I Don't Understand you ||Tsukishima Kei Story

Pov: I'm singing Never met while I extract a baby dill pickle from your ear

Y/n's pov

"For the last time, I didn't do it," I say getting annoyed. "I swear on the thickest dino cheeks that I didn't do it,"

"Didn't do what?" the principal asks as he sits across from me at his desk.

"So I'm not here because I did something?" I ask hopefully.

"No you are," he says.

Well, fuck me sideways.

"So do you know why I might have called you down to my office?" he asks.

"Well..." I tap my chin. "I snorted goldfish crumbs in class, I snuck a whole rotisserie chicken in class, honestly the possibilities are endless,"

"Did you actually do those things?" he asks.

"Of course not," I laugh awkwardly.

I totally did.

"So can I leave now?" I ask. "I'm supposed to be with the boys practicing, I bet they think I died or something,"

"Did you or did you not glue a toupee to the ceiling in the boy's bathroom?" he asks seriously.

"Of course I didn't," I say. "I would never,"

I actually didn't do it this time, but I wish I did. Mad respect for the culprit who did though.

"Then where were you during lunch?" he asks folding his hands together.

"Probably eating Kei's lunch," I say.

"What?" he furrows his eyebrows.

"My lunch, it was my lunch. Totally wasn't stealing another person's lunch, not at all. Me? Never," I say. "I'm a kind respectable girl,"

"Well, we couldn't find you at all on today's footage of the cafeteria," he says.

"What you film us eating?" I question. "You could get big bucks from that footage, you can call it 'massive teen muckbang'," I say dramatically.

"So where were you at lunch?" he asks again.

"Well, I don't know," I shrug. "Maybe I was sleeping under the stairs or something,"

"Do you know where Tsukishima Kei was?" he asks.

"Probably doing something that isn't illegal," I say. "How am I supposed to know where he is?"

"Well there was footage of you and Mr. Tsukishima walking into the boy's bathroom together during the lunch period," he says.

"Ah shit," I mutter.

"What was that?" he asks.

"I said that I had a very good reason for going into the bathroom with him," I say. "A very good one indeed,"

"Well did you two stick the toupee to the ceiling?" he asks.

So this old fart is more concerned about his damm rat rug then he is about two students entering the bathroom together. Cool, cool.

"Well, I am very disappointed that you would think that I, Ushijima Y/n would never do such a thing," I wipe a fake tear.

"Please don't cry," he says worriedly.

"Its just t-that all we w-wanted to do was watch cute videos of cats without the other students seeing," I sniffle. "I wouldn't want to be the laughing stock of my class, you know how hard it can be to be a teenager in this day and age,"

"Oh dear I don't think it was you," he says. "We just need to ask all the students who walked into that bathroom,"

Bullshit, we just looked sketchy as hell.