𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘋𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 «Zaylena»

65 ; Revised

A/N: Not my best chapter, sorry but I've been MIA for a little over two months now, I'm sorry guys. Enjoy.
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Stars Dance
Chapter 65
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Adam's Point of View

IT WAS FRIDAY and while I wasn't due at my dad's office today I managed to find myself here either way. It had been a day since Jackie was gone and I felt like I was going mad. I would wake up in better spirits knowing I got to see her everyday, when she smiled at me as she approached me down the halls of this campus. In confidence and model exterior to outsiders.
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Now I just feel so empty inside, I lost her and I wasn't sure when she was going to comeback. If she was, I knew she would return along with Zayn and who knows how long that would be. It didn't take long for the guys at the frat to start picking on me, because I guess since everyone knew Jackie blew me off in front of the sorority house, now everyone on campus knew.
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I walked in through the double doors, of the skyscraper building, I gave a slight nod to the receptionist somewhat hinting at the fact that it was me. "Mr. McNamara, your father in a meeting right now." She said. I almost didn't listen because my father was a Malik, and for some strange reason I expected her to say Malik.
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"That's fine I can wait." I told her and headed towards the elevators. She said nothing else allowing me to continue, my path towards the highest floor of the building.
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Once stepping in and pressing the floor number, the elevator door opened on the designated floor. I walked out and headed down the hall. The couldn't wait, whoever my dad was having a meeting with. I believed this was more I important.
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I twisted the door knob open and I walked in. "Dad I need to talk to you." I said.
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His eyes widen, to my surprise he wasn't in meeting he was on the phone in a meeting. "Uhm my secretary will be in touch, yes thank you." He nodded his head. "My pleasure." He said before hanging up the desk phone in the slot next to keypad. "Hello son is something wrong?" He said.
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I shut the door behind me and I walked over to sit down in one of the office chairs he had in front of his desk. Bringing the strap of my satchel from my shoulder over my head and setting it in the seat beside him. "I need you to take me to Bradford." I didn't waist any time beating around the bush.
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His eyes widen. "Bradford?" He questioned.
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"Yes." I nodded my head. "I can't-...I wait days or even weeks on end wondering when she'll come back, I need to see her." I beg. "Please."
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My dad leaned back into his office chair letting out a sigh.  "Adam I know desperation is killing you but you have to give her some time." He explains. "She needs time and space." He explains.
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"Time and space is only going to make her realize that I was an asshole to her and I don't deserve her, because I was such a fucking dickhead and maybe she decides she doesn't want to be with me." I explain to him in a ramble. "The thing is I'm too selfish to let her go ok? I love her and I would've lost the best thing that happened to mad by letting her slipping through my fingers."
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"I've known Jaqueline since she and Zayn became friends." He explains. "She's had rough life, and she's always given more of herself to please people than taking time to herself. She needs this son, but I don't doubt for a second that she doesn't love you and much as you love her." He explains.
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"How do you love a girl who doesn't think she's good enough for you, when you think she's the most perfect thing in the world?" I speak my thoughts out loud.
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Selena's Point of View

It was Friday and I was preparing a small duffle bag, to take with me this weekend to Bradford. Levi said that Zayn's house was small and if I had no problem with it he offered to give me a room of my own in his house so that I didn't have to pay for a hotel room. I didn't want to impose on either sides with Zayn and his mother and sisters. I also didn't want Levi's mother to feel like I was leeching onto her son's generosity. I also didn't want to pay for a hotel room. After some long critical thinking I decided to take Levi up on his offer.
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I didn't know how I was going to act or even what to say when I showed up in Bradford. Should  I just surprise him? What if I did and he didn't want to see me? Zayn and I had been apart for so long and I still didn't have the will to talk to him over the phone. I had gone back to the intimidating nature that first surrounded me with I met Zayn for the first time.
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I felt like a shy middle school girl who was afraid to talk to her crush for the first time. That's what Zayn made me feel. Even when we were together, he had a mysterious attribute to him aside from what he was hiding from me. It was just who he was and sometimes I never knew what he was thinking.
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As much as I didn't want to, I knew that I did. I needed to talk to him before coming to Bradford to see him. I debated whether I should tell him I was going and just talk to him about us, to get a feeling of where he was mentally about us. Then that would give me the option to tell him that I was going to Bradford or not. Thinking back about the first time he invited me to come to Bradford with him, I wanted to believe that the offer still stood.
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I let the duffle bag on Jackie's bed, while I grabbed my cellphone and immediately went to my contact favorites. I put his name next to a red heart. I smiled and I clicked his name immediately sending me to line, which it kept on ringing. I was nervous, my leg shook onto top of the other and my breathing deepened. If this was any one else I couldn't bring myself to do what I am doing now. However, I loved him and I have never felt this way about any one the way the I felt for Zayn.
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"Hello?" He said. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing would come out, I was frozen. His voice was on the other end, and if I didn't say anything he would have hung up and I would've lost my chance. I don't think I could bring myself to call again. I was a nervous mess. "Selena." He trailed off.
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"Zayn..." I nearly choked on his own name. "Zayn hi." I said breathlessly. I felt like a damn school girl, my cheeks were getting flushed and hot. "Listen I-...I don't know-...I don't know why I called. I mean I know why I called but I just-...I understand if you don't want to speak to me, I get if you want your space and I respect that too, but I-...I just..." I palmed thy forehead in embarrassment, I wanted to dig a hole and throw myself in it out of embarrassment.
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"Slow down baby." He said and my heart nearly felt out of my chest. "It's alright, I just didn't expect you to ever call me, not after I basically screamed at you to leave me alone." He admits.
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"And you had every right too, the timing wasn't right. I was afraid that you were going to actual prison and maybe I was too clingy in the moment-..." I began to explain.
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"That doesn't justify it though, and I am sorry." He says. "Why did you call me? I know I don't deserve it." He admitted.
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"I needed...I needed to hear your voice." I admit holding my thumb to my lips. "Believe it or not, broken up and all, I miss you." I admit.
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"Baby, I've been gone nearly a day." He chuckles.
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"No Zayn, like I actually miss you.  I really fucking miss you because at least when you were here, you were around." I explained.
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"What's changed now? Even when I was around you didn't want to listen to anything I had to say." He shoots. "I don't blame you either, I should've told you everything from the beginning when we first met, even if you didn't believe me. You at least deserved to know." He explains.
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"I know, and I forgive you." I say though the line.
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"This is more to me than just being forgiven." He explains. "I've spent years running from my problems, I can't be that man for you Selena." He says. I frown. What did he mean by that? "I can't move forward knowing I hurt you like this, you can't love me Selena." He said. "I don't deserve it."
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Adam's Point of View