BAU groupchat + Reader

17

                BAU Baddies

Derek: GUESS WHOS BACK ⁉️⁉️🥶🥶🥵🥵😏

Emily: who tf added you back it doesn't even say

Garcia: he tried getting me to but I didn't cave! :)

Derek: cold asf babygurl but I forgive you sweetness 😘😘😘

Hotch: I did not add you back.

Derek: and⁉️⁉️⁉️ BUILT:DIFFERENT 🥶😱😱

Y/n: Let's all just blame Rossi LMAO

Emily: David what the fuck why'd you add Morgan back in smh 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

JJ: old people smh🥱

Reid: The emoticons still confuse me when used in large quantities. How could someone be possibly feeling so much at once? I can barely process one emotion at a time.

Hotch: Reid are you feeling okay?

Hotch: Wait you probably don't know lol. Sorry nevermind.

Emily: we broke bossman💀

Hotch: I get a sense of humor and suddenly I am broken what do you people want from me?

Derek: tf is "you people" supposed to mean Aaron🤨🤨

Y/n: PLEASE DONT MAKE HOTCH CRY AGAIN😭😭

Derek: actually nvm it's only funny to make that joke at Rossi tbh bc.. ya know

Rossi: .

Hotch: Dave you're on thin ice already.

Rossi: FOR WHAT I DIDNT DO ANYTHING

Hotch: 🤨 Right.

Y/n: I LOVE HOW WE BROUGHT HOTCH TO THE DARKSIDE AND NOW ALL HE DOES IS BAG ON ROSSI🥳🥳🥳

Emily: Rossi deserves it 99.7% of the time unless he makes food then he's ok ig💅🏻💅🏻

Rossi: Aaron why are you bullying me with the children

Y/n: calm down lil fruitcup it's okay </3

Derek: LIL FRUITCUP 😔😔

Emily: Y/N PLZ

Rossi: I'm straight:/

Emily: Yeah we know🤢🤢

Derek: Rossi got a lil crush on bossman or smth👨🏾‍🦯👨🏾‍🦯 damn

Hotch: If that's true suddenly I am straight.

Garcia: Guys I made brownies ! :D

Reid: Wait is there 2 and a half straight men on the team now. That's so tragic gross.

Hotch: I was joking.

Rossi: good bc I dont have a crush. I only like women

Derek: Then why can't you keep one🤨🤨⁉️

Emily: DEREK PLEASE😭💃🏻💃🏻

Y/n: "good I dont have a crush I only like women" sounds closeted lol

Garcia: Guys :/ not cool leave him alone

Derek: fine bbgurl only 4 u <<33

Rossi: why is Garcia only nice to me

Hotch: She doesn't have a mean bone in her body that's why.

JJ: I'm not sending you boobie pics at work hun sorry

Derek: WHAT LMAO😭😭

Y/n: am I seeing this right? 👨‍🦯👩‍🦯👨‍🦯👩‍🦯

Hotch: Pardon me?

Emily: ..

JJ: oh my God that was not meant for this chat

Derek: CLEARLY AYO WHAT THE FUCK 😨😨

Derek: but I mean...

Hotch: Derek I will remove you again.

Emily: ^

Y/n: joke or not dont fetishize wlw://

Derek: damn shawties my bad I was joking😔😔

JJ: apology forgiven

Emily: 🤨🍆✂️ KAM

Reid: Oh god, she is chasing him with scissors again Hotch.

Hotch: As everyone else would say. "👨🏻‍🦯👨🏻‍🦯". I do not see.

Derek: AYOO????😨😨

Derek: HELK MEY OH MY GAWHDH

Y/n: ..is she..?

Garcia: I can hear him screaming a whole floor away jesus.. Hotch is this a joke anymore or..?? :0

Hotch: I am unsure. I will check now.

Emily: Derek thank you so much for the 60 dollars! You're literally the sweetest friend anyone could ever ask for!💅🏻💅🏻

Hotch: Did you physically hurt him?

Derek: I'm mentally traumatized 😔 she robbed me and threatened to cut my dick off🤬🤬🤬🤬

Emily: there is not a scratch on him physically 💃🏻💃🏻

JJ: this is why I love you

Emily: fag

Reid: Not you hate criming your girlfriend.

Derek: OO YUH GET SASSY PRETTY BOY 😱😱

Hotch: Resignation papers are looking so lonely right now.

Y/n: PLEASE💀💀 DONT QUIT HOTCHY BOY

Rossi: guys am I really that bad?

[All seen]

Rossi: damn

Derek: