𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘋𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 «Zaylena»

49 ; Revised

Zayn's Point of View

I HAD BECOME frozen in time, not knowing what to do or say. I had completely forgot when I had put that stupid necklace, and even worst I didn't toss it out for good or at least put it some where only I knew. I knew this day would come sooner or later. I had thought in my head countless of ways on how to explain to Selena everything.
-
I admit myself a coward because I didn't have the heart to tell her that I once upon a time in my damned life, I loved Lucy. I was afraid of rejection, afraid that Selena wouldn't understand where I was coming from, and worst of all afraid that she would leave me for good, if she knew the whole truth. I couldn't live without her if she decided to. Selena has become everything to me and much more now.
-
Back then I didn't care or had nothing else to loose because I was somewhere in my life that, I didn't think was worth it and didn't care for the people that got hurt on the other end. Now here I was with a person who saw past everything ever said about me and took a risk to even love me.
-
I picked up the necklace in my hand, as the cool metal touched my fingertips. Remembering giving it to Lucy for the first time. We had grown serious then, and I just wanted her to know how much I truly did love her.
-
I decided to take Lucy to a fancy restaurant that I was going to pay a pretty good penny for. I wanted her to feel special, because she deserved it. It's been a little over a year since we've dated and things had gotten serious between us. She smiled at me as we sat across each other. I took my hand in hers and she smiled.
-
"You didn't have to do all of this for me." She said shyly. "I would've been happy with just a movie date, alone with you." She smiled leaning her chin on her hand propped on the table.
-
"I know, I know." I admitted. "But I wanted to take you somewhere special." I admitted. "I don't know if I should give this to you now or wait for a bit more-..." I rambled on.
-
She grew curious. "What?" She encouraged. "Zayn what is it?" She pressed.
-
I sighed taking the small velvet box from my jeans pocket. Her eyes darted towards my hands as I set the box on the table. "It took me months of saving up but it was well worth it for you." I smiled.
-
"Zayn." She smiled. "Seriously you didn't have to." She nodded her head side to side.
-
"Open it Please." I insisted and pushed the box towards her.
-
She smiled at me and took the box in her hand, and her eyes widen when she opened it. "Oh it's beautiful." She smiled taking the heart shaped gold necklace in her fingertips.
-
"I even went as far as to engrave it so you always know how much you mean to me." I admitted.
-
She looked at me for a brief second then back at the necklace turning it over to the backside. "Always in my heart, Cindy." The words fell swiftly off her lips.
-
"I didn't know whether to use your real name or Lucy." I admitted. "I debated in the end and decided to go with your real name, I hope it's ok." I confessed.
-
"Zayn i love it, it's beautiful." She smiled. "I love you."
-
"I love you." I said back.
-
If I had known Lucy and I's relationship was going to go down south real fast I would have never ever in my life had given her that necklace. Now because of this stupid necklace, my relationship with Selena was on the line.
-
I had no words to explain myself because I didn't know how much Selena knew now about Lucy and I's past. She did approach her at the frat party but in the end did she really tell her? I looked down at the necklace then up at Selena who was a broken mess in tears. Her makeup smudged on her face making her look like she hadn't slept in days, and not only that, she was drunk.
-
"Selena..." I whispered trying to approach her calmly.
-
"No, no, no." She opposes taking steps back. "Get the fuck away from me." She held her hand up.
-
"Selena please let me explain. Please." I begged to have her hear me out.
-
"Explain to me what? There's nothing to explain!" She exclaimed. "You're nothing but a fucking liar!" She shouted. "Who knows how long you've had that." She cries looking at the necklace in my hand.
-
I tossed the necklace on the wooden floor. "Selena that means nothing to me, I need you to know what I love you." I reasoned with her. "I need you to understand that I love you, and there is no one else in my life, it's you, it's only been you."
-
"That's the problem Zayn." She said angrily. "How the hell do I know that? Since we've started dating, I have done nothing but be honest with you, I took you home to meet my mother for fucking sakes, I told you about my ex-boyfriend!" She exclaimed. "You met him! You met my mother, my little sister, everyone Zayn!" She adds. "What about you? Truthfully in the end I know nothing about you!"
-
"You know about the kind of relationship I have with my father, it's estranged. If you want one day I'll take you to meet my mum and sisters, but please don't leave me-..." I said desperately.
-
She scoffed and laughed breathlessly. "How can you say something like that to me right now? Don't leave you Zayn?" She says angrily. "Is that all you can fucking say to me?" She exclaimed. "Don't leave you?" She repeats. "You know what? Maybe Lucy was right about you." She begins.
-
I grow panicked in a sense that this was it, Lucy had said everything to her. I was done for, she has believed her before hearing me out. I was going to loose her forever. "Selena I can explain explain everything to you-..." I began stumbling on my words. "Just please hear me out first before you take her side, please." I begged.
-
She frowned at my choice of words. "All those times she would tell me to stay away from you, I should've listen to her." She says. "I turned a blind eye to everything everyone ever said about you, because I wanted to trust you but you can't even tell me the truth!" She exclaims. When I realized she was talking about Lucy's insistence of keeping me away from Selena overall and not the whole truth about her and I, relief set through my body and realizing I still have a fighting chance. "I've waited patiently for months for you to open up to me, but you and I will never truly find peace within our relationship if you don't tell me everything." She points out. "I respected your space and your feelings but there will always be that lingering cloud over your head."
-
"Selena you have to trust me please." I whispered reaching for her hand and holding it in mine. "Please." I kissed her fingertips. "This isn't easy for me." I nodded my head side to side.
-
She pulled herself out of my grasp. "Who is she Zayn?" She questioned. "Why do you have that necklace? Who's Cindy?" She questioned. "Is she that girl you were telling me about in LA?" She points towards the door looking at me for answers.
-
"Selena...." I trailed off not knowing if I should answer to any of her questions now.
-
"Answer me." She insisted. "Is she the girl you were telling me about in LA?"
-
"Selena I can't...." I whispered.
-
"Then I can't be with you." She said nodding her head side to side walking off towards our room and slamming the door behind her, leaving me to stand alone in the middle of the living room.
***
I wouldn't have any peace of mind if I didn't figure out what Lucy told Selena at the frat party earlier tonight. I need to know, because if not it would linger in my mind at every second of the day until I decided I was ready to tell Selena everything.
-
I grabbed the necklace from the floor and made sure I had my house and car keys in my pocket as I made my way out of the flat and towards the frat house. It hadn't been long since Selena and I left, and I know if Lucy had been around Chris all night she would be there.
***
I arrived in a matter of minutes and parked in the lot. The frat party was still in full swirl and hurried myself inside, the party had no stopped since the time I had been gone. The music still blared loudly with light shooting in all directions. As the house had been full with people since I left bar arrived.
-
I looked everywhere for Lucy, looked through the crowd and the people scattered around the frat. Pushing through the dance floor all the way towards the the sofa where I sat with Levi next to the drinking table. I didn't see Chris or Lucy but Levi was quick to spot me and gave me a confused look, walking over to me.
-
"Where did you go?" He questioned, with two cups in his hand. "You left your cup." He said handing it to me, I looked at the cup, noticing that I left the cherry vodka untouched, in a time like this I could really use a drink.
-
I drank into the cup and chugged the juice down, leaving it empty. "Selena got pissed drunk and I had to take her home." I admitted. His eyes widen not saying anything. "Have you seen Lucy, I need to talk to her." I question Levi if he knew anything.
-
"They were dancing together when you left with Selena...." He said leaning his arm on my shoulder. "Ah there." He pointed.
-
I looked in the direction of where he was pointed and there she was with a Chris dancing against each other, I wasted no time in approaching her. With Levi calling for my attention over the music. "Zayn! Where are you going?" I heard him shout before pushing through the dancing crowd.
-
When I finally reached Lucy I pulled on her arm for her attention. "I need to talk to you!" I exclaimed.
-
She turned around confused, and Chris attention went towards me, holding his guard up while Lucy's eyes widen realizing it was me. "Zayn." She said. "Where's Selena? Shouldn't you be with her?" She said over the loud music.
-
I wasn't going to play into her games this time and brushed over her questions. "We need to talk." I repeated.
-
"Let her go." Chris intervienes.
-
"Seriously fuck off, I'm not talking to you." I looked past Lucy at Chris who stood eye to eye with me. "I'm talking to her." I said to him before turning my attention back to Lucy.
-
"It's alright." Lucy said pressing one of her hands on Chris' chest. "I'll be right back." She said to him.
-
She looked at me and I took her by her arm and pulled her through the crowd and guided her up the stairs towards the only place away from the music and atmosphere of the people, we could talk in peace. I unlocked the door of my dorm room and walked in, pulling Lucy inside and letting go to shut the door.
-
She winced. "You always had this rough touch to you I always liked." She laughed as I turned around to look at her. "You wanted to talk so talk." She lifted her shoulders carelessly.
-
"This all stops now, the mind games, the teasing, everything do you understand me?" I said angrily.
-
"May remind you that you approached me first?" She pointed at her chest innocently.
-
"Yes Lucy, but you haven't stopped terrorizing me since I've arrived on this campus." I remind her.
-
"Or maybe you haven't gotten over me." She said in a whisper approaching me pulling on my chain.
-
I grabbed her hand and pulled it away from me. "Selena knows about the stupid necklace, what did you say to her earlier tonight?" I question.
-
Her eyes widen slightly. "If she found it's because you didn't hide it as well as you thought." She smiled devilishly. "That's not my fault." She lifted her hands in defeat. "Maybe you should be more careful." She lifted her shoulders carelessly.
-
"Lucy I swear to fucking god-..." I said before suddenly getting dizzy with an ill taste in my mouth. "Shit." I whispered to myself and pinched the bridge of my nose.
-
"Zayn are you alright?" Lucy questioned me suddenly and my vision was starting to get fuzzy and blurry. She stood in front of me but I couldn't really see her.
-
"I'm fine." I said taking a couple steps forward towards my bed.
-
"No you don't look alright." I heard Lucy say. "Here let me help you." She said and felt her grab my arm and lead me towards my bed.
-
"Don't touch me..." I exclaimed, wailing my arms to her away from me, but all I saw was her shadow in front of me and she said nothing before my vision went completely black.
-
Selena's Point of View