if you call for me, i'll run to you | a doug ross fanfiction

35.

35.
ambush

for the past few weeks i'd been having insomnia; i couldn't sleep. that was very abnormal for me. i assume jt was because of the stress of this job. i got the attending position but ever since then, i'd been working extra hard to earn my spot. although, i don't really think weaver had another choice for the attending spot.
"y/n, we need you now" malik said
the er was very busy.
i ran over to the patient
"carters patient is in fib"
a couple weeks ago carter somehow convinced anspaugh to let him start down in the er.
"push an amp of empi"
"how long has he been down carter?"
"clear" he shouted
"carter?"
"malik what is this man doing in here?"
"they're filming a movie"
"what the hell? get out of here"
i pushed the camera away.
"clear" carter shouted
i looked at the chart, he had been revived not long ago.
"carter hes gone"
"one more amp of empi"
"carter" i said aggressively
he called the time of death.
"i'll sign the code paper" carter whispered
"don't worry about it"
i signed the paper.
i began to walk out of the room
"i'm sorry dr. l/n"
"carter, it's okay"
"just take it slow, we're here to support you"
"this isn't surgery"
"it's not a competition down in the er"

"so you're y/n l/n"
the camera man followed me around
"i don't think i was told about this"
"do you believe in god?"
"yeah, i mean what do my religious beliefs have to do with this film?"
i continued to walk down the hallway until an unfamiliar face greeted me
"i don't believe we've met, i'm elizabeth corday, the new surgical resident"
she had a british accent, a beautiful one.
"y/n l/n, an er attending, it's nice to meet you elizabeth"
"pleased to meet you as well"
"it's usually not this crazy down here" i laughed
"do you know where i could start?"
"i think there's a trauma in there"
i pointed to the trauma room.
"just join right in" i smiled

i was waiting on films for my coughing patient, i sat down at the admit desk and filled in charts.
"dr. l/n"
the camera was in my face again
"please, i'm not in the best of mood"
"i was about to say, you look like hell" doug laughed
"that's really sweet of you" i said in a sarcastic tone
"i'm having some serious insomnia"
"maybe you should get that checked out"
doug said, walking away.
i rolled my eyes.
"you know, dr. i was told you were going to be the most on camera one"
"i'm an er doctor went through years and years of school, if i wanted to be an actress and if i wanted to be on camera i would've went that route"
"sorry i asked"

"chest films are back on your patient" malik said
i took a look
prominent lung cancer.
i sighed.
"what is that"
the stupid camera..
"lung cancer"
"wow, do you get a lot of those?"
"i get a couple a month"
i ran my hand though my hair.
"how do you feel after giving the patient the news?"
"it's unfortunate, patients come in thinking they just have a cough or maybe pneumonia at the worst"
i shook my head.
"they come in thinking they're fine, that their life is just gonna go on but in reality it's not the case"
"it's sad seeing the reactions on their faces once they realize they might die, or have to spend thousands of dollars on treatment, i still haven't figured out which scenario is worse" i smiled
"as a doctor it's my goal to save people's lives but sometimes that's not the case, sometimes it feels like i've ruined people's lives"