Baddies of the BAU
Emily: where tf is baldie mcfuckface
Reid: What?
Emily: not you honey, you have hair ❤️
Y/n: Derek Morgan what the ever loving fuck did you do now 😟😟
Derek: okay first off "mcfuckface" KYS 😡😡🤬🤬🤬
Derek: second off I didn't do SHIT PROVE IT OR SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
Emily: I KNOW YOU DID IT STOP TOUCHING MY SHIT YOU FREAK I HATE YOU GO CRASH ANOTHER CAR OR SMTH GODDAMN 😣
Rossi: what's going on?
Y/n: Derek
Rossi: oh makes sense, that cleared it up thank you!
Y/n: ofc! 🥰
Derek: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? I DIDNT DO SHIT NO FACE NO CASE 😂🙏
Hotch: ..?
Hotch: what the fuck is wrong with you
Derek: it all started when my dad died...
Y/n: yawns
Y/n: anyways bestie Emmy what'd Mr clean do 🤨 spill
Emily: I HAD A SANDWICH FROM THAT NEW DELI THAT OPENED UP AND I WAS SO FUCKING EXCITED AND I COME BACK FROM THE BATHROOM AND BOTH DEREK AND M YSANDWICH HAPPEN TO BE MISSING I KNOW HIS ASS TOOK IT HES ALWAYS EATING JU FUCKING FOOD I AM GOING TO KILL HIM I AM TORED
Derek: ain't reading that essay 😂😂😂😂🙏 cope or cry 🤗🤗
JJ: do you value your life that little?
Derek: like we say to the media: NO COMMENT AT THIS TIME!!!! 🏃♂️ 🏃♂️ 🏃♂️
Y/n: 💀 this mfer
Hotch: Derek we've talked about not touching other people's things, why'd you eat her sandwich?
Hotch: I feel like a fucking kindergarten teacher btw why am I discussing this with grown adults lol
Derek: HAD TO GET MY GAINS IN BOSSMAN YOU ALREADY K N O W 💪 💪🥶🥶🥶
Y/n: are you stupid or dumb
Derek: I'm Derek
Emily: ..yeah buddy..
JJ: 💀 ..ok
Hotch: his gains in..
Derek: BULKING SEASON RAHHHHH 🦅 🦅 ‼️‼️‼️‼️
Rossi: I am confused
Hotch: I think we all are Dave
Reid: what is "bulking season"
Emily: so there's still website you can pull up called "Google" and it tells you answers to questions you may not know! 🤩 💋
Reid: Who hurt you I asked a question
Emily: Everyone I've ever loved actually
Y/n: well
Derek: Emily next time you get a sandwich get less mayo please it was a little soggy 🤬
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!
