✰ carry on.

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carry on- xxxtentacion is used

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carry on- xxxtentacion is used.

it's been about two months since johnny, and i'd broken up. the break up wasn't mutual, it hurts that i still am fucking infatuated him and i will never know if he feels the same.

my blood shot eyes decide to take everything out on instagram live and my fingers take everything out on guitar strings.

i'm encompassed in an oversized sweat shirt that belonged to him, he let me keep them all for my sake. my room that i'm in is very fun but enough light for me to see the strings in my guitar and see my fingers to strum.

once people join the live, i'm bombarded with so very truthful comments. peering at them with tear blinded eyes.

god you look like death. love u tho.❤️
what happened?😭
bb😩

i begin to sing it, may have not been the best but it's how i transferred my pain to others. my mind and fingertips taking me else where.

how did you get here?
i'm drunk and confused
i tried to be patient with you
yeah
high up, but you're falling back down.

your voice, oml.🥰
this is just for attention.🙃
fucking die already since you want to so badly.😂

how did you get here?
trapped in a concept
falsely accused
i'm drunk and confused
misused and misled
bitch, i'm hoping you fucking rest in peace
tried to be nicer with you
yeah

damn wtf.😭
fuck johnny orlando for this shit.🖤
u deserve better.🕊

high up, you're falling back down
now the fact that i'm alone is fucking comforting
and i can't seem to shake this fucking feeling in my

stay strong y/n.🖤
be careful who u get w next.🙏🏼🤦🏽‍♀️
save me. 😭

how did you get here?
cold shoulder, heart broken, misspoken
i'm drunk and confused
i'm cut open, the fingers in all my stab wounds
i tried to be pa
and if she could, she probably dance
on my have inside my head
i see your face i fucking hate
yeah
that i love you still
high up, you're falling back down.

tears pour out of my eyes uncontrollably, my voice now cracking. i don't fucking care, hate lives everywhere.

how did you get here?
carry on, life flies, so just carry on
i'm drunk and confused
with this pain inside my chest
got no choice but to carry on, uh.
yeah

i'm strumming more viciously, the comment section continues to grow. as if i'm screaming, fucking screaming into the camera and no one undoubtedly hears.

high up, you're falling back down
carry on, life flies, so just carry on
with this pain inside my chest
got no choice but to carry on, uh.

johnny commented ahh!🤪
johnny's in the live.🖤
johns here.💔

it's true that johnny is in the live, he's the last comment i see before i hurry myself to end the live.

i still love u, i hope ur well. be safe my love.🕊🖤

johnny

"bro why the fuck did you do that?!" jack yells at me, as i left the comment on her live. she got off live before she could respond.

her voice was beautiful.

and she was, perfect.

"g, man i couldn't help it!" i tell back at him my eyes powdering and foaming with tears. the veins in my neck building.

"man, shes no good for you that's why things ended!" he shouts, trying to get me to realize what i'd just done and what the fans would say.

"i don't fucking give a shit about that! she was everything i needed!" i shout back. "everything i wanted and she's gone!" i urge myself to throw the slim back iphone xs across the living room. most likely cracking the screen.

"you need to chill the hell out!" he shakes me slightly, similar to trying to get me to wake up out of my worst night mate.

"i want her dumbass! she was mine and now look at what i've done to here!" i cried, unleashing all of the emotions and terrible feelings i'd been holding back. i wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

"i fucking hate myself!"


i'm crying so fucking hard that i'm hyperventilating. i'm trying to be my best for you guys but god damn man i can't fucking do this shit anymore.☹︎

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