adam got outside the walls of the school. Adam had female friends and sometimes I would notice him around campus with his little group of study friends. He even offered tutoring for classes he excelled in and there was no doubt in my mind that he had girls signing up just to spend one hour study sessions with.
-
Even though I was still battling what I felt about Adam, I had to step up my game if I didn't want anyone around here if I got this internship to take is attention away from. So far and from what he was told me countless of times, he had all his attention on me and he was willing to be patient while I sorted my shit out. However, that could all change starting with little Ms. Secretary over there.
-
"Mr. McNamara, your father is ready to see you." She called for his attention once again.
-
He stood up and I stood after his, the door to his fathers office was right six steps away but to my nerves that circulated in my legs, that left like a journey. "Would you like me to go with you?" He said.
-
"Please." I said carelessly.
-
"You have nothing to worry about he is a nice man." Adam smiled. Just relax and be yourself."
-
I followed beside him and he knocked on the door while he reached for the doorknob and began to twist it open. "Dad, here's the girl who is interested in that internship." Adam announced.
-
"Alrighty, then I am looking forward to interviewing her." He said, and I grew curious at the tone of his voice. "Come in please sit." Adam's dad said.
-
When Adam stepped aside to let me through for the interview and I finally came face to face with the man he called his dad, my eye's widen with disbelief of who stood in front of me. Realizing that I was going to be caught in the middle of two opposing sides, two late for me to turn around. I was either going to have to choose with my head or my heart, from this point forward.
***