I Don't Understand you ||Tsukishima Kei Story

Pov I slap you with my shoe and then Kiyoko steps on you,

but then she morphs into Yukie
It said that my title was too long ;(

Y/n's pov

"Why good morning my dear brother Wakatoshi," I say.

"Good morning," he says. "My dear sister Y/n."

My heart.

It's dead.

Anyway.

"You are up early," he says. "Even for a school say."

"I may or may not have been watching this cosplayer do a Bj Alex Instagram live, and the time zones may or may not be extremely different," I say.

"Oh," he nods his head. "Okay."

"It may or may not have been very entertaining," I say. "And I may or may not have sent it to the team group chat."

*creak*

"What the hell are you doing?!" I yell.

"Sitting on your bed," he says confused.

"Off off off off," I say. "No sit- on bed, no."

"What? Why?" he asks, shifting in his place.

*creak*

"No!" I yell. "Off my bed!"

"Okay," he stands up. "Is there something wrong?"

"No- no sit on bed," I say. "Understand?"

"I do," he says. "But I don't."

"Because," I say. "I'm weird, and... Yeah, that's my reasoning."

"Understandable," he nods his head. "I have brought your drugs."

"Do not call them dru-" I start. "What is that!?"

"What is what?" he asks confused.

"That!" I yell.

"A Flintstone vitamin," he says.

"No that!" I yell again. "The- the little white circle one."

"Oh, its medicine," he says. "It is fine."

"No, I don't want it," I say. "Nope, what did Tendo tell you?"

"How did you know that Tendo suggested this?" he asks.

"Aedgbofvjoansz>OKJNO! I hate him, I'm jumping myself and blaming it on Sangwoo," I say.

"He said that giving you a twenty-four-hour elegy relief pill would help with seasonal allergies," he says. "If you really don't want it I won't force you to take it."

"Oh, it's for allergies," I nod my head. "I was thinking of something else, we fine. We good."

"What did you think it was?" he asks.

"What do you think I thought it was?" I ask.

"What do you think I think you were thinking?" he asks.

"Uh... I think my brain just committed su-side," I say.

He reached over and presses his hand on my bed.

*creak*

"Why did you do that!?" I question. "Are you insane?"

"I thought it would be funny," he says.

"And?"

"It was," he says before pressing on it again.

*creak*

"I hate you," I say.

"That makes me unhappy," he says.

"I'm kidding," I say. "Your such a baddie, don't worry about it."

"I won't," he says.

"Also, whatever Tendo tells you its false," I say. "He's sus."

"That is noted," he says. "But there is no guarantee that I will be taking those words into account when conversing with him today."

He do be talking to me like I'm a manager or something.

"Good day to you sir," I say.

-

"Goodmorning Yams," I greet. "Wheres Roxanne?"

"Her name isn't Roxanne," he says. "And she said she had something to do this morning at school. I believe shes volunteering."

"Sounds boring," I nod my head. "Have you seen the rat himself?"

"He said that he's gonna be late, he also has to something to do this morning," he says. "He said he'll be back by lunch."

"I hope he gets hit by a car," I say.

"What? Why?" he questions.

"Because," I say. "That'd be pretty swaggy, and he could get some clout too."

"But he'd be in the hospital," he says.

"That's fine," I shrug. "I'm sure he's wishing the same thing upon me right this very moment."

"I-..." he pauses. "Well, I'm concerned but not surprised."

"As you should be," I smile. "Now onward to our death."

-

"Oh great," I roll my eyes. "I was hoping you'd get kidnapped by Bill Cosby or something."

"Funny," Kei sits across from me. "I was just hoping the same thing for you."

"Ima call Sangwoo," I say. "No cap, you shoulda stayed home."

"Fine then I'll go," he says. "You can starve."

"Oh I'm just kidding you rascal," I say. "Now hand over the food before I take it by force."

"Here," he slides me a lunch box.

"Hey, what's this?" I ask pointing at the food.

"Its poison," he says. "Now eat it."

"What kind of poison?" I ask. "I'll only eat it if it's classy because I'm a baddie."

"Are you serious?" he asks. "Do you not know what that is? Or are you just fucking around?"

"Don't know," I shrug. "Maybe I am."

"It's fish you idiot," he says.

"Dumbass, it's dumbass for the last time. And this can't be fish," I say. "Why is it like this?"

"Its fish," he says.

"Why isn't it shaped in a rectangle?" I ask. "And where is the crust? This is fake, your playing me like I'm smash bros... Smash Bros! That's incest, or is it two bros smashing one person? Still nasty. No Mario and Luigi... Holy shit they're smashing Peach together, that's nasty... But wait, Peach is smashing Daisy so that only means... The smash bros are Mario and Luigi and they are both smashing Toad or that ghost... Do you know what this means!?"

"Its time to put you in a home?" he asks.

"No, this means that my life is a lie," I say.

"And that 'fish' you're talking about isn't even actual fish, those are just fish sticks," he says.

"Nope," I shake my head. "When I was younger I went to watch my brothers game and I saw Tetsuro, he told me the story of how the fishermen go ion the boat and catch the rectangle fish."

"He was obviously screwing with you," he says. "What you have in front of you is fish, you're just stupid."

"I graduated top of my class at Harvard, I am far from stupid," I say. "My only competition was Danielle Cohn, her booty do be poppin' and I am proud to call her my bitch."

"I'm gonna give you away," he says.

"Again?" I question.

"I-" he pauses. "I'm not even gonna respond."

"I can't believe I just said that," I slap my face. "I hate it here, truly I do. Ugh, I'm done."

"Just eat your food," he says.

Why yes, I am at school.

-Crouton