BAU baddies
Y/n: who tf hurt JJ
Emily: EXCUSE ME
Derek: 😱😱😱⁉️⁉️
Hotch: Pardon me? What happened?
Emily: ^^^^^^^
Y/n: She was texting someone and then she got all teary eyed and like left somewhere idk :( JJ r u ok?
Derek: emily get the scissors its GO time
Emily: ✂️✂️✂️✂️aggressive not sexual
Derek: AYO??🤨🤨
Rossi: Why did JJ just get into her car and leave??
Rossi: oh nvm I should start reading messgaes ahead
Garcia: D:
Derek: bet it was Wills bitchass🤬🤬🤬
JJ: it was ^ :/
Emily: okay all seriousness, what happened???
JJ: the divorce is final but he's trying to get full custody of henry and michael. he said that bc of how I work the kids need someone more stable
Hotch: This is the most difficult part, you're a good mother he won't be able to take them off you without proving that you're a bad mom, which you aren't. Don't worry too much. I'm sorry you're going through this as well. We all are here for you.
Derek: I don't know what to say how do I be serious ?
JJ: thank you Hotch:(
Emily: so can we tell them now..?
Derek: 🤨⁉️tell us WHAT
Garcia: off topic but I may or may not have hacked into Wills stuff and may or may not have frozen his emails sent to his lawyer lol
Hotch: Garcia that's illegal.
Hotch: On another note thank you for doing society a favor.
Y/n: ^^
JJ: I mean it's finalized so I guess we could tell them :)
Reid: Are you guys dating?
Emily: AYE HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT⁉️⁉️⁉️
Reid: I saw you guys kissing outside the bathrooms.
Derek: 😭😭 PRETTY BOY PLEASE
Y/n: Congrats guys!
Garcia: OH MY GOSHES YES CONGRATS THATS SO CUTE OMG OMG !!!
Derek: 👩❤️💋👩👩❤️💋👩👩👩👦👦 them asf rn🤩🤩
Hotch: I really hate to be that guy but, relationships with coworkers is agaisnt protocol.
Emily: hotch stfu PLZ
Hotch: no.
JJ: What about when Rossi and Strauss were banging????🤨
Derek: EW PLEASE 😨😨😨
Rossi: everyone I love dies
Reid: Hey me too!
Hotch: ..
Hotch: Fine I won't say anything but you guys should keep it under the rug while at work. It should not effect how you work here or out on the field.
Emily: MLM WLW SOLIDARITY AT ITS FINEST FOLKS THANKS HOTCHY POO🎉🎉🎉
Derek: Why is Rossi so depressed lol⁉️⁉️
Rossi: you guys bully me and I'm alone
Hotch: dave please seek a therapist I am begging you
Y/n: yeah David PLZ seek help we r worried af
Rossi: local therapists near me
Rossi: therapists near me
Derek: PLEASE HE CANNOT BE SERIOUS RIGHT NOW😭😭😭
Emily: this is sad lol anyways...
Rossi: why is Google giving me a number to the suicide hotline??
Hotch: Are you searching things that would make google be worried?
Derek: how to tie a noose counts as a worrying search btw David🥶🥶
Emily: DEREK OUT OF POCKET💀💀
Rossi: I AM NOT SUICIDAL ALL I SEARCHED WAS FOR THERAPIST AND GOOGLE THINKS I WANT TO DIE
Hotch: .. that is not funny..
Emily: CLOSE YOUR BLINDS DINGBAT WE CAN SEE YOU LAUGHING LMAOOO😭😭
JJ: rossi pm me I'll give you my therapists info hes really good.
Rossi: thank you
Emily: damn awk moment when ur girlfriend kills the mood 😬
JJ: die
Emily: I did already, remember when you all carried my coffin and buried me and then you met me in Paris JJ? 😍😍
Reid: Trauma
Emily: PLZ
Rossi: How to make your friends not hate you
Rossi: how make friends like you
Derek: Mans is making me feel bad:// ngl🥱
Rossi: hm
Y/n: tf is that supposed to mean "hm" are we being guilt tripped or not 🤨🤨
Hotch: dave we dont hate you at all you're just very annoying sometimes! ☺
Emily: 💀💀 hotch the emoji plz.
Derek: BOSSMAN=BUILT DIFF🤬🤬🤬🕺🏾🕺🏾🥶
Reid: Guys what should I wear to my date tonight? I'm nervous.
Emily: OMG YOURE GOING ON A DATE?? 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻
Derek: AYO GO GET 'EM LOVERBOY OO YUH
Garcia: wear something that makes you confident bub
Y/n: YES ^^ VERY IMPORTANT
Reid: Okay! 👾
Hotch: have fun Reid
Rossi: ^
Rossi: If i make a ton of pasta and bring in good wine will I not be bullied anymore??
Emily: we'll think about it
Derek: FOOD? OKAY HM YEAH ILL STOP TBH 🕺🏾🕺🏾
Hotch: Yes we will.
Hotch: maybe
Emily: 💀💀
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!
