The new girl in town is a straight badass. She is very blunt and straight up with people. She is also incredibly smart but doesn't like showing it off. She is very secretive about her life and it takes awhile to break her walls down
But someone in p...
*Some parts of this chapter may be triggering for some people*
Blake opened up her phone and ended up looking through dms.
A lot of them were asking if she would ever do a face reveal, some of them telling her she should do one immediately, She definitely would but she hated how social media worked nowadays.
blakearrow: face reveal will happen when i want it to, until then i'm staying anonymous. maybe i'll even stay anonymous forever, who knows. social media is very judgmental when it comes to looks. i want people to know me for my pictures and music, nothing else.
She shut her phone off and began petting Sparrow before going to her song book.
Her song March was the last thing she had written and she sighed loudly.
Her phone dinged and she saw that Tammy had texted her a recipe like she always did occasionally. She felt guilty opening it and not responding but she had to, she wasn't apart of their lives anymore.
That thought didn't sit well with her. She finally thought that she would have them in her life forever. She thought her and Jace were doing good, and that they were stable. But apparently they weren't. Apparently Jace didn't like how things were going, he didn't like that she was following her dreams because it meant she was so far away from him. No matter what she did she felt like she was alone. Her mom and her didn't really talk anymore, after she had graduated they just hardly texted. Chris has been busy shooting a movie so he hardly ever texts her, Jack doesn't have a phone and she was never close with Katherine.
Blake fell back on her bed, staring up at the hotel ceiling. She felt so physically and emotionally drained. She hasn't felt this much pain since her dad died and she never wanted to feel this feeling again but here she was.
It made her mind wonder back to the dark time that she was in when her dad died. Where she almost took her life, twice actually.
**This next part may be triggering to some readers, I will tell you when it's over. Mentions of suicide/suicide attempts**
She sat in the bathtub, her legs were brought up to her chest as her arms wrapped tightly around her legs. Her head was placed on her knees as she stared blankly at the door. Her heart hurt, no matter what she did it hurt. She tried getting drunk for the first time, didn't help. She tried smoking and getting high for the first time, didn't help. She even had sex for the first time and it didn't help. Blake just wanted to forget, she wanted to forget that her dad had ever passed away last week. She wanted to join him... she didn't want to live here without him. He was meant to be with her until she had kids so he could meet them and brag to his friends at how amazing his grandkids were.
She fell back into the bathtub her head going under the water as her hands gripped the side of the tub, keeping her underneath the warm water. Blake let out all the air in her body, as her eyes squeezed shut. Her lungs screamed for air, everything in her body telling her to go up but she pushed herself deeper into the tub. She refused to listen.
But then flashes of her mom's crying face danced around her vision, the thought of her mom finding her dead in a tub made her want to throw up. She couldn't do this to her mom, there was just no way. Blake shot up out of the warm water, gasping for air, coughing and spluttering everywhere as her entire body shook.
The second time was when it was three months after her dad's passing. She sat against her bedroom wall. A picture of her dad in her lap as she nibbled on her lip. A knife rested in her hand as she nervously twirled it in her hands.
She wanted to kill herself again. She hasn't tried since the bathtub incident but she wanted to now. She felt empty, she didn't feel anything but the pain in her heart was still very much there. Blake thought this was the worst feeling in the world and it just wouldn't go away.
Before even wanting to think twice, she went to drag the knife against her wrist so she could leave a big gash that wouldn't stop bleeding. But then she heard the front door slam shut. She heard her moms stumbling around the kitchen and she knew that her mom was drunk, yet again.
So once more, Blake had sighed and set the knife down to go help her mom. She thought that she would have to try some other day.
But she never did.
**If you skipped you can now read on**
Blake shook her head, she hated that feeling of emptiness. She hated it. But she refused to go back down that lane again. She never wished that feeling on her worst enemy.
It was one of the worst feelings of her life and she did not want to go down that path since Jace dumped her. She hated that dark path, but she wasn't entirely alone this time. At least she had Sparrow and her small fan base that kept growing, they were worth living for. They actually cared if she was okay.
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Liked by 927,493 others blake: if you are going through a tough time just know you can get through it. i am proud of you. i'm proud of everything you accomplished today, whether it's doing something you've always wanted to do or just getting out of bed. i am proud of you, never forget that. you are so strong, so, so strong and i will always be proud of you. if you think no one loves you, just remember i love you and i always will. i never want you to ever feel alone; you will always have me. i'll be checking my dms more often now. so please message me if you need someone to talk to and you just feel like giving up. if i don't answer you right away just know i will see it and respond. stay strong, you got this.
