Bau Baddies
Derek: which one of you sussy bakas took my tape I need it rn😡😡🖕🏾
Emily: no one wants your stinky tape bighead🖕🏻🖕🏻
Reid: Why is the tape stinky?
Y/n: She's just insulting his tape to make it visible she didn't want it, spence
Reid: Oh! Well I took it 👾
Derek: Oh never mind take your time I can wait 🤠
JJ: use mine it's on my desk I'm having lunch with em rn
Emily: mhm^
Garcia: #jemily
Derek: pussy isnt lunch but okay 🤣🤣🤣
Y/n: derek what ☹
Hotch: I didn't wanna finish half of my paperwork and come onto my phone and see that honestly
Derek: then stop reading idk👹👹
Hotch: I MADE this groupchat
Reid: y/n are we still going to the bookstore after work?
Y/n: Mhm! I'll see you there sweet boy
Derek: yo see these mfers are acting sus as hell ^ yall see this shit? 🤨🤨
Emily: THEY'RE GOING TO A BOOKSTORE SHUT UP WITH YIUR JELLYBEAN ASS FOREHEAD 🖕🏻🖕🏻
Derek: BITCH??? SHUT UP WITH YOUR CROOKED ASS BANGS YOUR DYE JOB IS SHIT🤬🤬🤬
Emily: you probably have chlamydia do not talk to me🖕🏻
Derek: I USE PROTECTION FUCK YOU NO I DONT
JJ: what is going on
Emily: DEREK THE PANTY WEARER MORGAN ISNT MINDING HIS BUSINESS 😡😡
Y/n: ☝️
Hotch: Morgan wears panties lmao???
Derek: I DONT WHAT THE FUCK EMILY 😡🖕🏾
Emily: defensiveness usually means guilt...
Reid: You guys fight like siblings.
Derek: Damn wait that warmed my heart a lil </3 fuck u pretty boy
Emily: old ass big brother 🖕🏻 I love you bighead fuck off
Hotch: so angry 🧨
Derek: see the mixed signals got me fucked up 🤔🧍🏾♂️
JJ: arent we all siblings and Hotch and mama Rossi are our parents?
Hotch: basically
Emily: wait no
Hotch: ???
Emily: this isnt Alabama I would not fuck my sister 🤮 nope
Emily: and derek flirts with bossman all the time sus af
Derek: I have daddy issues okay💔💔
Y/n: oh god STICK TO THE VAGUE STATEMENT OF US BEING A GIANT FAMILY PLEASE
Derek: why're you so concerned ?? Hm?🤨🤨 suspicious
Garcia: OMG WHO DO YOU LIKE Y/N
Y/n: oh look at the time.. got to uh.. yeah bye
Emily: OH MY GOD WHO IS IT please dont say its Rossi
Rossi: ^ i agree sorry kiddo
Y/n: ITS NOT ROSSI SHUT UP FUCK
Derek: is it hottiepocket bc fuck same y/n 🤤
Y/n: what the fuck
Hotch: No, and I'm removing you for that.
Derek: yeah put me in timeout I've been a bad boy😖😖
[Hotch removed 'Derek']
Y/n: hes taking that a bit too far 🤨 very sus
Emily: omg is it derek???
JJ: OMG NO WAY IS IT???
Y/n: No, no it's why are we assuming it's someone on the team?
Garcia: wait is it hotch you never answered? :0
Y/n: NO he's a dilf but no
Hotch: thank you??
Garcia: OMG WHO THEN WHO
[Hotch added 'Derek']
Derek: Is it Garcia? Idk if I can share🤨🤨🖕🏾
Garcia: chocolate thunder I'm all yours 💖 unless...
Derek: PLEASE🤣🤣
Reid: It's me.
Y/n: what
Derek: AYOO Y/N AND PRETTY BOY?? TOGETHER??🤨
Reid: No but it's obvious if it's none of you guys, then it's me👾
Y/n: ... gtggtg
Hotch: Yeah I could've told you that, they eye fuck all the time
Emily: OH MY GOD YEAH THEY DO HOLY SHIT DATE RN OTP
Reid: Hmm. We're still on for tonight Y/n.
Derek: OH MNM Y FUCKING GOD ARE YALAL SEEONG THUS TIGHT NIW????? FUCK, GO GET 'EM PRETTY BOY OKAYOKAY
Hotch: Have fun you two.
Emily: dont fuck in the bookstore it's illegal apparently:/💔💔
Y/n: Why
Derek: WYM WHY LMAO 🤨
Emily: public indecency or whatever some lame shit
Y/n: NO WHY WOULD WE FUCK IN THE BOOKSTORE????
Reid: ^ :/ thatd be uncomfortable
Dmily: I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS HOLY SHIT
Garcia: MY HEART IS GONNA ECPLODE THERES SO MANY LOVEY DOVEY COUPLES ITS SO CUTE AW
Hotch: ^ just dont make your relationship obvious while in the workplace, and please dont let it affect your work, I expect it won't
Y/n: we dont know what's going on relationship wise rn but thank you Hotch, we appreciate that
Reid: ^ :)!!
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!
