Thoughts (Part 2!)

2022-10-

Do you ever get the urge to throw up? Not in a nauseous kind of way, but like a forceful kind of way.

I tend to taste bile a lot, usually after I haven't eaten for a while, though it goes away for a bit when I drink water. It usually burns though, as bile normally does.

I know I don't hate the food that I had eaten no less than an hour ago, and it truly was only a passing thought. A passing thought that made me disgusted in myself.

I always swore that I would never do that, there are much better ways to lose the weight, and yet for just a moment I allowed the thought. I allowed it to sit in my head for just a second, a second long enough to debate it.

I'm crumbling slowly. Maybe it's the stress, I did just finish a 38½ hour week, with that on top of school. . .

Am I foolish to believe I could do full time? I feel tired now, its a dreadful feeling. A foggy brain, a constant yawn caused by low oxygen, heavy chest caused by said low oxygen, head falling slightly whenever I blink for too long, sluggish. Being tired just generally isn't a nice feeling. My feet don't hurt today despite the 8 hour shifMum
a bonus honestly.

I want to do midnights. They just seem like the better option, it's something I plan to switch too in February.

I just have to get used to it.

I'm getting a new phone this upcoming Friday after my paycheck, this'll be my largest on so I might as well use it. Mum doesn't want me just fixing my other phone, not worth it apparently.

I dunno honestly. I'm pissed about it but I'll deal with it eventually.

I'll have a good phone again. That and a good one or two hundred bucks left over, which means I can start Christmas shopping.

Weird right? To be Christmas shopping in October? Well I'm ordering most of it online, just wanna make sure everything is here, even if I gotta keep it for a while.

I got a list of people for it too.

• Vi
• Grey
• Jacob
• Dominica
• Isaac
• Karson
• Tommy
• Devon
• Mum
• Everton
• Nethaniel :/
• Dezaree

Those are for actual presents.

• Kayden
• Zander
• Justin
• Ethan
• Gaige
• Gabe

Are on the list of "Only A Card". So thoughtful, right? Note the sarcasm. I'll probably stick like a candy cane and a $5 bill inside, maybe a $10 depends on money at the time, which should be more than enough.

I'm probably gonna give the other list the same cards as well, which is 18 people.

  18
  10
×------
180

Yikes, yeah so I'll probably just do 5's. It'll work out.

I already picked out gifts for Grey, Mum, Vi, Tommy, Everton, Dezaree and Nethaniel. Well, most of Vi's anyway. Gotta find new ears, the ones I originally was gonna get sold out fast. I'm getting Evertons on Friday. Probably gonna start grabbing cards too, gonna try to get several different ones, but I won't fuss over getting doubles.

I need tape too, and Christmas stickers. Probably gonna get all this stuff at Dollartree. It'd make my life easier. Cheaper too.

I have a general idea of what I'm going to get Jacob, Dominica too, kind of Devon as well but I haven't really decided yet. No idea what to get Isaac and Karson, though I'll figure it out.

Anyway, I'mma get off, go look online for a few more things.

Bye bye

2022-10-20

Despite it being tomorrow, Friday could not come faster.

Maybe it's my largest paycheck for a while, or maybe it's the fact that I'm replacing my phone finally, as well as getting a laptop.

I have yet to decide if I want to start recording videos yet, or later on in the future.

Probably later on after I get Vi to make an end screen for me, and after I get a decent video editor.

Finding a pair of headphones with a mic won't be hard.

I'll be able to do Minecraft and Sims currently, nothing much else besides that as I will have to wait to get more money.

I don't think I'll actually start streaming yet. I don't see much point in it at the moment. But I can definitely start doing videos soon.

Maybe I will actually get big, though I highly doubt it, though I suppose it doesn't hurt to dream.

I'm excited, honestly I am.

I'm not too worried about my face getting out or anything, if it happens it happens, however, I have no intention of posting my face or using a face cam.

I'll have to make a playlist too for music that I can use in videos. Specifically for the outro, as I already like my opening, though it's a little off, it fits so what do I care.

Swearings gotta get toned down too, I'll just start saying "mother Hubbard" and "crackers" again if I gotta. YouTube is strict.

Just gotta start small and build up.