𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘋𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 «Zaylena»

76 ; Revised

Stars Dance
Chapter 76
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Jackie's Point of View

I HAD GOTTEN up early from Zayn and Selena's sofa and told Levi to meet me near the dorms. It was nearly the weekend, and I wasn't planning to stay indoors crying and drowning in my tears. I was going back to being the old Jackie, the one who sat at frat parties, watching, dancing sometimes, and sucking dudes off in bathrooms.
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"It's 9:30am Jacks, are you fucking with me right now?" Levi yawned as he followed behind me down the halls of the dorms.
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"Hey early bird gets the worm, or whatever they fucking say." I admit I truly didn't know.
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"We could've done this at lunch time." He admitted.
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"That's not an option, he'll be around I know it." I said eyeing around the halls before reaching my door and taking my keys to the keyhole.
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"Ok now you're talking about him like he's some kind of creep." Levi admitted, as I pushed the door open into my dorm room. "I can't believe he's fucking engaged? I mean you think you know someone—" He scoffs plopping down on my sofa.
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"Have you told your mom you're not a poli-sci major?" I question him curious for an update as I skimmed through my drawers for clothes. Trying to distract myself from my own problems.
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"Fuck no." He laughs.
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"How long do you plan on keeping it from her?" I ask.
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"Forever." He speaks. "If possible until they announce my name and major as I walk the stage."
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"You're not serious? What's the worst thing that could happen?" I continue conversation. "If you just tell her."
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"You don't really know my mum, to the whole world she's this great woman and don't get me wrong she is, but she'll pull the plug on tuition-...everything, I'll be left in the dust." He explains. "I mean seriously do I look like the kind of guy that could hold any type of political debate?"
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"Oh yes those Hawaiian shirts are really gonna show them." I joke. "She's an influential person, if you don't tell her she's gonna find out through someone working at this university." I try and warn him. "What if one day she's making conversation with a professor, and she mentions your name and they hit her with he's never even been in my class." I set a scenario. "Then what are you going to do?" I propose.
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"Let's hope you're wrong and that never happens." He points at me.
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"Yeah, for your sake." I laugh.
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I scan the room around one last time to see if I have everything that I came for. Stuffing everything in a duffle bag I throw it over my shoulder. "You know, you can't hide from him forever." Levi disrupts my concentration.
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"I can and I will." I defend. "Looks like I have everything I need, come on let's go." I tell him, he nods his head and follows me towards the door of the dorm.
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I open the door and my eyes widen when I notice Adam with his fist in the air about to knock on the door, not getting a chance to since I opened the door before he had the chance too. "Wow, it's like I'm somehow always right." Levi breaks the silence.
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"Jackie." Adam says above a whisper.
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"Something tells me I gotta leave you two alone." Levi says walking past me, and Adam who scoots to the side letting him through. "I'll be in the car; god knows miracles don't happen twice and if I get caught in here...I'm not taking that chance." He speaks. "Later." He waves at me.
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"Levi!" I exclaim in annoyance.
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Levi had disappeared down the hallway, and I was left alone with Adam. The silence and tension could be cut with a knife. I took in a deep breath, and I ran my fingers through my hair, dropping my duffle bag on the floor. "Can I come in?" He said from outside the door.
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I rolled my eyes and motioned him to come in, he closed the door behind him. "Where's your fiancé, Annalise? Anna for short, is it?" I mention.
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"Selena told you." He speaks.
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"Was she just supposed to keep this to herself or something?" I bite back. "You have a lot of nerve showing up here you know that, how can you even look at me in the face?"
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"I came here yesterday and the day before that, and even after that morning after the incident with my mom, and none of those times were you here." He explains. "I figured you were going to do everything in your power to avoid me, and this time I happened to get lucky." He explains.
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"You sound like a fucking maniac." I roll my eyes.
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"You didn't give me much of a choice Jackie, and I doubt Zayn would let me step foot into his apartment after what I did to you, I'm surprised he didn't come charging at me with knife." He speaks.
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"Get it through your head that you and I are done." I tell him once again. "There isn't an Adam and Jackie anymore, I don't think there ever was." I explain.
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"Jackie don't say that." He moves his head side to side. "My feelings were with you one hundred percent of the time, and I know deep down despite all the anger you feel towards me right now, you know that." He says trying to suppress his tears.
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"How the hell can you say that to me right now, when there's a girl somewhere in a hotel room waking up thinking that she's going to marry you any day now!" I exclaim. "Worst part of all of this is you judged Zayn so fucking hard trying to get with Selena, when you're no better than him!" I spoke. "You were trying to get with Selena while you were still engaged to that girl, and when you couldn't, you settled for me." I say above a whisper. "You never loved me, you don't hurt people you fucking love, especially like this." I move my head side to side; I knew I was crying when I could no longer hold back my tears and my voice became shaky.
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"That's not true Jackie!" He says frustrated.
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I chuckled trying to find some humor in this horrible situation. "Like...when you were you planning to tell me?" I question. "You weren't, you were going to let all of this blow over, somehow." I push my strands of hair back away from my face. "Insisting and insisting on the idea of marriage until I said yes, so your mother would have no other choice but to accept me." I lay out his plan.
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He took in a deep breath trying to hold back his tears and bring his voice back to a normal tone. "I tried, I tried many but many times, but you are who you are, and I knew getting you to understand was going to be impossible." He explained.
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"The worst part of all of this is that you are waiting until I finally fucked you, for all of this to blow up in your face, because yes I fucked you." I remind him. "So, like all men, if you want to run around telling everyone that you fucked Jacqueline Jacobs, no she fucked you." I express. "Because before me, you didn't even have a fucking clue."
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He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Ok, what do you want me to do? I'll do whatever you want me to do, you have me and a cliché as this sounds, you have me...have me at your goddamn mercy, because you a managed to wrap me around your finger in the most intoxicating way, not having you near me is killing me, and loosing you is not an option." He practically pleads in desperation.
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"Nothing." I say one word. "I want you to do absolutely nothing." I say taking a deep breath. "I release you Adam, I'm releasing you from this spell I supposedly have you under. You don't owe me anything, not even an apology." I shrug my shoulders. "I've never had to beg for a man to stay with me, because they're the ones begging me." I explain. "Because at the end of the day, you're a man." I shrug carelessly. "What are you doing now? You're begging me to stay." I mic drop.
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"You have to let me explain this all has an explanation." He cries.
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I chuckle. "I'm not one's second choice." I tell him. "I will find a man that loves me, worships me the ground I walk on-"
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"That man is me!" He exclaims. "It's me, Jackie, I love you, I loved you from the first moment your lips touched mine, I knew I was locked in with you forever. I'm yours forever." He pleads.
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"You're not." I shut him down. "But I will find him, he's out there somewhere." I smile proudly. "I hope it hurts you, I hope it hurts you bad, when you see me smiling with him and it's not you, although I know none of it will hurt you nearly as bad as all of this hurt me." I explain.
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"You're hurting me right now." He whispers.
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I take in a deep breath and wipe my tears. "I will walk out of this door, single." I tell him. "Forget we were even a thing." I express further. "You and I never happened. Ever." I add. "Live a good life with Annalise, don't hurt her the way you did me, I can't even hate her." I admit. "Poor girl has no idea." I say lifting my shoulders carelessly. "Hey but at least her honeymoon will be magical thanks to me." I smile proudly and take my duffle bag from the ground and put it over my shoulder, I push past him disappearing down the hallway.
***
Selena's Point of View