Why do I Keep Transmigrating Into an Extra?!

2.12| The Immature Delinquent Qi Cheng

After dinner, both of them sat on the sofa, watching the television. The elder man passed a can of beer to his student before casually grabbing one for himself. They both took a seat on the sofa, watching a weekly drama that appeared on the television channel.

A tranquil silence dissolved across the living room, small voices came from the flickering screen. Su Yun knew his attention was not on the screen— heck, he didn't even know why he was watching it. He didn't follow the previous episodes of the drama, nor is he following the plot. He didn't even know any of the characters. He just sat there, pretending he's watching, while his hand continued to send the can of beer to his mouth, where he gulped down the big amounts of alcohol down his throat.

His eyes unconsciously darted to the young man beside him, who had his eyes completely trained on the screen. Occasionally, small laughter spilled out of his lips, laughing at the scene unfolding in front of him.

With his eyes trained ahead, Su Yun asked, breaking the silence, "At what time are your parents picking you up tomorrow?"

The young man, whom the question was directed to, froze. Taking his eyes off the screen, Qi Cheng answered in difficulty.

"... I haven't called them."

Su Yun raised one of his eyebrows, surprised, "Oh?"

Qi Cheng pondered, before carefully asking, "Actually, I want to ask you.... Can, can I not go home?....I'll make sure that I won't disturb you at all."

His tone carried a hint of pleading. Qi Cheng knew how much trouble he will bring to this young doctor by asking for a favor, yet he can't help but to reach for his presence.

As if saying, "Help me, please, help me now."

No one knows his trouble better than himself. Qi Cheng was tired of holding on like a fighter, when in fact he was far from it. He's tired of pretending to be okay, when in fact he was slowly crumbling into dust from the pressure given by his father. He's tired and sick of the thing called 'home', when he never considered that cold mansion as one at all.

As if that mansion was a cage that trapped him inside, just like a bird that had lost its wings.

Qi Cheng's realisation of his feelings towards the elder man was also one of the factors that drove his decision to ask for his favour. The young man already considered Su Yun as someone close enough as friends, moreover, after knowing his own feelings, he will soon claim him. So what does asking for help from him now matter?

Su Yun glanced at the youngster, discerning the pain behind those calm words.

"...Sure just stay over tomorrow." Su Yun paused before continuing, " Actually, not just tomorrow. Whenever you don't want to be at home, you can come over here."

Such simple words yet it struck Qi Cheng's cold heart.

The young man revealed a difficult expression, his eyes widening in surprise at the man's easy assurance for him: "But... that's too.. Bad of me..."

Su Yun chuckled, "Well, you've got me, it's not bad though.... Look, this apartment is big, and I would love to have another presence to fill in the loneliness. I'm glad that at least this apartment could give you a sense of comfort..."

Qi Cheng gave a small smile.

"No... it's not the apartment."

His gentle eyes calmly stared at Su Yun's green ones: "...being with you, gave me a sense of comfort. Your presence does."

Su Yun was confused, slightly tilting his head to the side: "...how?"

The young man gave a depreciating smile, "I knew you saw the whole scene that afternoon. The scene where I got slapped by my father. I had never felt so lost... so alone. I felt so incapable of doing the smallest tasks.

You see, my brother was totally unlike me. He's totally a model student. He got straight A's going through high school, he loves studying and loves learning new things--When I meant loves,  I meant it's his whole world. My father was so proud of him. Unlike me who always fights, my brother can't even lift his fist to punch someone. However, one day, a student accused him of cheating during a national exam-- a student from a family way more powerful than mine. My brother's whole word broke apart. Nobody believed him, and what a scummy brother I was, because neither did I. My brother died because he did what he loved doing the most.

Studying killed him, the school killed him, his friends killed him.... I, his own brother, killed him.

Even though his death was 8 years ago, his shadow remains. I fear that the same things he did will happen to me. Even though I have those I called friends, we still have to mind our words. We can't really let ourselves free. Sometimes, it makes me wonder how many of them really need me.... I wonder that and..."

Su Yun who was listening quietly, decided to speak up, "Qi Cheng, it's very natural to blame yourself about your brother's death. The fact that you still think about him shows how much you care about him more than you thought. You constantly think about going back to the day of your brother's death, to prevent it at all costs. You hated yourself for not doing what you should do that time, and yes that made you weak. Your brother's death made you vulnerable, weakened, physically and mentally challenged, however, it doesn't mean that you're useless. You can recover, and the fact that you opened up your feelings to me shows it. It just takes time. Take it slow, allow your heart to recover. I don't know your friends, so I can't say the same for them. But I do have fun when I'm with you.

I do need you.

"So when you're with me, you don't need to put on your cold façade. You can just be plain old Qi Cheng. Well, on the surface, I know that your intentions of fighting those kids are good. But if you hang out with people in a superficial way, then you will be all alone. Because you don't show your true self to those who don't know you. I want to tell you to embrace your own quirkiness, and respect yourself, and I know that it's hard— it takes courage, but you just have to just be yourself. Trust yourself, this time will be different. You will make it. After all, if you don't believe yourself, how do you expect others to believe in you?"

The young man tightened his grip, his tone quivering, "But... there's no guarantee I'll be accepted. And if I make a mistake, I'll really be all alone."

Su Yun sighed, "That's why I said... you have me."

Qi Cheng was stunned. The man's words had shaken his heart. It was a moment of clarity that lasted only for a split second, yet it opened up his heart entirely, exposing the new possibilities the elder man has given him.

A small chuckle escaped his lips, "..Thank you."

Ding! [Progress Bar: 25%. Continue to work hard.]

Su Yun smiled, raising his hand to ruffle the young man's hair. "Your welcome."

~

I have you.

That's all I need.

Your existence by my side.

-W.Y.