if you call for me, i'll run to you | a doug ross fanfiction

17.

17.

and baby makes two

October 19, 1995.

for the past day or two, doug and i had yet another falling out. he'd been a little angry lately and we argued over one of our patients yesterday.

i saw on the board that his aids patient was back and regardless of our situation i was willing to help the little boy.

"need me to assist?" i asked doug

"actually, yes, could you do this instead of me?" harper asked, she was one of the newer med students.

"sure, feeling sick?"

"a little"

i helped doug do the second lp instead of harper.

after we were finished, i headed back to the admit desk. i threw my gloves out in the trash.

harper was at the admit desk too. she was quite distraught.

"don't let ross get mad at you for not wanting to do it"

"it's hard seeing kids so sick"

"we've just been around doing it longer"

"thanks dr. l/n" she smiled.

i could tell she was still upset.

"anytime"

"i think he wants you back in there" i pointed

it was later that day.

mark approached me.

"did doug tell you how he wants to treat that boy?"

"chei chei?"

"the aids patient?"

"yes"

mark explained the treatment option.

"you're kidding?"

"i wish i was"

i walked over to an exam room where doug was helping another patient.

"doug, can i talk to you for a second?" i asked

he nodded, following me into the hallway.

"i think you need to rethink chei chei's options"

he let out a groan.

"y/n, this is his only chance at prolonging his life"

"you've been talking to mark haven't you?"

he was irritated

"doug, yes i've been talking to mark because this is completely unrealistic" "this boy has end stage aids, the best option is to make him comfortable"

"you know that"

"you're just going to let him die without trying anything else?"

"get the bloody saviour complex out of your mind" i whispered

"the treatment failed already, he'll just suffer"

"this is a second day in a row where you have opinions on my patient" he smiled

"i'm the pieds doctor" he pointed at me.

i scoffed, walking off. that was all i needed to hear. i wondered why i actually tried to talk some sense into him. there was no talking anything into doug, ever.

later, mark explained the options to the mother which made doug even more angry.

he lashed out at all of us, again. this time worse. let me tell you, now i was fuming.

"i think it would be best if we kept our distance for awhile"

"y/n-"

"goodnight doug, i'm off"

i walked out of the hospital into the crisp october air.

i was so unbelievably angry at the words that were exchanged today. the anger flushed up inside me and evaporated into tears.

that poor mother and son were left suffering and doug didn't do much to help. he thought he did but in reality it was only making him suffer longer. sometimes you can hope for miracles in medicine but most of the time you have to be realistic. even if that means losing a patient.