A Hero In The Dark

Chapter 80: Studying Abroad - part 2

I sit on the bed, again, thinking about what I did and why I did it.

Unable to find answers, I become frustrated with the feeling of helplessness inside me.

My eyes gaze upon the fat book on the desk beside my bed. The Great Book of Mogadorian Progress, or so it's called.

I was already forced to read it before. It resulted in the destruction of the damn thing.

I hate to admit it, but a part of me is considering looking at it again.

Not only am I bored out of my mind on this warship trapped with my enemy, but I am afraid. Afraid to lose my sanity and afraid to abandon my loyalty to the right cause.

I need something to remind me of my hatred for this beast.

Seated at the desk and staring at his Great Book, I am reminded of how much I loved to read in my old life.

I remember the corner in my room dedicated to the bookshelf holding my proud collection of novels. Ranging from all different genres. From fiction to nonfiction. Horror to mystery to fantasy to science fiction. Even romance.

I can recall perfectly the comfort of reading words on a page brought. Offering a peace of mind in what I considered high stress situations. Giving freedom to my soul no matter how bad things seemed.

Posing as an escape from a reality that I wished to come out of.

I recollect the memories of who I was before I joined the Loric; before I left to fight in an intergalactic war no one knew existed.

I was just a kid.

A naïve kid.

A kid that knew nothing outside of the comfort of her family's home.

I have learned everything since then.

I have learned of aliens and legacies. Hostility and alliances. Revenge and retaliation. Pain and hurt. Desperation and despair.

I have learned the past, lived the present, and seen the future.

I have found love.

All this time spent away from John is making me go crazy. It's not that I've forgotten the pain Setrákus Ra endured on me; I haven't. However, there's a small part of me that is tired of waiting for the Loric to bring me home. If I can't find a way off this ship and Five can't help me, what do I have to lose?

I can do nothing but sit and wait until we go back to Earth. I may as well be waiting forever. It will be easier to play along than run and hide. Anger won't help. Pleading won't do anything. I can only do as he wants; pretend I am loyal to him.

I open up the hard snaky-skin cover of the book; flip through its dull introductions labelled by roman numerals and turn to its beginning.

And I begin reading his ancient text.

Volume 1

We do not begrudge the beast for hunting. It is in the beast's nature to hunt, just as it is in the Mogadorian's nature to expand. Those that would resist the expansion of the Mogadorian Empire, therefore, stand in opposition to nature itself. Those that do not shall prosper.

Power is but a mere objectivity. When it is obtained the habitant serves as the alpha species. Everyone below is considered invalid and purposeless.

Strength is sacred. Progress is sacred. But nothing is as sacred as knowing what could be.

There is no greater achievement for a species than the shouldering of one's own genetic destiny. It is for that reason that the Mogadorian race must be considered the most elevated of all life throughout the universe.

Having read the entire first page, I stare at the words and think about the concepts before continuing on.

I hate to admit it, but there is a certain truth to his words that I cannot place.

I don't disagree with fighting against nature. Nature is a force on its own. It cannot be fought. If attempted, defeat is guaranteed. If one wanted to get between the mother bear and her cubs, that person would likely die. I don't understand how resisting the Mogadorian Empire would be considered the same thing.

I find myself agreeing that power is an objectivity. Everyone fights for power. Everyone wants to be heard and seen. It's almost like it is in people's nature to obtain power, just as it is the beast's nature to hunt.

I agree with what he says about strength. It is sacred. It is valuable. Without strength, I wouldn't have made it this far. I certainly would have perished. But progress? I can see why it is sacred too. We are always adapting. Evolving. Change is imminent. Whether it is good or bad. It is inevitable to fight against it.

In terms of knowing what could be? It reminds me of Pittacus' tales; Ella's precognitive ability. By seeing into the future – knowing what could potentially happen – the present could change as well, for better or for worse. Although looking ahead into future timelines can be seen as useless because there are so many possibilities and outcomes, it also provides its use.

There is no greater achievement that the shouldering of one's own genetic destiny though? I don't know what that means. Why must the Mogadorians be the most elevated life throughout the universe? Do they not practice war and nothing but? What makes them so superior to other life? To humanity or Loric?

My pondering is interrupted when Setrákus Ra walks into my room to find me sitting at the desk reading his material.

I don't say anything, and I completely forget to bow or pay my respects to him or address him by his formal title.

I only stare with a blank expression.

Setrákus looks surprised.

"Well, I came to inform you that food is prepared if you were hungry," he starts gleefully. "I did not expect you to take the initiative to read my Great Book."

I glance at the book then back at his gaze.

"Thank you, Beloved Leader, but I am not hungry," I lie. "I would much rather prefer to read your book. If I must, may I have just five more minutes before joining you in the Banquet Hall?"

Setrákus smiles.

There's one thing I am partially grateful for. It's easier to keep my expression neutral instead of putting my face in a sneer.

"Well, of course," he replies. "You may have as much time as you like to read the sacred text. If you are not hungry that is fine. Is there anything else you need?"

"Do you have a notebook and pen that I can use?" I ask modestly. "I'd like to take notes."

His smile widens.

"Yes, I can get one for you," he answers. "I will return soon."