Ones Love Can Be So Strong Between Two People (A Rammstein Love Story)

Chapter 43- I Forgive You

(Paul's POV)

It's later in the evening; I have calmed down and no longer feel any hatred towards Richard or indeed what he did but I was still angry at him and I'm not usually angry or hold grudges a lot of the time. 

I was sat upon my bed; reading one of books to occupy my mind for a bit since Maisie left my room a while back to spend some time with Till. 

I laid down a little more in bed to get into a more comfy position when I heard a knock upon my door. 

"Come in" I said and soon saw Reesh walking in with 2 cups of coffee and he had his sad expression on; am I still angry at you or am I just being dramatic. 

"Hey Paul; can I come in, I made you a coffee" he smiled softly before turning away "sit down Reesh" I confirmed closing my book and laying it upon my side drawer; he placed the 2 brews upon my other side drawer and he soon sat next to me; unable to say anything. 

"Reesh....I'm not...angry at you" I said "I'm so sorry Paul; I was never meant to expose that secret" he sighed "I was just angry and the truth is...you don't have to tell me everything; I'm just worried about you baby and I want to protect you" he sighed.

"Please can we start again and you don't have to forgive me but I love you down to my fucking core and I can't live without you" Reesh sighed "only if you promise to never ever reveal anything like that again; I have buried that secret for more than 30 years and I wanted to keep it a secret" I sighed.

"I told Maisie because I needed her to know that she isn't alone and she could talk to me about the rape" I explained thinking about how hurt Maisie must be feeling "I never wanted to keep it from you Reesh but I felt for my own sake to just keep it buried" I sighed "I'm sorry I didn't tell you but the thought of trying to ripped my heart to shreds and honestly if it wasn't for Maisie then I probably would have never revealed it" I smiled a little.

"Paul I just want you to know like I've always told you is that you can talk to me about absolutely anything baby; I would never judge you especially for things that aren't even your fault" Richard smiled and wrapped his arms around me pulling me tight within his chest.

"I love you my big dope and I just want to protect you and be there for you" he smiled and kissed my head "I'm sorry I revealed that secret to everyone; it was a shitty move, I didn't have the right and I really should be ashamed of myself because you're my best friend and my lover" he sighed and rested his head upon my shoulder.

"Baby I forgive you but if you ever portray my trust again; we are finished and I'll make sure that you're kicked out of the band" I explained firmly as I stroked his thigh "believe me I will never portray your trust like that again baby but please talk to me about things if you ever need to" he smiled a little and kissed my cheek.

"I love you Paulchen and I only want to see that you're ok and know that you're safe with me" he smiled glancing at me "I'm not making any promises but I will if I need to talk or even if I want to baby" I smiled and pecked his lips.

"So what really happened...if you want to tell me" he asked "he was a friend I met in high school and he was the first one I came out to; he made me feel comfortable within myself" I smiled a little "and then one day we got drunk; him a lot more than me and before I knew it he had slammed me against my closet and raped me hard" I sighed seeing painful flashbacks. 

"I was left used and abused; he disappeared off the thin of the earth after it and he never got caught nor did time for what he did to me" I sighed and nestled myself within Reesh's neck. 

"Baby no; this isn't true" he sighed cuddling me tighter allowing me to feel safe "I'm afraid its true baby but I want to get therapy like Maisie is and allow us both to be there for each other" I smiled "I'll be there for you baby and whatever you need to allow you feel more comfortable then I'll do it" he smiled and kissed my cheek.

"More than 30 years is such a long time to suffer alone; I really wish you told me because you wouldn't be so damaged now" Reesh sighed and caressed my cheek "I wish I had the confidence and the balls to tell you but I was so frightened I would ruin everything with you" I sighed glancing at my lover.

"You wouldn't have ruined anything; I love you with all my heart Paul and nothing will get in the way of me loving you because you're mine forever" he smiled widely as he stroked my hair.

"Can we sleep for a bit; I'm tired" I smiled at my lover "anything you want baby as long as I can cuddle you and grope you in your sleep" Richard joked; I rolled my eyes and laid upon my back and dragged Richard and he laid next to me; wrapping his arms around my waist. 

"I love you Paul Heiko Landers; get some sleep" Richard smiled and kissed my cheek as I closed my eyes "I love you too Richard Even Kruspe" I smiled and held his hand close to my heart as I started to fall asleep. 

I was happy and comfortable knowing I had finally revealed a secret that I have kept buried within me for more than 30 years; it felt good to know he knew and although he didn't find out in the best way; I'm still happy that he finally knows, my lover, soulmate and my best friend who I love so much.