Coffee

Part Seventeen: It's Alright...Hopefully

I stare off at the white walls of the ED.

Ever since this morning, I can't help but think maybe I should let Lauren have a dream come true.

It doesn't matter if Max and I have secretly been establishing some sort of relationship. I just blew it out the window in a matter of seconds for our pride and dignity.

I don't want to give up Max.

But.

At the same time, I know Lauren is in need of someone more than I am. I've always been good at being alone. Hell, I've done it for how many years now. Lauren is a social butterfly. She secretly craves a man to love because she's had so little of it in her life. Between her alcoholic mother, her father fleeing their lives and her sister slowly being consumed by the same disease- she has had it hard and has always only ever had herself on her side.

When we first met- we didn't get along. I was adjusting to America and she was too outgoing for her own good. Granted- she has ADHD and at the time was one and off her medicine due to the strain of trying to make friends and focus on school and make money to afford her pills.

I remember the first moment we made a connection. It was the second semester of our second year at NYU and prior to this- we logged each other with no merit to it. It was just a thing.

I found her crying in the Lou one day as I was skipping English class. I was trying to ignore her cries, but it was unbearable to say the least. And there I was, standing on a toilet, looking down into her stall asking her if she needed a drink. When she looked up and saw me, I knew a drink wouldn't cut it. We ended up going back to my dormitory and laid in my bed just just spooning her to calm her down.

She confessed that she needed help- a friend- anything to keep her on track. She so desperately wanted to make something of herself and had no one cheering her on. At one point she admitted that she often times thought of just killing herself because who on this God's green Earth would miss her. Her mother partied and drank too much- she left her little sister to become a doctor- and he father disappeared from her sad life.

So I told her- right then and there- that I would put up with her bullshit and look after her because only a Brit could show a Yank how to get by in life as a successful person. She laughed and ever since we have held each other up and been the family she deserved. I take her home on holidays and my family absolutely loves her. I couldn't imagine life without her.

So this Max thing...

There can't be any thing between him and I because Lauren needs normalcy more than I do.

"Earth to Sharpe! Dr. Helen Sharpe! Are you in there?" Lauren shakes me slightly and it takes me a few moments to respond.

"Oh...um....yes. Sorry..."

"Are you okay today? You seem...distracted. Wait!!!! Did you hear from Tinder Guy? No...tell me he didn't  reveal some weird sex kink? Like wanting to hog tie you from a bedpost and take photos of your feet?"

"What?...No! God, what is wrong with you?" I look at her, disgusted with her perverse and immature mind.

"What?! It happens. There are some sick people out there."

"Is there something you want to get off your chest?" I tease and she sticks her tongue out and then quickly pulls it back in and blushes while fixing her hair. "What? What are you...."

"Morning. Dr. Sharpe....Lauren." Max.

Of course it's Max. Lauren blushes but quickly looks away.

"Good morning, Max! You seem...chipper this morning." She stutters and fiddles with her pen. So obviously drowning in her crush for him. He smiles kindly at her- because he is very kind- and then looks at me. The corner of his lips curling up slightly more and then retracting it.