Ones Love Can Be So Strong Between Two People (A Rammstein Love Story)

Chapter 44- Starvation/Sleeping Pills

(Maisie's POV)

Nothing seemed to calm me; I'm currently in mine and Till's bedroom wrapped within his protective arms trying to feel secure which I was with Till but my mind just kept repeating what happened in aspect to the rape. 

I was horrified and I even had a panic attack when I had flashbacks of the rape and nothing would calm me down and the fact even Till wasn't fully keeping me calm stated a lot of things. 

I know Till is worried about me and I haven't eaten much since the rape mainly because I just don't have an appetite but I know Till is worried and I want to eat so he will stop. 

But there is absolutely no way I can stomach any food; I can't even stomach coffee and that is a scary thing because I have coffee every single day but I just can't stomach it. 

The thought of food makes me physically gag but I am starting to feel the effort of it since I'm starting to feel dizzy and dehydrated. I haven't even moved from the bed since I nearly collapsed going to the toilet and this is why Till is worried about me; he knows I'm starving myself but I know he would never force feed me, he'll wait until I'm ready to eat. 

He offered to at least make me a sandwich 2 hours ago but I simply refused and continued to be curled up in bed; I left Paul awhile go and I know Richard has since spoke to him but I have no idea if they have made up. 

I'm angry at Richard for a few things but they aren't really major; just the fact that he pulled a shitty move exposing Paul's secret that he told me in confidence and that he started an argument and disturbed me but like I say; its nothing major and I still love him dearly. 

Right now I just want to sleep away my pain and escape the horrifying painful memories of the rape but even sleep seemed impossible and I know my insomnia is going to deteriorate more and more. 

"Hi baby; you alright" Till asked as he walked into our bedroom with 2 cups in his hand "please hold me" I sighed as he placed the 2 cups upon our side drawer and he sat next to me.

"Are the flashbacks still there baby" he asked with concern I simply nodded and rested my head upon my pillows and continued to watch the shitty TV I hoped would distract me; I saw Till take his pants off and he got into bed in just a t-shirt and boxers and buried himself within the covers. 

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight within his chest and allowed me to feel safe and hopeful be able to sleep my pain away. 

"What are you feeling Love" I suddenly heard Till ask out of the blue "erm...pain I guess" I sighed into his chest "I just want to fall asleep Till and not be reminded of what happened or what I had endured in those few moments of torture" I sighed and sat up a little to face Till.

"It was only a few moments but it felt like it had been going on for hours and I really do just want to sleep away my pain and escape anything to do with the rape" I felt a sudden tear prickling my eyes.

"Baby I'm sorry; its my fault since I suggested you to go and rest in the car" Till started to sob as he held me tighter to his chest "Till its not your fault; none of us knew this was going to happen, please don't blame yourself" I sighed wiping away a single tear upon his right cheek.

"I need you to be strong for me baby; please stay strong for me" I wiped his tears and kissed his nose softly "I love you Till; please lets talk about something else" I said Till nodded and cuddled me close so he could continue to protect me.

"Maisie; should we try a sleeping pill and see if it gets you off" Till suggested "how strong are they" I asked curious "not that strong; strong enough to knock you out but not to make you feel too drowsy" he smiled "only if you're sure babe" I sighed in defeat; I hate using medication to make me fall asleep because usually it never knocks me out. 

"I'll take 2 baby and see how I get on" I smiled Till smiled and quickly started texting upon his phone which got me curious like aren't you suppose to be retrieving me some sleeping pills. 

"Till baby; aren't you suppose to be retrieving these sleeping pills" I asked "yeah; I've just texted Schneider to get some with a glass of water" Till smiled "you're a bit lazy sometimes aren't you" I rolled my eyes as a smile formed upon my lips "I just don't want to leave my babygirl" he smiled a little as he kissed my head; I could only smile at his protection for me. 

"Although I am gonna leave you for a few minutes because I need to pee" Till smiled and kissed my forehead before getting out of bed "hurry up baby; I miss you" I smiled Till smiled and soon left the room leaving me alone again with my thoughts. 

"Mais" I saw Schneider popping his head into the room "hi Schnei" I smiled "hey baby boo; you ok" Schneider asked walking into the room and sitting upon my bed "I'm ok; I just wish I could escape all of this" I sighed "I don't know what you're feeling or going through but what I do know is its not pretty" he sighed.

"Lets hope these sleeping pills allow me to sleep" I smiled a little Schneider could only smile and gave me 2 pills and I popped them in my mouth with the water and hoped they would knock me out. 

"Hope you get some sleep; I'll be downstairs if you feel ready to come down" Schneider smiled and kissed my head before he left to return downstairs with the empty glass. Till soon came back and got back into bed and wrapped his arms around me again so I would feel protected. 

"Have you had the sleeping pills" Till asked as I grabbed my cup off the side drawer "yes baby I have and I really do just want to sleep" I said and sipped my cup "ew, is that tea" I asked glancing at Till.

"Sorry baby; I don't want you having coffee because it contains too much caffeine" Till explained cuddling me tight "thanks Till but I think I'll leave it" I smiled placing the cup back down in its original place and I laid down cuddling up to Till. 

I closed my eyes and started to feel my eyes become heavy with sleep and I was relieved to know I would be getting some sleep.