The Thorne To His Rose

Eighty Four

Lili lay in bed, her eyes sullen. She ripped away her covers as she stood up. "Miss, you should be resting". One of the Peaky Blinders said. She shook her head and grabbed his coat, slipping it on. She didn't care if it looked massive on her.

"No, I have a funeral to attend". She muttered.

The two men sighed as they snuck her out of the hospital. She stopped at her house and peeled off her hospital gown. Her body was covered in bandages. She knew at that moment, she should have called Alfie, but right now John was more important.

She walked down the stairs, a black dress covering her body. She winced as she got back in the car. It had been a long, long time since she was back in Watery Lane.

They made their way to Charlie's Yard, the letter she wrote for John was firmly clasped in her hands. Her eyes became teary as they pulled up to the yard.

Lili wrapped her arm around the man's waist as he helped her down the hill, where John was. Everyone turned there heads as the looked at her limp over.

"Lilith, what the fuck? You came out of surgery two days ago. You should be resting". Polly snapped.

Lili shook her head. "No, I'm here for John". She muttered. She smiled sadly as she gently stroked Finn's face. "I was worried about you". He whispered. Lili smiled sadly and looked at the caravan.

"I want to see him, before we do anything". Lili said. No-one stopped her as she opened the doors, stepping inside.

Her eyes landed on John. He looked so peaceful. She limped over to him and sat down.

"Hi, Johnny". She whispered. She pulled out a cap from her coat pocket. She leaned forwards and placed it on his chest. "I found this at my house. Remember when you gave me two caps to re-sow for you. I did them both, I just never had the chance to give them back to you". She whispered.

"Is it okay if I keep the blue one? So....so I have something to remember you by". She asked.

Lili licked her bottom lip and pulled out her letter. She gently tucked it into his coat pocket. "There are so many things that I wanted to say to you, I just never got the chance to say them. So I wrote them down for you. Oh Johnny, if I could, I would jump in front of those bullets for you. I'll always love you, John Shelby. You were my first everything. My first crush, my first kiss, my....my first love, my first time. Nothing could ever change the way I feel about you". She whispered.

She slumped down on the ground and pressed her her head onto his chest. She looked at his face as she spoke. "Remember when we first met? You turned around and smiled so widely. You threw one arm around me and you said, "One day Miss Thorne. You and I, we're going to get married". Oh, Johnny, I wished we did get married. I wish I was your wife. I loved you the moment I met you, the moment our eyes met. We would spend each day together, you would make me see the world so differently. What happened to the five year plan hey? We we're meant to get married Johnny, and now....now they have ruined that for us". She cried as she grabbed his ice cold hand's.

"When we first kissed I had butterflies in my stomach. When we were in Charlie's yard and Arthur pretended to be a priest and we got married. I've never taken that ring of that you gave me, and I never will. Or the time you told me you where marrying Martha. I cried for a week straight after you told me, but I was happy for you. I saw how happy Martha really made you. When she died...a piece of my heart broke to see you hurting so much." She whispered.

"When you first told me you loved me, and we made love for the first time. When you where drafted into that fucking war". She muttered, shaking her head. "I said a prayer every night for you to be safe. In my eyes, you we're still my Johnny when you returned. Another piece of my heart broke when you married Esme. I cried the entire night before your wedding. And now John Shelby, my heart is completely broken, and it can't be fixed. I pray that you find peace. I pray that God takes you up to heaven. I hope you find Freddie and Martha up there too. Please, Johnny, make sure you keep a place beside you for me when I see you again". She cried, warm tears streaming down her face.

"I love you, Johnny, now and forever". She whispered. She leaned forwards and placed a kiss on his cold lips. "I love you". She whispered one last time, before leaving the caravan.

She smiled when Charlie held her hand as she walked down the steps. "Hey, love". He whispered, pulling her in for a hug. Everyone started to place small belongings on or around the van. Lili placed down a single Lillie. A Lillie symbolised that the soul of the departed has received, restored innocence after death. And that was her Johnny, an innocent soul.

Lili stepped back and stood beside Arthur. He wrapped his arm around her, and gave her head a small kiss.

"This is how John wanted to go. On the smoke. And the truth is.....we died together before. Arthur, John, Freddie Thorne, Jeremiah, Danny Whizzbang and me". Tommy said.

Lili held onto Arthur as she cried. This shouldn't be real, John shouldn't be dead, Freddie shouldn't be dead, Danny shouldn't be dead. They should all be together again, sitting in the Garrison.

"We were cut off from the retreat. No bullets left, waiting for the Prussian Cavalry to come and finish us off. And while we waited.....Jeremiah said, 'We should sing in the Bleak Midwinter'. But we were spared. The enemy never came. And we all agreed...that everything after that was extra. And when the time came....we'd all remember". Tommy muttered.

"You remembered that God spared you". Polly whispered for everyone to hear. "But what did you do with the extra time that he had given you, eh Thomas?" Polly asked.

Lili watched as Arthur lighted a match. She covered her mouth and clenched her eyes shut as the flames set her sweat Johnny free. She burst into tears and wrapped her arms around Charlie. he let out a sigh as he held Lili close.

Everyone screamed and fell down to the ground as a gunshot went off. Charlie held onto Lili, her body shaking in fear.

"At ease! At ease". Tommy shouted. It was only Arthur and Tommy who were standing.

"Do not return fire. I repeat, do not return fire. Stand down. The men doing the firing are on our side". Tommy shouted.

Lili jumped when another shot went off, her body shaking as she thought of the shots that were made, the day John was killed. Charlie and Curly both helped Lili up, putting her into a chair.

"I took the trouble...of getting an invitation to Aberama Gold". Tommy announced.

"Oh fuck. Now it's begun". Johnny muttered.

Lili held onto Charlie's hand, her breathing out of control.

"You put it out in the open on purpose. You used John's funeral like a fucking beacon". Polly gasped/

"We were never on danger Polly". Arthur muttered.

"You set a trap". Polly snapped.

Lili shook her head and looked at the two Shelby brothers. "No". She cried, tears streaming down her face.

"You set a trap with us a fucking bait". Polly shouted.

Lili shook her head, and brought her hand's over her ears. "No". She kept muttering over and over again.

"You used John's funeral. John's fucking funeral". Lili screamed as she jumped up. She went to attack Tommy, but Charlie wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her away. "Lili no". He whispered.

"John, your fucking brother. Or did you forget about that?" She screamed.

She looked up at two men who where on horses. Charlie let her go as he led the two men towards his yard.

Lili fell to her knee's, her eyes were on John's burning caravan. She frowned and leant forwards as she started to throw up blood. Because she hadn't fully healed yet, she was still in a lot of pain.

"Isiah, bring her back to the hospital". Tommy muttered as he looked down at her.

Isiah nodded and lifted Lili up. Lili's eyes shut, the last thing she saw was smoke.