Baddies of the BAU
Y/n: so did 6th grade fuck us all up or was I just a special case
JJ: for me it was when my sister killed herself but close! 😂🙏
Y/n: oh! Okay!
Hotch: 3rd grade when my dad started beating me 👍 fun times!
Y/n: oh yeah fsfs! 😃
Derek: 7th grade is the reason I cannot grow a single hair on my head 🤬🤬🤬 shit stressed me soooo bad
Emily: 🤢 tragic
Reid: Whole childhood sucked personally.
Y/n: schizophrenic mom, no bitches, nerd
Y/n: yeah spence wins this one gang
Emily: idk I just started hitting people back and nobody fucked with me 🤩🤩
Hotch: makes sense.
Emily: FUCK YOU HELICOPTER WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??? IS IT BC I LIKE PUSSY??!!😒😒
Derek: it's probably because you're INSUFFERABLE 😣😣😣🤯
Hotch: that is rich coming from you Derek Morgan.
Y/n: bro really thought that's insane
Rossi: I liked middle school
JJ: rossi wossi enjoyed those locker room piss sessions huh 🥺
Derek: NAHHH LMAOOO 😣🥲🥲🥲 HELP ME!!!!!
Y/n: RUN DEREK RUN HES GOING TO PEE ON YOU RUN HES RIGHT BEHIND YOU RUN IH MY GOD
Derek: HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
Emily: Derek the typa man to like that 🤢
Derek: 😕😕
Derek: I don't like white people
Hotch: guys please.
Derek: EXCEPT YOU HOTCHY WOTCHY DILFY BOSSMAN SEXYYYY 😍😍😍
Hotch: no no, please include me in the hatred. I insist.
Y/n: Derek is bald, wears panties, likes being pissed on, hits on his boss 24/7, has daddy issues, has a head built like a glossed up bowling bowl
Y/n: did I forget anything? 🤔
Garcia: muscles 😍
Y/n: yeah but that's positive
Garcia: :(
Y/n: ..and he has muscles...
Derek: do you wanna fuck or what 🥵🥵🍌
Y/n: ..where's my gun
Emily: GET HIS ASS‼️‼️GO BESTIE GO 💋
JJ: can we lock him outside or smth
Derek: guys please 🙏 I don't deserve this treatment I am too sexy
Hotch: you deserve so much worse actually.
Reid: why's Derek screaming?
Reid: Oh I see, Y/n really is chasing him with their gun. That is cool. Normal. 👾 totally not a safety hazard!
Emily: BUZZKILL STFU STRING BEAN🤗🤗 Y/N IS DOING WHAT NEEDED TO BE DONE
Derek: ARE THEYE GOING TO ACTUALALY AHOOT ME IM SO DUCKINT SCARED TIFHT NOW IM NOT ENDING UP LIEM MY FATHER SO NOT AHOOT ME I AM OARRY
Hotch: you guys hear smth or lol
Emily: I think there's a fly or smth idk 🤷♀️😋
Rossi: I am concerned. 🍝 I want pasta.
JJ: be useful and make us some pasta Italy man 🤨🤨 don't have all day
Rossi: Okay!
Derek: ?!?v?$€ WHATATSH THE RUDKC
Y/n: he's cowering in a corner shaking its so fucking funny 😭 man moment L
Derek: YOIRE POEITING YOIR GU NAT ME STOP
Hotch: Damn that's crazy
Derek: YOIRE LTIEREALY OIR BOSS?? MAKE THEMXSTOP????
Hotch: who are you ??
Emily: LMAOOO L GET FUCKED DEREK
Derek: I wish 🤪🥵🥵🥵🥵 cmere hotchie 😘😘😘
Y/n: I'm going to shoot him LOL
Hotch: do it out of the bullpen, I don't want to clean that up
Derek: ?!?!!! WHAT THE FUCKC BRO
JJ: THATS FUCKED 😭 POOR DERDER
Emily: deserved 💋 KAM!!!
Y/n: I kinda forget why I was chasing him with a gun it's just funny to see him cry 🥰
Derek: I hate it here 🐅 hoes forever mad
Rossi: kiddos don't kill each other, why die when you can eat my pasta?
Y/n: OOO SAY LESS PAPA ROSSI 🏃 🏃 🏃
Emily: ..how'd he make pasta in his office
Rossi: stove 👍
Hotch: pardon???
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!
