I Don't Understand you ||Tsukishima Kei Story

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Y/n's pov

"So basically what I'm asking is if you'd be against me starting an onlyfans," I say. "Like when I'm not a minor."

"I do not know what an onlyfans is," Wakatoshi says.

"Y'know Wakatoshi," Tendo says. "Semisemi is subscribed to Tana on their, and cardi b."

"I am not," Semi says.

"Oh you are," Shirabu says. "I say."

"Shut up Shirabu," he sends him a glare across the table.

"Oh," Wakatoshi nods his head. "Why do you want an onlyfans?"

"Um that is a good question," I say. "I don't know, because."

"Because isn't an answer," he says.

Okay, let's not start this up.

"Um I want money," I say. "And I want an excuse to buy skimpy articles of clothing."

"I'll just give you money," he says. "Then you can buy whatever clothes you want."

"Wakatoshi, you kinda sound like a sugar daddy," I say.

"Well you have a job," he says. "There, money."

"Uhhh... I must embarrass my inner hoe," I say. "And all the people on Onlyfans are very classy, wouldn't you agree Semi?"

"I do not have any subscriptions on Onlyfans," he says.

"Yeah, and I do not use Wakatoshi's old sneakers as boats for my toys," I say. "Don't lie."

"Well, I do not believe I should have an opinion on you possibly getting an Onlyfans in the future, as I will never ever be viewing the contents it may hold," Wakatoshi says. "And neither will anybody else on the team, ever."

"We're looking at you Semi," Tendo says. "Better not me peeping on my favourite sister."

"I'm not some creep," Semi says. "So shut up before you start some rumour."

"I thought you only had one sister," Goshiki says.

"Oh that's nonsense," Tendo says. "You can't forget about my second favourite, Shirabu."

"I honestly don't know why I don't just transfer already," he mutters. "And why don't you go and play with your friend?"

"Oh, she's out to lunch with the bug," I say.

"What? But you are still here?" Wakatoshi says.

"I feel like I'm alive, but I'm dead," I fake sniffle.

"Oh do not cry, please do not cry," Wakatoshi says. "It was just a joke, do not be sad."

"I played ya," I laugh. "Cuz ima baddie."

"That was not funny," he says. "How am I supposed to know when you are actually sad."

"Just just disown her, then you'll know when she's sad," Shirabu says.

"Shut up you crooked bang head ass," I say. "Can't you see I'm trying to make a phone call?"

"What do you want?" Kei asks.

"Why hello to you too, I am so glad that you are just as excited to be talking to me as I am talking to you," I say into the phone. "I can tell that you are just leaping with joy to know that I too was thinking of you during my hectic school day, I bet you were just longing to hear my voice since you left me this morning."

"So you got a question or something?" he asks. "Did you not like your lunch?"

"What if I told you that I hated the lunch you gave me?" I ask.

"I have a free period next so I could probably bring you a new one if it's that big of a deal," he says. "The last thing we need is one of your drama queen meltdowns."

"Way to call me out, but I love the lunch so very much. The way the flavours mix together is just, wow," I say.

"Okay what do you want?" he asks. "I've just about had my daily dose of you."

"I just wanted to ask you if you'd be against me starting an onlyfans," I say. "Like when I'm eighteen."

"Why are you asking me this?" he asks, I could practically hear his eyes roll through the phone.

"Because we're dating," I say.

"Why do you even want an onlyfans?" he asks.

Déjà vu who?

"So I have an excuse to buy and wear skimpy outfits and stuff," I say. "Y'know?"

"Whos stopping you from wearing skimpy clothes?" he asks. "Because I'm not."

"Uh... I don't have anywhere to wear those skimpy clothes," I say. "There's a school dress code."

"Well don't wear it to school, wear it to the park or something," he says. "I don't know."

"Oh that's a good idea," I nod my head. "And a hoe never gets cold."

"Yeah whatever," he says.

"So what if I do get an onlyfans when I'm older?" I ask.

"You don't need to ask me for permission, your body not mine," he says. "It's not like you're gonna go around screwing random people."

"One sec," I say before muting the call. "Wakatoshi can I marry Kei within the next ten years or so?"

"It's him or nobody," he says.

Score.

"Stan Kei for clear skin," I say before unmuting the call. "Uh oh, back again."

"Oh how lovely," he says. "Is there anything else you want from me?"

"Will you marry me?" I ask.

"Do I have a choice?" he asks. "I mean really?"

"It's you or nobody," I say. "Take that as you will."

"Don't ask me to marry you again," he says.

"What? Why!?" I questions.

"I'm going to ask you in six years," he says.

"Oh. My. God." I say. "You serious?"

"Sure, now I've gotta go," he says. "Bye."

"I love you you shrivelled up gerbil," I say. "So so so much."

"Love you, bye," he says before hanging up.

"Wakatoshi, Tendo, I'm getting engaged in six years," I say. "Is that all right?"

"That is fine," Wakatoshi says.

"Oh my god, I can't wait for the wedding," Tendo says.

"Am I the only one here who thinks this is y'know, a little weird?" Shirabu questions. "She's fifteen."

"I am sixteen you moron," I say. "Did your parents drop you?"

"Says the one whos been dropped multiple times," he scoffs. "You're the stupid one."

"Takes one to know one," I smile.

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