Baddies of the BAU
Derek: now hypothetically if I were to lets say, crash my car again, in a deserted area that I'm barely getting service in, what would one do? 👨🏾🦯
Hotch: Hypothetically? Morgan are you alright? Call 911?
Emily: Why is he allowed to drive?? Seriously third time isn't a charm?😧
Derek: My head is bleeding a lot😫 💀💀 r.i.p that cranium ayyeeee🙌🙌😋
Y/n: What the fuck is wrong with you😭😭
Reid: Head wounds tend to bleed more than anywhere else on the body, even if it's not a serious wound. Apply pressure to it and call for an ambulance.
Derek: w-what if I'm a shy sussy baka and don't want to? 🥺
Rossi: derek...kiddo..
Emily: Then bleed out we don't care you sussy bleeding baka🥺💋
JJ: my god..💀
Garcia: DEREK HONEY PLEASE CALL FOR HELP IM WORRIED ILL TRACK YOIR PHONE RIGHT NOW TO SEE WHERE YOU ARE:(((
Derek: I called guys lol what if my brain just falls out of my head rn that'd be so crazy 🥶🥶🤯
Hotch: Oh don't worry, nothing will fall out, I'm sure of it
Emily: PERIODT HOOLA HOOP YOU TELL HIM 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻
Rossi: Hoola hoop..?
Hotch: You know what, you guys have called me worse
Y/n: crotchy hotchy
Hotch: ^ ding ding ding
Derek: Damn i miss when you were reactive anytime we insulted you now you're just numb
Reid: Thats literally a sign of trauma.
Emily: ...
Emily: Reid respectfully, shut up
Derek: aarggghhh 🧟♂️, killed the mood
Hotch: As right as he is, I don't react because that's what you want. I'm not traumatized
Y/n: yeahhhhhh sure🤨🤨
Hotch: ..well not traumatized by THAT specifically 👍
Derek: Good thing i didn't total this car so I don't have to buy a new one!
Emily: You scare me, genuinely 😳
Rossi: Kiddo, I'm not helping you this time, you crashed that thing too many times you can't be so reckless we need you alive you know
JJ: Hes literally our dad i cannot that was such a dad thing to say mama rossi
Y/n: We corrupted hotch he has two roles to fill now😭
Derek: nah hotch still is daddy af no worries
Emily: KICK HIM OUT RN 😧😧😧
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!
