The Baby Arrangement

Chapter 116: End of Pain

Strewn across the waiting room, everyone stays quiet as they await words on Daryl. It seems endless, the waiting. Everyone is napping, but not Beth. As her thoughts of her mother's death play in her mind- she wishes that she had fought harder to avoid all of this. Why is it we say terrible things and then lose the most important things right after it? Her body is weakened from the fear. Fear that Daryl will never get to hold his children again. Fear that he will not live to see their boys grow up big and strong. Most of all, she fears she will never get to hold her best friend again. Of all the things they've been through- it can't end like this.

"Mhmmm, Mommy?" Kensi stirs in her arms and Beth looks down weakly smiles.

"Hi Sweet Pea." Her voice is shakey and the little girl holds her mother tightly. To think, it all started because Beth needed this little girl. She remembers how shocked Daryl looked when he heard Kensi's heartbeat. He was frozen in awe. And when Kensi first kicked- after they were fighting over whether Daryl was happy or not that it was a girl- that kick made him even more in love with their baby, and Beth more in love with Daryl. But the best moment this girl had given her parents was when Daryl first held her after two hours of waiting to see Beth. He called her an angel. And ever since, she was his little angel, his princess, his light. Beth has always been a little jealous of their bond. A little jealous that she meant so much to Daryl. But no matter the jealousy or the romance or anything at all- Beth would never have wished for a greater story for her messed up little family.

"Is Daddy okay?" She asks and Beth smiles the best she can.

"Daddy is going to be just fine...Kensi..."

"Yeah?"

"You know Mommy really loves Daddy so much- don't you? Even though we weren't living together." Kensi looks off at a picture on the wall and then up at her mother. The six year old has always noticed the strained relationship between her parents. She understood it wasn't normal. And as long as she could remember, Mommy and Daddy always fought, but their love was ever lasting and eventually they always came back to each other. But this was different.

This fight wasn't just over something visible. It was over emotions- complex adult emotions that the little girl may never understand. And now that her Daddy was possibly leaving her forever, the thought of her mother asking her this question- makes her feel even more secluded than she had when it was just her and her parents in their first home with Daryl living in one room and Beth in another. Were they ever going to be okay? Even if her Daddy does live- who's to say that after he gets better that their family will make it?

"You can love someone even when they aren't around?"

"Of course." Beth painfully says and Kensi nods.

"Papa says if you love someone- you should let them go. If they come back- they're yours."

The young girl's words are like a knife in Beth's hearts. It was but three years ago when Daryl said goodbye to Beth when she was dying after giving birth to the twins. He let go and Beth came back for him. What if Beth does the same thing for Daryl- and he never comes back? How could she make it? At 31, how do you make that call? Can she live the rest of her life as a single mom?

"Mrs. Dixon?" A doctor with long black hair and curvy lips walks up and smiles at Beth. "I'm Dr. Angela Ballard."

Standing up with Kensi in her arms, Beth shakes the woman's hand and tightens her grip on Kensi. Judging her face, Dr. Ballard doesn't look to enthusiatic about any of this.

"How is Daryl? How's my husband?" Beth nervously asks and Dr. Ballard looks at her feet and then up at Beth.

"He's with us...but he's not out of the woods. From having his heart fail three times earlier today- it's getting harder for him to regulate his heart beat. He's critical and...and well, we're giving him as much time that he needs, but he's on a respirator and most of the time...they um...they don't come back from that. We can allow you to see him, but it may come to the decision of..."

"Please...no... Don't say it." Beth covers Kensi's ear and pushes her face to her shoulder, as she chokes on her tears.

"We'll give you time. I'm...I'm sorry." She bows her head and Beth weakly smiles and kisses her daughters head. Letting everyone sleep, Beth takes Kensi into Daryl's dark room and they look over him. His body is black and blue from the internal bleeding and a tube is shoved into his mouth, as an oxygen tube is in his nose. His eyes are gently closed and the room is eeriely quiet- even though the pump is going and the heart monitor is beeping very slowly across the screen.

"Mommy...can I lay with Daddy?" Kensi shyly asks as her tiny eyes tear up. Nodding, Beth lays Kensi on the bed and she tugs his arm over top over her as her mother looks over them. It's quiet, but Beth can hear Kensi speaking into her Daddy's ear. "Hi, Daddy. It's Monster. I love you. I set you free...I hope you come back."

Beth has to turn away from the touching moment and tears roll down her face. Suddenly the heart monitor speeds up and Beth turns to Daryl having a seizure. Kensi screams in fear and hops off the bed as Beth goes to Daryl's side. She presses the nurse's button rapidly and then grabs Daryl's hand as he jerks horrifically on his bed, eyes rolled into the back of his head and liquid leaking from the side of his mouth.

"Daryl! Don't do this! Please! Please! Stay with me! Stay with me! I need you! I've always needed you! Yer my best friend! Please don't leave me! Please! Daryl!!"

The nurses come in and force Beth and the crying child from the room as tons of nurses and doctors rush into it.