it's been years of torture, pain, and hurt. my dad left when i was little, and my mom isn't even around because she's away at work all of the time. i'm an only child so i've basically been taking care of my self since i was 10, and now i'm 16. summer just ended, and we are now at the first day of school. i cried to my mom on the phone last, night but i lied and told her the reason that i didn't want to go is because of my classes. the real reason was because of johnny orlando. i couldn't tell my mom i was getting bullied, i would have to start over at a new school when i've already got everything for me here. johnny, he's spread rumors about me, and that's why i'm known as the school's slut. he pushes me around, and no there's no one around he does when i'm alone at my locker and when alone in general. i can't report him to the office, because he said if i did he would make everything bad for me. johnny orlando would be the death of me.
i woke to the sun beaming on my face, and my phone alarm clock buzzing in my ear. i basically broke my phone trying to stop the alarm. i dreaded today, i just didn't want to see him. i dragged my self out of bed, and cleaned my self up when i went to the bathroom. i came out and put my school uniform on. yes, we still wear school uniforms at my school. i pulled my arms through my jacket. no, i didn't eat breakfast, or it would've soured in my stomach, due to my anxiety being so bad. i grabbed my car keys, wallet, school bag, and phone. i walked downstairs to the front door, and locked it behind me.
the school came closer into view, as i silently cried to myself. would he think i gained weight, got even uglier, or think i'm better than him. my depression gets the best of me everyday, honestly a smile hasn't left my face since two years ago when he started all of this. i maybe had one conversation with him in the past about homework, and then in 8th grade he started pushing me against my locker and calling me all these things, that i never would've expected to come from someone like him. we are now in 10th grade, things are worse. if you looked at johnny you would probably think that's a beautiful, dirty blond, green-eyed boy. but to me, he's a psycho. i think he's hurting just like i am and just doesn't want anyone to know. i'm so broken, and he's the cause of it, it just breaks me down more, if that's even possible, every time i see him.
i jumped out of my thoughts, as i pulled into my assigned parking spot. i saw my best friend jade walk over to my car when she saw that i was there. she's really the only person who keeps me sane and makes me not loose my mind. she tries to be there but she's really not, since we've gotten to high school she's tried hanging out with the more popular crowd. she is the only friend i have, but i don't know if i should really even call her my best friend any more. i grabbed my things, and got out of my car and slammed the car door. jade was standing there waiting for me, surprised she hasn't ditched me yet.
"hey bestie."she put out her arms for me to hug her, and i gave her a slouchy one back.
"hey." i said trying not to sound like i'm to depressed when i really am. we walked to the front doors of the school, went up to the bleachers, and sat. we had to wait for the first bell to ring. i started to shake my leg up and down in anticipation, looking down the steps of bleachers to see who would walk up next.
"where's johnny?" i blurted out, not being able to help myself. i's never to anyone, including her what johnny has done to me and i don't plan on it. no one was there for me when it happened, so i can just spare them the time now because i don't want them to act like they care. they should've cared enough to help me the pass two years.
"i dont know." "why do you like him?" she asked me, i had no idea where that came from, but obviously not.
"no what the hell."
"seriously y/n, i've seen the way you look at him." in what way did i look at him? only with pure disgust.
"huh. ugh just- do you know where he is?" i asked.
"he's probably just late, you know he always is." i had forgotten about that. the bell rang to go to home room shortly after. i rushed to my locker, in fear, i turned around in every direction to see who was in front if me, in the back, and both sides. i drifted over through the crowds or students to my locker. i turned to lock and put my combination in. i had a top locker, and no one had the locker under me so i put my bag down, unzipped it and started to take what i needed out. i looked around me again in paranoia, and saw no one. everyone were all in there own little crowds. i began to place my school bag in my locker, with the things that i didn't need in it. until i felt a large hand, push me hardly against my locker. i was turned around with my arms pinned to my sides, to see the face of no other than johnny.
he had smile on his face, like this was some sort of joke that he was messing with my life everyday. his breath got closer to my face, as he eyed me up and down.
"you look good today y/n." i could've fell to the floor on my knees then. my breath hitches in my throat.
part 2 coming, and i put this up early for you guys. this was a request so i did it, i don't know if it's exactly what you wanted but i tried. if you have anything you want me to write about, just comment and i'll try and make it happen. i appreciate all who take the time out to read. i love you all so much💘💓💗.
