he ; yoonmin

Q&A

[ [ game show tune begins, studio audience applaud as host, the author, strides into the studio ] ]

thrussy: welcome to [ in the tune of bts' "DNA" ] Q-N-A! where you asked the questions, and the characters responded!

[ [ thrussy sits on her throne of royal blue velvet and mahogany with two empty white chairs to the side of her. she's dressed in a draping white robe-like gown, backlight splashing her in a warm halo-esque glow ] ]

thrussy: our first character is none other than the bootylicious park jimin!

[ [ black show curtains to the side of the studio open up and the spotlights land on a confused park jimin ] ]

[ [ jimin is shoved forward to walk out onto the platform and towards thrussy's throne, sitting awkwardly in the seat furthest from her ] ]

thrussy: hello, busan demon, and welcome to your exposé

jimin: busan what—

thrussy: the people have questions, and you have answers.

jimin: who are "the people"? what is this place?

[ [ audience laughs at jimin's humor ] ]

jimin: i thought i was sleeping in my bed—

[ [ thrussy claps, ignoring big booty jimmy ] ]

thrussy: here is one of the frequently asked questions, [ pulls out cheap index card ] who do you think your stalker is?

jimin: well i never really thought of it, i don't know who would go to such lengths to.. get my attention.

thrussy: sasaengs.

jimin: whom?

thrussy: moving on.

[ [ thrussy snickers to herself, we love speaking indirectly of bts songs ] ]

thrussy: the people want to know, jimin, why are you so cute and small?

jimin: y'all ain't seen my dick yet.

[ [ jimin hip thrusts up into the air from where he sat. the audience goes wild, thrussy feigns disgust,, but she's smashing later ] ]

thrussy: so jimmy [ creepy smile ] how's taemin?

jimin: [ squirms in his seat, eyes flicking towards the main camera ] i haven't spoken to him since i moved. i think he's okay though.

thrussy: and why won't you talk to yoongi anymore about what's been happening?

jimin: okay wendy williams, if you wanna know so bad [ annoyed huff, his cute cheeks puff out ].. i don't want to trouble him anymore. i might tell him, but if i don't it's because i'm protecting him.

thrussy: that's how dumb bitches die.

[ [ thrussy reorganizes her dollar store index cards, upset with being called wendy williams ] ]