Baddies of the BAU
Hotch: I will punch everyone
Emily: What.🤕
Y/n: ayo hedgehotch slow ur roll, abusing women plus Reid isn't funny
Derek: WHY WAS I INCLUDED IN WOMEN?? HELLO?😨
Emily: HEDGEHOTCH😭💀
Rossi: I would ask why I am but you guys love degrading me so not even gonna
JJ: degrading.. do NOT put it like that ever again mama rossi
Derek: rossi likes being degraded?? #gilfisactuallyaclosetedtwink??
Hotch: I wanna laugh but someone spilt popcorn all over my floor and I feel like it was on purpose considering the sheer amount of it
Emily: make Derek get on his hands and knees and eat it like a dog since he likes to act like one.
Derek: for hotch? I'd do it I'm down he can spank me after 😍😍 I can in fact bark 🐕 woof arf arf grrrrrr
Emily: you and your panty wearing self needs to seek help 😦 rn.
Y/n: calling a mental institution rn
Y/n: ..yet also...
Emily: JAIL. ALL OF YOU. I HATE ANYONE WHO ISNT FULLY QUEER.
Hotch: biphobia🙄👎🏻 ew
Hotch: Y/n you hang around Derek a bit too much
Y/n: SPEAK YOUR TRUTH.
Y/n: also shut up.
Rossi: oh
Y/n: listen all I'm saying is Derek makes very fair points sometimes like.. I can't lie
Hotch: very flattered y/n :)
Hotch: But seriously, I wanna know who spilt food all over my office before I quit my job RN.
Emily: .. I thought it'd be funny to do it to Rossi but I think I was a little drunk when I snuck in... sorry 🤑
Hotch: You are a menace. Please clean it 🙄
Derek: the sass...
Y/n: why are my clothes on the floor rn.
Y/n: AYO I DIDNT MEAN TO SEND THAT WHAT THE FUCK HOW DO I DELETE A TEXT WHAT THE FUDK. NO NO NO.
Derek: ^^ me too
Emily: down bad y/n 😭😭 sussy behavior
Y/n: this is humiliating. Goodbye
Hotch: ..oh?
JJ: LMAO PLEASE??
Garcia: :0
Reid: Why would your clothes be on the floor?
Reid: OH.
Derek: pretty boy..😂😂👹
Emily: Derek I'm gonna protest till you get fired you corrupted Y/n.
Y/n: humor wise? yeah attraction to our dilf boss? Always been there
Derek: NAH BC THATS SO FUNNY SHUT UP🙀😭😭
Rossi: whoever put a can of raviolis on my desk.. I'm insulted and disgusted. Gonna go throw up. I'm Italian don't insult me like that ever again. Thank you!😊
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!
