Thoughts (Part 2!)

2023-08-25

Vi is moving in soon, I'll need to start cleaning and moving stuff either today or tomorrow, I've already decided to just give dez my bed and take hers, its not much of a change and really she's getting the bigger bed so it matters not to me.

If all goes well then there shouldn't be too many problems, but Vi has a lot of stuff, a lot of clothes. Moving a dresser will be a pain but I'm unsure if we'll be able to keep both. Not all of her furniture is going to fit, no not with three dressers in the room, a desk, two beds, a vanity (albeit small) and art collection boxes, not including her other belongings. I'm genuinely unsure of how it will all work out but I'll figure it out myself if need be. Just be honest with her that not everything is gonna be able to come with. Like her pillows. Storage units aren't expensive so I'll just explain that to her and we can bring some of her stuff down there for her until something else works out.

On a different note, Jacob has not informed anyone outside of his family that we are no longer together, but apparently has canceled dnd until further notice. Found this out through Kayden, who while didn't know why dnd is no longer in session, acknowledges that something is up. I only know that his family knows because Justin has been acting weird whenever I see him in the drive thru.

It has also come to my attention that he is trying to make me feel guilty, suddenly coming back to Twitter or X as it is now called after leaving it months ago for reasons unknown to me and complaining about "not realizing how important something is until its gone", he is also apparently going to my work place more often, despite me giving him my schedule for months wanting him to come and hang out and visit even just once and nothing, I found this out through a few coworkers mind you as he doesn't know my schedule anymore. As of late, anytime he messages, because he wished to remain friends and I abliged, he claims something feels off or that he can't sleep anymore or he suddenly remembers things I like claiming to like them despite absolutely hating them previously, tea being one of them.

The original part of the breakup was clean, it was mature on both sides with the exception of an almost snide remark about not being able to sleep because he was crying.

I feel slightly guilty, I love this boy, truly I do, however he does not share the same views on children that I do and as I have stated in the past, I can't do "long distance" relationships. I require physical affection or I don't feel loved, and our relationship felt as though we were hours away and not just a 25 minute walk.

I might regret it one day, I'm not sure just yet though.

I sound terrible honestly.

I dunno.

Good day.