I Don't Understand you ||Tsukishima Kei Story

Pov I slapped your mom because she was being a hoe, and now I'm marrying her

Y/n's pov

"Yams," I say. "You good bro? You look like you just huffed a couple of cans of air duster."

"Yeah," Kei says. "You look sick."

We met up with Yamaguchi to walk to school, as usual. And he only wished Kei a happy birthday, he's been quiet ever since.

"Uh..." he pauses. "What do you guys think of Takahashi?"

"She's cool, nothing like me, so perfect I guess," I say. "Oh and she's pretty, on and I think I scared her."

"Shes not annoying," Kei says.

"Okay," Yamaguchi nods his head.

"So tell us the tea," I say. "And make it scorching."

"What there's no tea," he shakes his head frantically. "I don't have any."

"I know you do," I say. "I smell it, spill it before I dump it out."

"It's just..." he starts. "Well we've been hanging out for a while and I wanna ask her out."

"Do it," I say. "Do it now, don't be a pussy. I was a pussy, don't be like me. I tried to tell this guy multiple times. You'll just end up with food, ask her out. You must."

"You lost," Kei says.

"I did not," I turn to him. "Pussy is not a cuss word, there's even a poem."

"What poem?" he questions.

"Ahem, oh lovely pussy oh pussy my love, what a beautiful pussy you are you are, what a beautiful pussy you are," I say. "Anyway, back to Yams and Roxanne."

"Its Takahashi Akane," he says.

"Oh yeah," I say. "Oops."

"I think you should just ask her out," Kei says. "I mean, you don't want to end up with this thing," he motions his hand towards me.

"I'll bite you," I say. "And I've got rabies."

"I wouldn't doubt it," he says.

"Ask her out," I say. "Or I will."

"You will not," Kei says.

"Watch me hoe," I say. "And before you that 'hoe' is a cuss word you are wrong, Wakatoshi has a mini hoe for his mini garden."

"I wasn't gonna say anything," He rolls his eyes. "But you are not gonna ask Roxanne out, we're dating."

"Her name is Takahashi," Yamaguchi says.

"Yeah Kei, it's Takahashi," I say. "Get it right you cretin."

"Idiot," he flicks me in the forehead.

"Did you just flick me?" I question. "In the forehead?"

"Yeah," he shrugs.

"I feel loved," I smile. "Thank you."

"Go and ask her out Tadashi," Kei says.

"Oh my god it is her," I say as we walk into the school. "Look, we're both magical girls, but she's not wearing crocs, she has cute shoes."

"I'm not gonna do it," he says. "I-I can't."

"Fine, then I am," I say. "Hey, Roxa-!"

"Stop," Kei covers my mouth. "I'll give you away."

"Oya Oya?" I pull his hand away. "No balls."

"I hate you," he says.

"Thanks," I smile.

-

"Can I wear these roller blades?" I ask holding them up.

"No," my teacher says. "Can someone get her some shoes?"

"Can I go around serving food on a pogo stick?" I ask.

"I have an extra pair of shoes," Takahashi says. "But I don't know if they'll fit, my feet are pretty small."

"No need to fret," I say. "My feet are small but my BDE is big."

"Here they are," she hands a pair of those cute little lolita shoes to me.

"These make me feel like a hi girl," I say.

"What's a hi girl?" Takahashi asks.

"Do you swear?" I ask.

"I try not to," she says.

"Would you rather read a Shrek fic or a romance novel?" I ask.

"Romance?" she shrugs.

"Pick a number between one and ten," I say.

"Okay stop harassing her," Kei says. "It's weird."

"Suck my fourth cousin's butt cheek," I say. "Or suffer."

"Just shut up," he says.

"You see this Rox- Takahashi," I point to Kei. "You don't want this, this man is sus. Look at his face, he mind as well be wearing black forces."

"Don't listen to her," he starts pulling me away. "She's special."

"My tip of the day," I say. "Take anything and everything as a compliment."

"Um... Okay," she nods her head slowly.

"You are not allowed to talk to her until after he gets a chance to ask her out," Kei mutters so only I can hear.

"You can't boss me around," I say.

"You will not," he says.

"Now," I start. "I wont talk to her, but not because your telling me too, i'm doing it because I'm a baddie."

"Yeah yeah," he says.

"Singing challenge," I say.

"Don't even," he says.

"Fly me-." I start.

"Stop," he says.

"Fly me to the moon!" I sing.

"I hate it here," he mummbles.

Okay I'll prolly be able to get out another one toight.

-Crouton