The Baby Arrangement

Chapter 65: Why

Chapter 65: Why

It's been two weeks since they lost Carter. It turns out that Beth actually miscarried a while ago, but it was a delayed process in the body, since most woman only really miscarriage up to week 12 and then it becomes rare to lose a fetus. This didn't console Beth when she found out either. As se thought back on it, she never felt him move, or that connection she had with Kensi. Yet that doesn't take away the pain either.

For two weeks Beth has distanced herself from everyone but Kensi. She had a small service for Carter and buried him with her Mother and Shawn, but that didn't console her either. Daryl had said his apologies to her and she had forgiven him, but still pushes him away. Going out the back door, Daryl notices her footprints down the path to the creek. Following them down, he finds her sitting peacefully on a log, with a stick in her hand and the wind blow her blonde hair. Clearing his throat, she turns around, gives him a small smile and scoots over on the log for him to sit. When he does, they just stair at the small creek bed.

"I'm sorr..."

"We don't have to do this Daryl. We're adults...we say things...things happen...let's just move on." She says distant.

"Beth, I love you."

"I love you too, Daryl...I just, really hate this." Taking the stick, she breaks it and tosses it in the water. "I just wanna know why. I know God has a plan for everything and everyone, but why him? Is it us? Is God just punishing me?"

"Beth that's not it. Things happen."

"Things do happen, but why can't they at least come with why they happen? I was ready. I was ready to have him and to marry you and start our life at a new beginning."

"We can still do that."

"God plays unfairly. He moves the queen wherever he wants and then right when yer about to take his king, He flips the chess board over and makes you feel like you did something wrong and yer being punished. Why Carter? What did I do that just made God loath me that he takes Carter away?" Pulling her to him, he kisses her cheek and holds onto her side.

"Baby, we might not ever know. What I do know is that God doesn't loath you. If He did, you wouldn't have Kensi or yer Dad and Mags. Or me...."

"I just don't understand. I hurt all over because I just want my answer. I guess I'm selfish, but I need to know, Daryl. I need too. I have to know."

"Someday we will know. Okay, we will find out." Kissing her temple, he wipes her tears away before kissing her cheek. "Let's go...Kensi will be home soon. She'll wanna see you." Standing up, they start walking up the path and after two long weeks of solidarity, Beth grabs his hand and they walk up to the house together.