A/N:
Uhhh heyyyyyy 😅😅😅😅 I kinda forgot about this account bc I have been so depressed my humor for this book? Head shotted💔💔
It's been two years I know I am so sorry and I honestly thought people would've forgot about this book but to see so many of you frequently come back to read it actually makes me want to kiss you all, pucker up (I just read it myself, kinda funny af). I can't promise I'll frequently update, I have books I write for on ao3 more often now (not cm related sorry guys..).
But uhh!!!! Enjoy! Or burn me at the stake! Idc!
~
Baddies of the BAU
Emily: THIS IS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT THIS IS NOT DRILL 🚨 🚨 ‼️
Hotch; Is there another active shooter in the building?
Y/n: ..thanks for dropping that so casually wtf?? 😳
Derek: another?? Oh fuck off its 10am and I do not get paid enough to CARE 🤗🤣🤣
Y/n: you get paid enough to gloss and shine that big bald head of yours tho 😆😆
Garcia: that beautiful bald head of his <3
Derek: love you babygirl, y/n kys 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
Y/n: erm no! You first, I'm a visual learner! 🥺
Reid: Is Emily okay?
Hotch: Her being so quiet after declaring emergency is kind of weird.. besties... is she alive... 😥
Hotch: I apologize, not the time for jokes I will go check on her
Y/n: Derek's head strongly resembles a malt ball 🤔
Derek: who fucking HURT YOU 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
Y/n: okay so at the top of that list: YOU!!
JJ: oh HELL NO
Y/n: UH OH WHAT HAPPENED
Reid: Pepper spray lady gave Emily flowers. 👾
Derek: EXCUSE ME?? 😭☠️
Y/n: PLOT TWIST OF THE CENTURY WHY DID SHE DO THAT HELLO??????
Emily: Besties I am so confused rn! 💃
JJ: she gave Emmy flowers...
Emily: that I threw in the trash! 🤩🤩
JJ: omg 😍
Hotch: so when y/n said she had a crush on you.. they predicted the future...
Emily: she did it to say sorry apparently but she.. talked shit about Derek, and pepper sprayed Hotch.. I do NOT forgive her ugly, crusty, lice having, stupid, unaware, self centered, self made bitch self 🤗🤗
Derek: one point for dilfy ☝️🤯
Hotch: I am begging you to shut the fuck up Derek Morgan.
Derek: my bad sheesshhhh 🧐🧐🧐 a little hostile aren't we ⁉️⁉️🤬
Y/n: Derek please
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!
