Please, I do not want a heart

Part 1: Please I Do Not Want a Heart

I feel like I have been sleeping for a long time. I blink my eyes to see an unfamiliar ceiling. I am surprised and scared, I feel my eyes are tearing up for a bit, I want to get up but I cannot. The only muscles that looks like coordinating with me are my arms and legs. Even my head feels so heavy and I cannot turn my neck. I gaze upon my hands and made a close and open motions for several times, until I heard someone sing.

"Close, open, close, open 🎶🎶, wow! Our princess is so smart!"

'Princess?! Who is this princess?! Please let it not be me!!'

"Milady, it is guaranteed that the princess is a genius too! She is looking at me like she knows what I am saying!"

'Who are you calling princess?! This was not we agreed upon! My dear Father!'

"Ah! Look she is blabbing some baby words already!"

I heard soothing laugh from the distance. "Come on Faith, she is only a couple months old, although, I did heard most of his Majesty's children are early learner's than a regular person."

"Aaahh, our very first princess in a millenia, I am so happy to be alive at this generation."

'Are they really talking about me? A princess?! Me?! What a cliché!! Arrg! Hey nanny scratch my back, it is itchy.'

"She is our very first princess in a good millenium but nobody yet came to see her, not even his majesty nor any of the prince. Milady, our princess does not even have a name yet."

"Cannot be help, Faith, his majesty is currently in a very far place and looks like another war is about to break, and the princes are all busy preparing in case the majesty summoned them to join." -cough.

"Milady, your coughing and your complexion is getting worst by day. You cannot even take care of the princess in your condition. I am fearing the worst milady. His majesty and the princes are away, this might be the other Queen's do-."

"Faith, stop! Don't ever finish those sentence, if ever that is the case, you need to act like you know nothing, so that if everything turn to worst, the princess will still have you."

"Milady."

' Let me get things straight, apparently, I am a princess, and the very first one in a thousand years. There is a war that is about to happen, and someone is trying to kill my mother. Cliché...'

'Though it seems like, I have good mother this time. '

The memories of the past are still intact.

I was the eldest daughter of a young unmarried couple. My father was a hard-working man because he been living life from the very bottom of the status of the society. My mother was from the same situation as my father, but it does not meant they have the same principles in life.

My father had to move far away in order to earn money to feed his two young daughters and wife. As soon as the father of our family left, the mother of our family changed drastically. She abused her freedom and money she received for her children. It was a living hell.

'I never wanted for you to be born'

Words that are often heard from my previous life. I wonder how different this new one will be.

'Ah! I must had fell asleep, again. Being a toddler is hard'
I blinked my eyes multiple times, and when my vision becomes clear, a beautiful face was looking down at me.

"She had to look like his majesty. Oh my, our pretty princess is awake."

'Women are really scary creature, how can you change your facial expressions in a split of a second?'

"Lady Magdalene, the princess is like a mini version of his majesty." Then she gaze back and whispered, "though those curls is an eyesore."

'B*tch alert!' I want to throw this pacifier to her face.

Cough...cough.. cough

"Oh my, are you sick? This had been your very first pregnancy, it must had been hard on you."

The woman had ran from my crib, probably to show her concerned face to the ill woman, who cannot get up from her bed.

"Queen Anne, I am actually feeling a lot better than the previous day, please do not concern yourself."

"No, you cannot fool me, look how frail looking and pale you are, I will inform the royal doctor to make a visit."

"Please, my Queen I am alr---."

"No! I insist, we women only have each other here in the palace, please expect the royal doctor in couple hours."

After the light slam on the door, a gentle sigh could be heard from the distance.

"Joseph, I want to see you for one last chance."

So, you already resigned yourself and ready to die, huh? I felt hatred surging inside me.

'Women! No mater where or when, all you are filled is this emotion of love for a man. And you are not even his only one!! You are dying, and all you think is your romance. You sound like a good person, but if you think of your position as a mother, you could have runaway with your child. If he really cares for you, he will find you through the end of the lands.'

My baby rumblings were nonstop, and a light gentle laugh could be heard from the distant.

"Ha, ha, ha, Faith is right, you talk a lot already. So cute."

'And yet, I have not even seen you once'

"Forgive me, my princess."

'Not feeling any warmth will make goodbyes less an unhappy moment.'

"Not feeling any of your warmth, will make goodbyes a lot easier."

'To think we have the same train of thoughts, I am certainly your daughter.'