Coffee

Part Seventy-Five: Talk To Me

I make my way to the roof where Lauren said she'd be. I figured when I seen her, she'd hit me with her cane and toss me off the building. Instead, the second I get to her she begins crying hysterically. Something I have never witnessed Lauren Bloom do in our friendship.

"I got you. I'm here." I say and sit on the table next to her. She leans into my body and I just squeeze her tightly.

"I'm in so much pain....I can't do it. I need something. I can't..."

"Yes you can, Lauren. You can do this, Babe. I know it hurts terribly, but we can do this. You'll just need to slow down and know your limits. You can't over work it." Pushing her dark loose hair over her shoulder and out of her eyes- I kiss her temple and hold tighter to her.

"It's so hard...I can't even drink...I can't take anything to cut the pain away...how am I gonna do this?"

"We'll find a way. We'll work at it- one day at a time. Alright? I'm sure Once you start physical therapy- the pain will subside. Who's your therapist?"

"Ligon."

"Yeesh...I don't envy you." I joke and she laughs. Ligon is a major arsehole, who doesn't care about people's feelings or pain tolerance.

"Haha...I'm gonna die." She tearfully laughs and looks at me fully. "How are you doing?"

My lip quivers and a shiver runs through me. Pulling away I shrug my shoulders slightly.

"What's going on?" She asks curiously. The second my eyes look at hers, I start crying all over again. "Helen?"

"He won't even look at me...." I say and her shoulders slump forward.

"Fuck him then. He can't be mad at you for taking some time for yourself."

"It's not even that- he left me for Georgia and then when everything was happening he said if I loved him I'd have found a way to get the blood to you- so I ran and even then... and then with me losing the ba..." I stop myself and she looks at me.

"Lost what? What happened?"

"I...I found out just before all that happened that...that I was two months pregnant."

"Was...."

"I lost it during the accident."

"Oh my God, Helen. I'm so sorry and even after that Max is still mad at you? What an asshole."

"He didn't know. I never got to tell him I was pregnant." Her face pales and her eyes dull. She knows what having a baby meant to me and how much I loved Max.

"You still haven't told him?"

"No..."

"Helen- if he knew..."

"He can't ever find out!" I quickly say.

"Why? He'll stop being a major dick if he knew."

"Exactly. I don't want him to pity me or act like he cares when he so obviously doesn't. It's better that he never knows I was pregnant and lost it- especially the same day his wife died."

"Ex-wife." Lauren states.

"He still loved her. Probably always loved her and just pretended to love me because it's better than being alone." The night sky chills for a Mid-July night and I wrap my arms around myself and rub my hands up and down my arms.

"How about we go home? We can eat ice cream ice my leg and bitch about stupid men."  Nodding, I get up and help her to her feet. She's stiff and pained.

"We should get you crunches instead of a cane and walking boot."

"If I don't starting using it- it's never gonna get better."