Draco Malfoy fic in a Hogwarts universe where Voldy doesn't exist and everyone is alive and well.
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𝙒𝙊𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙍𝙒𝘼𝙇𝙇:
Somebody who is the reason for your happiness; a soulmate; a forever lover.
Somebody you find yourself thinking about constant...
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LEARNING TO BREATHE
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I had spent months wracked with guilt because Draco deserved far more than the debris I was. All my friends-I hated being the cause for their worrying and anguish. I hated that my brokenness tore them. I hated myself for not being able to be stronger, not being able to do better than I did to cope.
"You know, I bet Draco wished he never rescued you. It's pathetic how delusional he is, to think he can fix you right up. I mean, you're obviously already ruined but you're ruining him too."
Mara was right.
I was draining Draco.
He had spent all this time chipping away parts of himself to give to me, to make me whole-and it was finally catching up to him. He was wearing out, all because of me.
I hated myself for it.
Why-why oh why did I ever allow myself to depend on him?
The very first night he told me to come sleep in his room, I should have walked away. I should have lied. I should have never shown him how badly I was struggling-maybe then this would have never happened. We wouldn't have grown this close. We wouldn't have become to dependant on one other. My well-being wouldn't be so important to him.
He needs me to be okay.
What if I can't be?
God, I just keep fucking things up.
I'm supposed to be okay now.
Yet, I still find myself in some sort of chaos. Whether it's drug addiction or fuelling this rivalry with Mara.
Draco deserves normal and peace and I can't seem to give him that.
I hadn't realized that while Draco tried to mend my broken heart, he continuously cut himself on the shattered pieces.
I couldn't get out of bed.
Hermione left me a hangover cure potion-which I couldn't bring myself to take because feeling the compression of my skull as daggers plunged into my head over and over again-the tearing headache-I almost felt I deserved to feel that pain.
With the blanket over my head, I hugged a pillow to my chest and cried and cried and cried until I could no longer breathe. I cried until my body shook. I cried until I felt I was going to pass out from the lack of oxygen.
Images of him and Astoria flashed through my mind-and I so badly wanted to gauge out my own eyes. They were so happy and normal. Laughing. Careless. At ease. It was so simple.
Entirely what he deserved.
Entirely what Draco hadn't known he had been missing. He said he wanted me-even if things always remain terrible, but he had never really experienced normal. How could he know what he was settling for instead?
