johnny
i wasn't myself at the party. everyone moved around me, and i just sat there stuck. i wasn't myself because i didn't have my other half.
"aye, you okay bro." my friend hayden asked me, as i was sitting in the corner on a couch at the party.
"i'm good."
"you don't look good."
"i'm alright, i just think i'll go home i'm kinda tired."
"alright bro, well thanks for coming." i grabbed my things around me and told everyone bye. i had left y/n in the first place because i just felt i wasn't happy. but, i wasn't happy without her. i didn't know how i felt, but right now is the time that i need her the most. that's why i am now currently standing in the middle of our bedroom, in our apartment, and crying with my girlfriend. i needed closure.
"so we're still together baby?" i asked, my voice waved.
"we always have been." she said happily and i felt her smile into my chest. i kissed her forehead and tears started to pour out of my eyes. i was crying harder than she was.
"i-i hate myself for doing t-that to you and u-u-us." it was hard to catch my breath. i was crying into her neck. she lifted her arm up, and gently ran her fingers through my hair.
"baby you shouldn't hate yourself, it's okay. you're here now, i don't like seeing you cry."
"so you're n-not mad."
"never, why would i be?" i pulled her closer to me, as close as possible. we'd been standing in the same place since i'd gotten here.
"i though i hurt you."
"i was hurting babe, but i have so much love and respect for you that i let all that go when you walked back through that door."
"i- j-ust"
"you don't have explain, john. we're together and that's all that matters."
"i feel stupid for crying."
"baby you can cry, sometimes we all need to. and i guess i'm stupid too because crying for a week." i was amazed at how calm she was being about it, after i literally left and said i didn't care about her a week previous. that's wasn't true, i don't know why i said that ever. she made me laugh, the first time i'd laughed in just about a month.
"thank you, for always being here for me. you never left my side. you cared about me unconditionally and i just didn't see."
"always." she kissed my jawline lightly.
"you have some clothes still here baby, so you can go shower or whatever you need and i'll wait for you in here." i smiled at her, grabbed some clothes, and went to the bathroom. my clothes smelt like, her, me, and nothing but my cologne mixed with tears. i got in the shower and let the hot water run down my cold back. i got out and put on the more comfortable clothes. i walked out and she was snuggled into the blankets waiting for me, like she said she would.
"hi baby." i said and probably had the toothiest grin on my face.
"hey babe." i walked over to the bed and sat up next to her. she was laying down so she moved her head onto my lap and i ran my fingers through her hair.
"i love you." i said under a breath.
"i love you with all of my heart."
"no baby i love you more than anything." she smiled up at me.
"john can you promise me something?" she asked.
"anything baby."
"promise you won't ever do that again."
"i promise on my life and yours baby." i leaned down and slowly, gently kissed her on the lips. that was my favorite, and i missed doing that since the day i left.
i'm going to update again in like the next few hours or so. i wasn't going to do a part to but you guys wanted it so i tried to give it to you, i hope it's good enough. i appreciate all of you guys that read. i love you all so much.🤩💘💓💗
