waking up to a much awaited face time call. my long lost love that i haven't seen since, he had to move out to los angeles. i couldn't, for my college is based in toronto, canada. the distance between us was much to deal with at times. but, i dealt with it not wanting to take another stab at losing him.
upon sliding the white button across the screen, i shut my eyes back. resting my eyes, the only time i got rest. fall break.
i heard the rattle of some chip bag, and his mouth munching full of them.
"morning, beautiful." i heard him say through a large gulp to swallow his food. beginning to flutter my eyelids open, they revealed a sleepless boy. tired from spending endless hours in the studio. he had bed hair the stuck to his forehead, sexy if you ask me. he sat at his computer desk, his phone propped up against the wall. his muscular body sat in the twisty computer chair.
his usual set, no shirt and orange joggers. the bag of chips sitting in between his legs. large white bed sat in the back.
i adjusted myself sitting up onto the headboard. "good morning baby."
"wassup?" he crunches down on another chip, catching it with his hand as it almost falls out of his mouth. one of his favorites, all dressed lays.
"i just woke up, planned on staying in bed all day." i giggled, smiling into the camera. although he didn't seem very amused.
"i know, but i got shit to do today so i can't." i nodded. it's understandable, he's a busy working man. he placed the bag of chips on top of the desk and out of the way.
"what you gotta do?" i questioned. having no way of watching his every move was a pain in the ass. i'm more than protective over him, he's all that i have.
"nothing much but, babygirl can i talk to you about something?" i scoots all the way into the desk, moving himself closer to the camera. his voice immediately filling with hurt, that was unexpected. he wasn't really elated when he first answered the phone, but he wasn't as upset as he is now.
"what's wrong?" i tilted my head to the side trying to get a better view of him. his plump, pink lips poked out into a pout.
"this is so hard, angel you know how hard i fuck with you." he grabbed at the bridge of his nose in frustration. having a feeling this was turning into something i wouldn't any to hear in the end.
"johnny you're starting to scare me-" my anxiety taking its turn. hands starting to shake as i held the slim black phone in between them.
"i've only ever had feelings for one girl, that's you. you were my first. i fucking hate myself for what i'm about to do to you, to me, and this."
"baby-" he wouldn't let me get a word in, panic taking over. my worst fucking fear was happening before my eyes.
"i've been thinking about this a lot lately, and it's like eating at me, and eating at me, it's hard to be in love when we're in different states."
"stop, damn, just tell me!" my worries of him beating around the bush.
"babygirl, this long distance shit isn't working for me anymore. i can't do it, and i think it's best if we just end things now." a break up. though he said it in the sweetest way possible, it still tore my heart to shreds.
having the feeling where you've lost the one you've loved the most, and you knew it was going to happen. complete anguish and heart break. i could actually feel my heart breaking, feeling similar to heart burn. i grasped my chest in pain.
immediately sobbing. sobbing uncontrollably, there was no way for me to stop. the person ive fallen in love with over time, is now leaving me, just like everyone else.
"fuck." he hissed, all i could heat is his voice. i'd placed the phone down on the bed, for it pained me to look at his face. "god, please don't cry."
"how can i not cry? you legit just broke up with me over facetime, something you said you'd never do. you promised." i seethed, feeling a mix of unwanted emotions.
"we all make promises, and break them, don't we y/n?" i heard him sniff, sound resembled him crying. one thing if not yet seen from him was tears. i couldn't gather myself enough to lift up the phone and look at him.
a nightmare come to life.
"don't turn this around on me johnny. it didnt have to happen like this." i wiped at the tear that burned down my cheek.
"how else? there was no other way. i didn't want to take a flight all the way to canada just to break up with you, and see your hurt face. i-its just better this way okay?" he was trying to be so sweet about it, to bad it wasn't really helping my emotional state.
"i'm h-hurt either way."
"you don't think i am?!" taking some sort of angry, yet husky tone to hide the fact that he was hurt. "look we can still be friends, and we can still talk every single day like normal." most predictable line to say during a breakup.
"i don't think i c-can look at you everyday without breaking down... nothing's the same."
lemme tell u how i come thru w the one, two kickin shit like kung-fu. 🦖
i'm not a school bitch bc my mom had surgery ha.
