Baddies of the BAU
Garcia: almost broke my wrist #gonnagocrynow
Derek: babygirl needs some milk frfr🥺🤞🏾
Emily: Got milk?
Derek: Oh I got milk alright...👹👹
Y/n: stfu fruitcake
Hotch: ^ Derek please it's too early for this, stop
Reid: Did you know milk actually doesn't help strengthen bones? That's a common myth. Studies have shown that adults who drank 2-3 glasses as children were more likely to develop bone diseases such as osteoporosis!
Derek: so I've been lied to my whole life 👀🦴👅👅 wtf
Emily: silly capitalism and it's silly little tricks... fuck milk 🥛 me and the homies hate 😤 milk 🥛 😤
Derek: I say we riot over this wtf milks nasty anyways 🙄🙄🥲
Y/n: I can't believe this. All those got milk? commercials.. we've been manipulated..
Hotch: Milk is disgusting, glad I never drank it as a child, bone game strong
Derek: hotch what💀😱😭😭
JJ: you guys are to blame for why he talks like that 💀 don't act surprised Mr I further traumatized our already deeply traumatized boss
Rossi: milks good what
Emily: WEAK BONES WEAK LITTLE BABY MAN BONES ROSSI HAS LITTLE FRAGILE BABY MAN WEAK MAN BONES HA HA MILK BONES
Y/n: who hurt you
Emily: myself🙄 let me be
Y/n: ily bestie it's okay
Derek: PRENTISS PLEASE 😨😭😭
Rossi: "milk bones" .. okay
Garcia: woah I didn't know milk could frick up bones.. :0
Reid: Yep! Calcium and protein needed to help strengthen bones can be found in many other dietary options that don't cause the same issues as milk does!
Reid: as humans evolutionary wise, it doesn't make much sense for us to drink milk considering the fact that we can find all the vitamins and nutrients it has in better options, it's not like we were able to access milk either meaning we in fact did find proteins and calcium in other efficient ways! Technically we all are lactose intolerant to an extent, that's why if you drink way too much milk you'll get sick, so really we shouldn't even drink milk yet choose to do so anyways. I personally think it's nasty as well, I don't understand why people choose to drink it especially if they know they don't technically need to.
Hotch: very nice Reid thank you 👍
Derek: you should write a book about how milk sucks tbh 😁😁😁😁😁
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!
