Speak Up - Female Deaf Harry Potter AU

Book 6, chapter 1, Saint Mungos

Hey guys, I just wanted to start this off by saying that I am REALLY REALLY sorry for disappearing for so long. I kinda just crashed at the end of high school, felt like crap and didn't want to function for most of the summer.... it was sorta really bad :(  but I will try to stay on track from now on.

Anyways..... enough of my insanity, let's continue the story cause I left y'all on a massive cliffhanger so you probably want me to continue.

[Remus' POV]

Remus Lupin sat at the edge of a bedside in Saint Mungo's. Healers and their assistants bustled around the ward around him. They were constantly in motion, unlike the still form lying under the sheets next to him. She hasn't moved since that day, and though the healers reassured him that she was doing alright and was stable, he didn't really believe them.

His stomach rumbled but he ignored it, eyes on the face on the pillow in front of him. His cub's face was emotionless and expressionless. Her hair was laid out around her head too perfectly. Her body was placed in a position that resembled sleep. Too perfect, she looked like a doll.

Everything smelled like sickness and chemicals, he could occasionally hear screaming from a nearby ward and crying from the corner of this one.

The source of the occasional crying approached him, a pale ghost-like woman. She reached out and touched his shoulder, as emotionless as the girl on the bed to him, but alive seeming at least.

"Hello, Alice." He said quietly, a sad welcome.

She hummed slightly, patting him on the head gently, then walked away, humming a tuneless melody as she went.

Remus watched her go sadly. He had tried to talk to the Longbottoms many times since he'd gotten here but his old friends didn't remember him, they didn't remember anyone. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, so many had been lost, he couldn't be the last one alive. He deserved it the least. 

Anyone would do better in his place, James, Lily, Alice, Marlene, Sirius - tears welled up in his eyes, Sirius. He couldn't, he still couldn't believe what had happened. Sirius couldn't be gone, he couldn't. He just couldn't. How was he supposed to go on? Without him? He would give anything to be the one who had died instead. If he'd only got there sooner, if he'd helped more.

He choked back a sob, eyes blurred and hid his pain as much as he could to not distress the other patients.

He should have gotten there sooner, known something was wrong, gone with Sirius instead of with the order. He could have done something, thrown himself in between, fought Bellatrix instead. And his cub, she was like this because he lost it instead of protecting her.

He heard the door open but ignored it.

This was all his fault, all his fault. He just... he didn't.....

There was a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm alright Alice." He choked out, "Don't - don't worry about me."

"Lupin," it was a man's voice, "er- Remus, it's going to be alright. She's getting better."

Remus looked up, "Severus?"

"That would be my name." He dragged a chair over to sit next to Remus, conjuring a handkerchief and handing it to him.

"Are you alright? I mean.... clearly, you're not, sorry." He paused, looking uncomfortable, "is there anything I can do to help? Do you need food? Help? A hug?" He said the salt one quite awkwardly.