chapter 34

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PRISONER OF THE MIND

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PRISONER OF THE MIND

When a sleepover with Hermione failed to give me the privilege of getting even a brief few hours of sleep, I tried sleeping in Fred and George's room the following night.

I couldn't be alone.

I physically felt my body deteriorating from how exhausted I was.

Fred and George are my best friends. Their presences alone were enough to make me feel whole. Surely, if there was comfort to find anywhere, it would be with them. They spent all night teasing and joking, telling me bizarre "bedtime stories" and making me laugh until my stomach hurt.

Until my stomach hurt.

I forgot pain could be good-not good of course but the stomach ache from laughing so hard you can't breathe-my only experience of that ache and struggling to catch my breath came from torture. Not laughing.

Everything felt right in the world, everything felt normal. For the first time, I truly forgot all the terrible things that had happened.

Until the twins fell asleep.

George was in his bed, I was in Fred's. He cuddled up close to me, the faint sound of his snores in my ear as he held me close, his arm draped over my stomach.

I stared at the ceiling and focused on the sound of Fred's breathing.

Focus.

Thump, thump, thump.

His heartbeat. Focus on his heartbeat. Don't hear the sounds of your screeching wailing echoing through the concrete room.

I screwed my eyes shut tightly, mentally pleading my mind would silence itself.

It didn't.

Closing my eyes only made it worse.

Samael's face. The jagged scar across his face. Blood. So much blood all around me, drying on my clothes and hardening the fabric.

I snapped my eyes open, staring at the blank ceiling.

It's so dark.

It's so cold.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

I'm here. I'm safe.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Focus. Focus on Fred's heartbeat.

You're not trapped. You're not chained.

I'm here. I'm safe. I'm not there anymore.

My mind was still steel-restraint chained there.

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