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This chapter is dedicated to @xanonymousxc . Thank you for helping me choose the song! 

This next one is called <Ego>. I still haven't decided how many people should sing it. I don't know if two or three.

I had already created the instrumental a few months ago, but it wasn't until after the <小半> stage that I created the lyrics. I wanted to make a confident song that I could listen to whenever I feel a little under the weather.

"Hold on!" Said Jackson and turned towards me. "How on earth am I famous and you aren't? How on earth was Papillon a hit but this is a hidden treasure? I may as well retire as a lyricist after this! Maybe I should just stick to Got7!"

I then hit his arm playfully and thanked him. To know my work had his approval meant the world to me. He was my mentor after all. My role model.

Okay, so, this one is actually one of the newest-ish ones. The other day I was with Lay dancing and Donghai called me, so this song played as it is my ringtone. We have already made up a dance for it even.

I was wondering if you could help me with the lyrics as I think they could do with a little rearrangement and some changes.

"Sure, let's hear it!" He said and I played it.

"I honestly don't know what to change. I think they are really good like they are. Send me the lyrics, though, and I'll try to see if I come up with something." He told me and I thanked him. "This, once again, is different from the others. That's really important for a musician. That way you are not stuck in a certain style, a certain genre. You can freely explore music. I find your use of more traditional sounds really clever. It is really nice!"

Now, we change to Korean because why not.

This song, I'm not going to lie, I wrote it after the fight with Chengcheng. It's completely different from the other ones as you will see.

"This is beautiful, Lin." He told me in a soft voice which clashed with the enthusiasm he had shown for the other songs. "You can really see how you've poured your heart and soul into it. I really hope you can release it one day, honestly."

Now, on a happier note, we have this unfinished one. I like it but I don't really think I want it, so I don't know what to do.


"You should try to sell it!" He told me excited. "I don't really think it matches anyone from my company, but you could try to ask Yixing and see if SM would want it!"

I will, thank you.

"How did you come up with it?" He then asked me.

I actually came up with the lyrics one night in which I couldn't sleep due to the street sounds. The car horns were driving me mad.

"You sure get inspired by strange things." He said and laughed. "Let's hear the next one, shall we?"

I really want this one to be sung by boys, I don't know why. I also think I'm going to sell it.

"Please, let me talk to JYP." Jackson told me. "I could totally see Day6 doing this one."

Okay, do it. I'll send you the song later so that you can show it to him.

"Alright!" He said. "I'm going to Korea tomorrow, so I'll show it to him then and tell you what happens."

Thank you!

"No problem." He said and ruffled my hair. "I get you wrote this one after your fight too. The lyrics seem very fitting."

You caught me. 哈哈哈 (Hahaha)

I then closed the folder where I had all of the songs stored and went to put the laptop away, but Jackson stopped me and took the laptop from me.

"What was that?" He asked searching for the folder.

What was what?

"I saw another song in there!" He asked and finally found the folder. "<It's okay>? What is this?"

It was the one I was working on just a few minutes ago. I just began doing it, so it's not even a draft.

"I still want to hear it!" He said. "I want to listen to all you've got!"

Sighing, I played the song. I was really emotional about this song as I thought about all the trainees that were or had been in the program. It was dedicated to them, so I really wanted it to be perfect.

"Lin, please, finish this before the program ends." Jackson asked me with pleading eyes. "If you need help with the lyrics, I will help you, but I really want you to be able to sing this before the program ends."

Only if I can sing it with the rest of the boys.

"Your song, your rules, but you already have the talent to debut as a solo artist and I don't want all of your talent to be hidden. If after showing one of your masterpieces you lose, then it's alright. But I don't want to know you've lost when you have this beautiful, powerful and amazing songs stored on your laptop." He told me and embraced me in a hug. "You make me so proud, Lin. I'm so glad I got to see you again after so many years. I'm so glad you've grown up to be not only talented but also a beautiful person inside and out."

Jackson's words had made me tear up. I had always seen him as a brotherly figure as I practically spent all of my childhood with him around the house hanging out with my brother. He even used to like to help my parents feed me and played around with me a lot. He was my brother, I don't care about the blood relation.

When he and my brother both left I was so alone. He went to pursue his dream and my brother left to Austrailia in hopes of becoming a good film director. I didn't have friends at school and people saw me as a loner so I even ended up falling into a really bad depression.

My parents divorcing didn't make the situation any better. They were always arguing with each other and, to keep it simple, ignored me at all times. Sometimes I was left alone at home for days because they both took time away from each other by hanging out with their friends and going on vacations to who-knows-where. I really needed brotherly or sisterly figures at that time but was lacking them.

That was when I began dancing and singing. To make Jackson proud. To distract me from the outside world that seemed to be so dark and depressing. I could express my feelings through the music, I could put into words what I couldn't before through lyrics, I liberated myself through dance. Music, was my saviour.

Thank you, 哥哥。

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