The Baby Arrangement

Chapter 111: Luggage

Sitting with RJ in her arms, Beth intently listens to Dr. Edwards as he explains that Beth and Daryl are to monitor RJ to see if he is experiences any changes of character and to report to him so they can measure how he is doing. Daryl half listens and half spends moments in his own mind. He can't blame anyone for his own falling out. Was there a cause or was it simply because he truly wasn't meant to have this life? Stranger things have happened to people who were living a life that wasn't meant for them, but someone else.

The whole way home, Daryl drives and watches out of his peripherals Beth staring out the window and lightly fidgeting. He slowly reaches over and touches her arm. She jumps and gazes down at his foreign hand. At one point she would have unbuckled and sat in the middle by him, curling up and feeling comforted by the strong man who has always been there for her when others weren't, but now...nos she just brushes it off and looks out the window like she's waiting for a meteor shower. Looking up in the mirror, Daryl finds RJ intently watching the road in front of them- eyes glued to the yellow line between the two cars.

The silence fills the truck all the way to the house. When they get there, Beth doesn't hesitate to get out, grab RJ and start inside. Daryl remains in his truck. Beating on the steering wheel, it takes him a few minutes before he unbuckles and goes inside. Walking inside, he notices the quietness. Never had he come home to a full house that was dead silent. Not even Tiny makes noise. Going to the living room, Kensi is sitting with Beth and the boys- their eyes follow Daryl to his place by the mantle.

"Daryl, have a seat please?" Her voice is calm and sweet, but he knows it's a vocal facade for her anger and sadness. Not to rattle the cage, Daryl sits in the arm chair and just waits for the storm to begin. Surprisingly there isn't one. "Kids, Daddy and I talked for a while and Daddy and Isaac are going to be staying in the city for a while."

"But...what about us?" Kensi asks politely.

"Well, we can visit and obviously Kensi you can spend nights with him and Isaac you can come back and see me and Kensi, but for now, that is how we'll be living." Beth calmly says, but Daryl can see her breaking. "Anything you want to add?"

"Babies, your Mother and I still love you alk very very much- that will never change. But with the fights between yu boys and other things- it's just better at this point to live seperately." Kensi being the only child sort of folkowing the conversation, looks between her parents and even she notices it- the distance, the pain.

"Is it us? Is that why you don't love each other?" The question takes both of them by surprise- one with hurt and one with pure guilt.

"Absolutely not! Daddy and I just think this will help the boys get healthy again."

"That's not it though."

"Kens, Mommy and I just need to do this. It's nothing anyone did. And if you're gonna be mad at someone or blame someone- blame me."

"Daryl."

"It's true Beth. Why are we pretending it's not my fault. It's not fair to them or you. Kens, I love you and always will. You and the boys are the best thing that ever happened to me..." Knowing what he said, he watches Beth swallow hard and smile before kissing the kids heads and leaving the room so her tears don't take the room.

"Yer mean Daddy." Kensi says and goes after her mother. The boys just lean on the opposite arms of the couches- disinterested in the whole thing. Daryl swallows and nods shakily to himself as he takes in all the hate of the people he love so much. Standing up, Daryl kisses the boys and them goes upstairs and knocks on Beth's door. Kensi opens up with streaming eyes and walks passed Daryl to her room. Going in, he finds Beth throwing Daryl's clothes into suit cases and when he tries to stop her, she throws them at him.

"Beth...."

"No! You don't get to try and be the nice guy here. You don't get to pretend like this wasn't what you wanted!" She goes to the window and Daryl just wonders what she's doing. Going to the closet, she grabs more of his things- shoes, hats, clothes- and goes to throw them out the window.

"Beth. Stop!" He tries to grap her hand, but she heaves more out of the second floor window to the bushes below. "Jesus Christ Beth! Just fucking Stop!"

He holds her wrists really hard amd for the first time, Beth is truky scared of Daryl. Seeing the fear hit her face and feeling her shaking, Daryl quickly lets go and regrets everything.

"Beth, I'm..." She backs away from him when he tries to reach for her. "Beth, I..."

"Please...just...go." She shakes as she falls to the side of the bed to get away from his reach. Sighing, Daryl grabs his suitcases and then goes and says goodbye to the kids, and grabs his things from the yard.

He sits in his car for almost forty minutes just internally beating himself up for grabbing Beth hard. He'd never hurt her on purpose. He wouldn't.

Maybe...I am my father...