Force bound Feelings (Anakin Skywalker x reader)

Chapter sixty nine

After leaving Obi wan to escort the duchess to safety Anakin and I were making our way back to one of the concealed rooms. There was still much to discuss, and I was still hungry. So while I entered the room and searched for food Anakin closed the door and took a deep breath.

"Alright I'm assuming you want me to explain myself? Anywhere in particular you'd like me to start?" The young man in question asked sounding very hesitant. Meanwhile I was pulling a box of biscuits of the top shelf and getting stuck in with them as I turned back round to face him with a curious expression.

"Last week, what was that about? You completely freaked out and near tripled security on the Executer."
I decided to ask since I really did want to know what had scared him so much. In my frustration before I'd been reluctant to ask but now my head was a little clearer and I didn't feel like Anakins over the stop security measures were suffocating me I could finally bring myself to ask the question. Anakin shuffled his feet and ran his fingers awkwardly through the back of his hair.

"...you remember that mechanic you said you saw last week? Erica or whatever she said her name was," He spoke up after a couple of short moments, avoiding my gaze and averting his concerned blue eyes off to the side. Worried by his attitude I gave a cautious nod and urged him to continue. "She wasn't a mechanic (y/n), I doubt she was even on the ship. See I've met her before, she came onto me in a bar a while back - please doubt shout at me for that, I hate myself for not pushing her away but I swear to the force nothing happened and I'm starting to think she only approached me for some ulterior motive." He explained as my eyes narrowed and I bit into my third biscuit. Anakin had these adorably worried expression as he spoke and it was probably well founded given I was yet again getting mad at him.

"Go on, there's evidently more you want to say." I responded while half glaring towards him as I awaited further information.

"I saw her in a vision (y/n), several times actually during the six months you were gone, each time she tried to tempt me to the dark side, she kept calling me lord Vader...honestly some of the things she said scared me, she kept saying I was destined to turn to the dark side...and it scared because...at least for a little while I thought it could be true," Anakin replied with a regretful sense of hesitation, his gaze drifting once more away from me as he stared out the nearest window. Taking a heavy breath he turned and fully faced the screen, lowered his head with a grim expression. "...(y/n)...do you remember the nightmares I had about my mother? How I saw her suffering...how I knew she was going to die..." The tone of his voice made my heart ache. He was afraid of something, something I didn't understand. For just how long had Anakin been keeping these secrets to himself, it seemed to be tearing him apart.

"But we saved her Anakin, remember? We got to Tattooine on time, she was tired but alive." I replied softly while taking a step towards him. Something about his aura had me anxious, there was more to this than I knew. Anakin ran his hands over his face and again shuffled his feet slightly in an anxious manner.

"No, no I didn't..." he mumbled before sucking in a breath and lifting his gaze back to the window. "After Dooku took you (y/n) my nightmares returned, and because of the war I could r go to visit, not until it was to late...when I arrived I found the place it ruin, attacked by sand people...everyone was dead...so I, I..." he trailed off with a crack to his voice as he lowered his eyes again and stared at the floor with a newfound shakier breathing pattern. Stepping forward I reached over and lightly grabbed at his arm sensing he was finding this all very difficult to talk about.

"You what Anakin..? Come on you can tell me anything..." I whispered trying to comfort him even despite feeling that dark shadow cross his presence again.

"...I killed them...I killed them all (y/n).."

I stepped back slightly, not quite believing the words leaving his lips. He kept staring out the window with a cold aura through which I could feel the ruminants of his anger.