Thoughts (Part 2!)

2024-02-08

Conversing with mother is difficult.
She is such a narcissist, I'm not saying I'm any better but holy fuck.

I got into a spat with her regarding cooking, I had made garlic noodles with ground beef for two reasons, one I was tired of feeling sickly so hopefully the garlic will force the feeling to pass, and two I didn't feel like cooking to begin with and was being lazy.

She basically called me incompetent, stating that I was incapable of cooking anything other than noodles and deep fryer things because she claims she has never seen me do so. Which is complete bulloxs if you ask me.

I just don't like cooking for others, these people lack manners and are ungrateful when someone does something for them, why would I ever want to cook for them when they seemingly forgot how to say thank you???

I can cook, I took that blasted cooking class for years of course I would pick things up one way or another. But I find it rather difficult to cook when one, I'm at work during dinner 5 days of the week, and two she insists on buying food that is microwavable or chicken, something I refuse to touch and something she disagrees with buying gloves for.

She turned that on me, saying that if I could cook chicken if I "actually knew how to cook". I know how to cook the stupid bird I just refuse to do so. I hardly like the taste of the stuff anyway so why would I cook something I won't eat?

I angered her when I flipped it back on her, pointing out that she doesn't eat most pork products, ensuing a rant where she complained on and on about how hard her life was as a child and that she would have gone vegan if she continued on like that and that when she was my age she had to be grateful for the things she got because she had nothing.

I get life is difficult for all but holy fuck do you need to bring it up whenever you lose an argument? Using your suffering in an attempt to gain ground will never give you a good look to others around you.

Its not like she heads anyone when they try and answer back either, she just keeps talking as though you hadn't said a word. I have gotten to the point where I don't even fully answer her anymore,  dropping down to "uh huhs" and hums of agreement because no matter what I say she won't answer.

Its always about her medical shit too. I know I sound heartless, but I don't want to hear what your doctor has to say for the billionth time, I don't care. You're sick, I get it, you're on half a dozen different medications, I get it.

But I don't care. I don't want to hear about it.

She keeps bringing up that fucking rat to me too. I've told her I want nothing to do with him, I don't want to hear about him, I don't want to talk about him, I don't want to see photos of him. Nothing.

She doesn't listen.

I mean I'm not truly surprised, its always been like this, but I guess I just hoped for change.

On a side note, Vi got a job so congrats to her.

I think I'll be posting these next update, who knows to be fair, but its been a long while.