𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘋𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 «Zaylena»

55 ; Revised

Stars Dance
Chapter 55
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Zayn's Point of View

I WAS LOST for words, paralyzed not knowing what to do or say. I had let the door go and now I stood in a room where two men who were complete strangers to me, claiming to be father and son. I eyed them weirdly and began talking steps back away from both of them, I didn't like the situation I stood in right now. My whole life up until this point has been a complete lie, and everything my father claimed not to be anymore still was, he very much still was.
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James stood up from the chair he sat in behind the table, and fixed his suit, while I glanced over at Adam, who stared at me then back at his dad. My father took a deep breath for a second, before he began to speak. "I know this may come to a shock to both of you, Zayn this is what I had been trying to explain to you all those times I tried meeting up with you, but you never wanted to hear me out." He moved his head side to side.
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Adam looked disappointed in the man he probably looked at his hero. He seemed angry, and his eyes were watery, there was a lump in his throat that he would swallow over and over to keep him from crying. The same face of disappointment he has on his face is the same one I had towards the man who stood in front of me for ten long years.
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It brought me ease to know that someone else now felt my pain, my disappointment and my built up rage and anger I had towards this man. "Adam, I wanted to tell you for a very but very long time now." James continues his path of redemption. "I just-...I never knew how to break it to you." He explains. "I'm not the man you think I am." He moved his head side to side.
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My eyes widen at his words but I say nothing, surprised hearing those words coming from his mouth. What kind of image had he built up to face Adam everyday? With me his little theatrics had fell out a long time ago. I'm sure the way I viewed my father and the way Adam views his dad were two different realities. My was a complete dark one while his was one with sunlight fucking rainbows for all know, that now had a dark cloud tower over it.
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I didn't really know what to say to this, all the challenges my life has thrown at me have beaten me to the core that I have become numb to any new surprises my life threw at me. I glanced over at Adam who looked like he could explode any moment if my father continued to say another word. Whereas I didn't even know how to feel, around my father I never knew.
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"One of you, please say something." My father pleaded.
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I cleared my throat. "Well this is quite the family reunion." I chuckled, taking a seat in one of the conference chairs. "Well what can I say father, you definitely done it again. Doing what you do best James." I said. "Father of the year award goes to..."
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My father sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, and looked at me and my coping mannerisms to his fucked up baggage. He said nothing though and looked over Adam who stood there, not moving an inch since he found out I was his brother. "Adam please sit." He motioned to his precious son. "Let's talk about this." He offered.
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"Twenty one years of my life and not once did you think it was important to tell me I had a whole brother on the other side of the world?" Adam exclaimed in anger.
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Did he really think being related to me was probably the worst case scenario of his whole entire existence?
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"Adam I will be like that brother you never had but I'm sure always wanted." I mock the situation of this whole fiasco because anything my father did at this point could not surprise me any longer. Who knew how many other scattered children he had out there in the world. 
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"Zayn seriously this isn't funny." My father grew angry.
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Adam gave in and sat down in the chair beside me. "How else am I suppose to fucking react to this?" I questioned. "How do you seriously think he and I are suppose to take your fuck ups?" I question. "This is your doing, all of it." I exclaim. "You want us to throw you a congratulations you're owning up to your mistakes party? Do we pop the champagne, toss confetti? How James?" I was beginning to grow irritated.
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Adam said nothing and only moved his head side to side in disappointment. "You cheated on my mom for over twenty years? Are you serious right now dad?" He said.
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I scoff. "Oh no, no, you have this all wrong." I defended myself, at this point I think I stood like I'm defense in my mum, my sisters. "Explain to him what kind of dad" I air quote. "You were to me and my sisters...what kind of husband you were to my mum, all of it because I don't know what kind of fucking lies you've told him over the course of his life, but that is not how things went down, at all." I grow defensive as I point at Adam while I look at my father.
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"What?" Adam frown confused at my words.
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He clears his throat. "Adam...I" He says. "I met your mother, in one of my many trips to the U.S when I worked internationally, and we just fell in love." He explains.
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While he explained, this was also brand new information for me, my mum never told me how my father ended up slowly leaving us. To protect her children, she was the type of children to bottle up any feelings, if I meant my sisters and I didn't have to suffer. My father slowly began growing distant, and one day he never came back.
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"I was not a good person." He explains to Adam. "I was in a very troubled place in my life, I had an alcohol problem and I never took anything in my life seriously my marriage to his mum" He looked over at me, and then focused as Adam. "the care of my children..." He explained.
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"Marriage to his mom? Children?" Adam questioned.
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He nodded his head up and down. "You're mother and I are not officially married." He says. "Which is why I never officially gave you my last name, Malik." He said. "I'm legally still married to Zayn's mother, we are just separated." He admitted.
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Adam's eyes widen in disbelief and moves his eyes side to side, bringing his finger to his eyes and wiping his tears. "It's like you're my dad but I don't know you." He whispers. "How could lie to me like that, my whole life?"
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"Welcome to the club." I mumble under my breath.
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"And my mom is perfectly fine with this? With being a product of separating a family? A marriage?" Adam questions.
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"I kept it from your mother for ten years, but she was bound to find out, because business trips to England were the only trips I ever took, and your mother was growing sick of the traveling back and forth. " He was admitting everything right here. "Zayn's mum and...we weren't really clicking like we used to, our marriage was falling apart" He admitted. "It was a screaming match between her and I everyday, I was only creating a toxic environment for Zayn and his sisters." He explains. "And I fully acknowledge it now, I was not a good person, I blamed others for what were my sole mistakes and took it out on people they didn't deserve it." He explained.
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I feel a relief leaving my body knowing that he acknowledged his mistakes, that once he wasn't making my up shitty excuses for his behavior, for he put my mum, sisters and I through.
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"How did mom forgive you for something like that? How can you sit here and claim to be this perfect dad figure for me, and come to find out you were none of those things?" Adam said angrily.
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"Because we weren't planning on having a child." He admitted to his precious son and my eyes widen. "In the beginning your mother didn't know a thing, I was just some man coming from England, and didn't tell her anything, but when we had you, everything just fell into place for us." He said.
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"Yeah while you two were living in dad and son land, he picked up his shit and left my mum, sisters and I." I don't let a moment slip through my fingers. "Imagine a woman with four children to feed just waking up one day and her husband left her basically homeless with children to feed?" I painted the picture to Adam. "My childhood stopped at ten years old, while yours began."
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He moves his head side to side. "I don't understand-...how you say that and proceed to have three other children with his mom?" Adam pointed at me.
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"After your mother found out, we had a falling out." He explained. "She didn't want to see me knowing that I had a whole family and a wife on the other side of the world." He says. "I went back, because I thought you mother and I would never work, and I tried to fix things with his mum, even things if things weren't going right for me, I just thought if I just tried to get myself together and have a family, everything would be fine." He admits.
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"Is that why as soon you could you and my mom decided to put me in a private boarding school?" Adam questioned, and my eyes widen, having some dejavú and if I had this conversation before. "You only visited summers." Adam recalled.
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"Wait, wait, wait." I hold my finger in the air. "Is your mum's name Lauren?" I question, this was beginning to be too much of a coincidence. "Does she live in LA?"
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Adam frown at my words and nodded his head up and down slowly. "Yeah, Lauren McNamara. Why?"
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"Holy fuck." I breathlessly laugh. "This is a small world." I said covering my mouth.
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"Why do you say that?" Adam questions.
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"Because when I went on that trip with Selena to the states, in LA she introduced me to a woman who was friend's with her mum and her was named Lauren and she had a son that studied abroad and was in private school for most of his life because her dear husband" I cocked my head and squinted my eyes in the direction of my father. "convinced her that her son should be put in a boarding school."
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"You convinced my mom that it would be best if I went to a boarding school!?" Adam grew furious. "How could you...."
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"Adam your mother and I weren't not in a good place at the time and I didn't want you to see that." He moved his head side to side. "It was for your own good."
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I roll my eyes, because the way I saw it. Adam was the version of me he wished he did better with. Here was Adam this squeaky clean, well mannered guy, who got all the special privileges, went to the better schools and basically had a better home life, while I received the backend of everything, watching how my own life crumbled in front of my own two eyes.
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"But do you understand that I never saw you?" He exclaimed. "You only visited me in the summers when I got out of school, and I never saw you for the rest of the year, not one visit! Do you know how frustrating it was to be the only one in school without a dad to cheer me on in things I needed you there for!?" Adam said angrily.
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"Adam you have to understand-..." He sighed trying to speak.
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"No I don't have to understand anything!" He exclaimed. "Maybe you weren't with me, but you spend an entire ten years making his life a living hell?" Adam points at me. "He was a child dad!" He said angrily. "Here I sat thinking you were the perfect dad, and how proud I was to be called your son, but you're a liar, and he has every right to feel the way he does about you!" He exclaimed.
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Adam was angry and he was screaming at the man he called his father very loudly. For once, I think I saw Adam in a different light, maybe he and I shared a commonality of disliking my father the way we did, maybe Adam and I could get along, and I could stop seeing him as something I wished to be, when in reality he was just like me, some boy who was lied to and entangled into the lies of his dad.
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The pain we now felt together, must be different, because while I had to witness everything before my very own eyes, the fighting, the screaming, slamming of doors, my father coming home late from the pub passed out in the living room floor, had become numb to my fathers actions, because I figured this was what my life was. Adam was just now discovering everything, about my father the kind of man he truly was, and how he had lied to him for almost his whole life.
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"You weave what you sow." I admit my thoughts to my father. "You didn't think any of this through did you? Like you never do." I sigh in disappointment.
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"You are both angry with me and I know and acknowledge that." He said palming his chest. "You have every right to be, but I need you to both be ok with each other, because you are my sons, if you don't want to make peace with me, that is ok." He admits. "However I cannot allow you two to tear each other apart." He said.
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I roll my eyes. "I beat him up, because your son here took Jacqueline back to his home or whatever whole she was very intoxicated and who knows what he could've done to her." I explain the real reason why we are both even here. "You know Jaqueline, and you know how much she means to me, she's like a sister to me, and I am not going to let anyone take advantage of her." I defend.
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Adam pinches the bridge of his nose. "For the hundredth time Zayn, I am in love with her." He sighs. "And nothing happened, I couldn't take her back to the dorms because it was very but very late and I was not going to risk myself getting caught in the fire dormitories." He explained.
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I scoff. "Don't know who the hell you're kidding with that story, but it's not going to be me." I tell him.
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"Then why don't you ask Jaqueline herself? Oh right she's afraid you're going to judge her." Adam defended.
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"It's true." My father confirmed.
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"What?" I questioned.
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"You cannot be angry at Jaqueline for this, like you were when you found out that I was helping her with her college education." He promoted me.
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"Wait what?" Adam questions.
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My father sighed. "So there is no more confusion, Jackie is Zayn's very good friend, and after her parents passed I decided that I would help her with her college and education. I pay everything, her dorm, tuition, anything so may need. It is all covered by me." My father explains to Adam.
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"How long have you known Jackie?" Adam questions.
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"All my life." My father explains to his son. "I watched her and Zayn both grow up and she's like a fourth daughter to me." He says. "Obviously, how you both feel about me is very different how she may feel about me, so..." He trails off.
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"See? So now that you know practically everything back off!" I glance over at Adam. "Because Jackie and I whether you like me or not, brother and all, I will always have Jackie's back and she will have mine no matter what." I explain. He rolls his eyes. "You know you're perfect son here, was in love with my girlfriend?" I scoff.
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"After everything you did to her? You mean ex-girlfriend?" Adam bites back.
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I roll my eyes. "We're talking about you here, not me." I said.
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"What did you do Zayn?" My father questioned me.
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"He cheated on her with her best friend!" Adam exclaimed as he glanced at me and then looked at his dad.
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I rolled my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Oh you shut up, don't pull the innocent card here, you tried to take my ex-girlfriend from me!" I argue back. "He may be your perfect son but he is not what he seems!" I exclaim and point at him while I look at my father.
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"But that's over now, Selena is just my friend and I'm in love with-..." He defended.
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"Jackie I know!" I say annoyingly.
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"Is that why you both beat each other senseless? That I had to come in here and resolve this matter?" My father questions.
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"You didn't need to resolve anything for me." I fend for myself. "I would have gladly accepted my expulsion." I say carelessly. "But I know the grand and mighty James Malik is going use his power and influence to avoid that, isn't that right?" I say. "Besides he's been pissing me off since the moment I met him, he had the beating coming."
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Adam chuckles in disbelief. "I know my presence alone bothers, I did nothing to him but sit in a seat, and he has had it out for me since then!" Adam argues. "He is nothing but a selfish, arrogant person, who has no respect for anyone, he doesn't care about anyone but himself!" Adam argues.
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"He took my Selena on a date and tried to kiss her." Is all I say.
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"How was I suppose to know you two were a thing?" He defends.
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"You both have gone mad." My father says to both Adam and I. "You're fighting over one girl." He said holding his finger in the air.
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"We're." Adam corrects.
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"No you still are" He says. "I wouldn't be here if that wasn't the case." He says.
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"Give me a break, you've probably glad this happened because other wise you would have never had the balls to tell either of us the truth." I say. "It's ridiculous how you handle things." I say in disbelief.
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"Like I said I don't expect forgiveness for either of you." My father admits.
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"We'll even if you tried you were never going to get it from me anyway." I lift my shoulders carelessly. "We've talked and established this already." I say. "I'm sure your perfect son, probably thinks otherwise." I roll my eyes.
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"Actually no." Adam says which catches me by surprise. "I'm going to have to think about this, because I just discovered I was lied to my entire life, my dad is not who he says he was and come to find out I have a brother who hates me and three estranged sisters."
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I eye his weirdly. "Excuse me but they are my sisters, not yours." I defend.
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He glances over at me. "I am my dad's kid, you're my dad's kid, they are my dad's kids, I'm pretty sure that makes them my sisters." He tries and justifies.
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While it may be through he never had to watch how my sisters longed for the presence of my father. Doniya not only balanced her school life but also her work life, my parents argued so much that she was rarely ever home, which means I had to carry all that weight on my shoulders. Even then, I didn't take life serious, I would do anything to her out of the house as well, which is one of the reasons why my life ended up the way it did and my mum was fed up.
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Wailyha managed but she never said a thing, she was one of those kids that, saw how everything happened but never knew how to react to it. You'd always seen a smile on her face, and participated in school events to keep her mind off the mess that was her life back home. But I know, deep down inside she was a broken mess, with a father who never really acknowledged her.
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I think Safaa's has had it the worst out of the four of us, only one year after she was born, it when my father just took off and left. All she has of my father is some old ripped up pictures of him my mum gave her over the years. She would tell him that my father was her dad, and how great of man he was, that he loved her very much and still remembers her to this day. Which at the point that is what my sister believes, and as much as I know that isn't true, I didn't have the courage to burst my little sisters bubble.
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I couldn't stand seeing her in disappointment in disbelief, the way Adam day here in front of me, and he couldn't even look at man he called his dad. "Adam my father here" I said to him as I glanced over at my father. "May had sheltered you, in a very perfect life but you have no idea what it's life to have your childhood robbed from you so young that you had to grow up quickly because this man cared more about himself that just packed up one day and left." I exclaim. "Then wants to show up ten years later and act like nothing ever happened." I say. "So yeah they are my sisters and rightfully so, because I'm some way I had to raise them."
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"How is that any of my fault?" Adam questions. "I am much as a victim as you are." He points at his chest.
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"Alright Alright-..." May father interrupts. "I just want you both to get along that is all."
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I roll my eyes and sigh in annoyance. "You are asking for the impossible." I admit and Adam rolls his eyes in annoyance.
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"Can you at least co-exist? For the sake of it? I cannot keep coming here for any slight inconvenience that can be resolved by talking to each other."
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"I have no problem." Adam days. "But I need his to understand that he cannot control every aspect of Jackie's life." He says.
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I stand up from the chair I sat in for what seemed like forever. "Just stay away from me, and mind your own business, and keep mouth shut about the two of us being related." I warn him.
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He stand up after me. "You think I want people to know I'm related to you?" He chuckles.
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I scoff. "Please I would be doing your reputation a favor." I say and walk towards the door and walk out of the mess that unfolded, here today.
***